Look Up in the Sky!!

Okay, so here I am. It's a gloomy day in fair Boston. It's the type of day where you need to dress in layers cuz no matter what you do, you're going to get drenched in the rain. I'm so upset that I could't wear flip flops today (yes, I wear them to work...don't sweat me) but oh well any day that I am able to rise out of my bed is a good day, right?

Now this post that I am about to do has been annoying me. I have to type it out. I was going to do it during lunch but since I'm early, I figured what the heck? LOL.

So here we go...



Ummm....no, not really my style, let's change that track...lol.



Let's talk about my hero complex. And yes it is a complex. Tell me if y'all feel the same way. Since I live in a city, I normaly frequent the bus...and EVERYDAY I take the bus there is always some one on it who is standing but isn't holding on to anything in the event that the bus stops short. I always look at them and think to myself, "wow you're setting yourself up to fall stupid" but then another thought begins to form in my head. Suddenly, I begin to think, "okay if the bus stops short and he or she becomes off balance, how can I save them?" LOL. I'm serious. I plan this crap out in my head, my "rescue plan" if you would...LOL. The one thing that my rescue plan does not recognize is the fact that if I tried to rescue them, I would end up saving them...but then I would end up crashing into the window...the bus driver...the back door...SOMETHING! So I began to wonder, "Why do I think this way?" My closest friends know that one of the resons why I moved 2.5 hours away from Boston to get my masters degree was to escape the many people who depended on me. "Oh Max," some of you are saying, "That is sooo mean!" Is it? When you have people calling you because they are sad that their nails broke, or they couldn't afford to get their hair done, or that their boyfriend is a "jerk" when he's bustin' his culo to buy them nice things while you're grieving because you just lost your godmother...that's when it's time to take a breather. And you know what? Now that I am back in Boston, they have all changed. They handle their own problems...so you see techniqually I saved the day again...lol. Just in a different way.

It's interesting though because although I like to save...I don't like being saved. My real cause is self-esteem issues...I don't know why but if I'm in a crowded room with chatty people, I'm always pulled towards the quiet one shrinking in the corner. I've helped many people realize their inner beauty and it's funky to me to see them now, especially when I can still remember the first time that I saw them, but if I were having a bad day or something...I would rather sit in my own funk rather than let someone cheer me up...well sometimes (I know what you're thinking Kalin..."Max, you NEVER let me cheer you up!" Well Kalin that's because after a "session" of you trying to cheer me up I always end up worse off than before!) It's a downfall and I'll admit that I am struggling with it (hmmm...I just admitted weakness...lol). I used to have a super hero complex (you know the one where you believe that you can save EVERYONE and that you're invincible?) I lost that one when I broke my ankle, had to go through surgery, and finally rehab. My physical therapists said to me one day (and I don't know where she got this from), "But Max aren't you superwoman?" I was like, "I used to think I was superwoman until I broke my anke and then it hit me...oh yea, I'm just a regular human. I get hurt, I get sick, no super powers here." That's when I demoted my status. I don't know...should I try to erradicate this complex? (Sorry for the SAT word...lol) Is there anyone else out there feeling me? LOL. Oh! Let's start a possee! It would be so much fun!

Hmmm...I just looked at the time and realized that it's 8:42 am. It's time for this hero to get to work. I know that I am leaving this blog a little undone, but that's because I don't know all the answers yet (yes admitting another weakness). Besides, y'all don't need to know EVERYTHING that's going on inside of my head. It's pretty scary in there...don't go there. :-)

So until then beautiful people...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!!

To all my fellow Bostonians...it's really BAD out there, keep yourselves warm, and if you're in a funk...email me...we'll be in a funk together...lol!