Migraine...

SO I got the dreaded headache. I'm talking I can't stand to be in the light, my stomach is feeling nauseous, every little sound annoys me, and all I want to do is sleep but I can't, MIGRAINE. This one started out SO weird. I was on my way out of the door. I got extremely light-headed so I told my roommate that I was going to go downstairs and lie down...next thing you know it...it's 2 hours later and I wake up in pain...but oh well...I'll deal, this isn't what I want to talk about. I've got some odd thoughts on my mind that I need to get out so I can sleep this crap away...

Thought number 1:

Is anyone else happy that 30 Days is going to be on soon? I love Morgan Spurlock and if anyone is interested in a show that will make you think...check it out! I can't wait! I'm excited!!!

Thought number 2:

Why is it that people who normally don't contact you pick the time when you don't want to talk or being around human beings to call you? Is it fate? Someone playing jokes here?

Thought number 3:

Baby oil and a spatula could be a DANGEROUS weapon if in the right hands.

Thought number 4:

No one seems to be answering my q-tip question, I guess it's time for me to start polling people myself.

Thought number 5:

I think I'm going to cut and paste an email that I sent to my friends about my insane thoughts. I think I'll do it now...and this will end my post for tonight..it's almost 2 am and my mind is empty of odd thoughts. Time to focus on the migraine.

If this doesn't make sense, ignore it...I know I will...lol.

Here is the copy of the email. Enjoy!!!!!
----------------------------------------------

Hey Family, Friends, Lovers, and the rest of y'all,
:-)

How was your Thanksgiving? Mine was fine. I hope
that yours was good also.

In order for me to fight the infamous "Colored
People's Disease" I came up with about 75 thoughts(or
ramblings), but I'm only sending 55, that I tend to
think about or question.
(*NOTE: If you don't know what "Colored People's
Disease is...ask the person next to you...if they
don't know ask me)

Why would I send these out?

Well, some of you will get a kick out of most of them.
Some of you will shake your head and say, "only Max."
Others might become inspired to make their own lists.
You know who you are and which category you fit into.
So happy reading. And as always please feel free to
tell me what you think. :-) Just don't become
offended. IF you feel offense tapping you on your
shoulder...remember...Max doesn't mean it that way.

The Ramblings of Ms. Maxine

1. Where does lint go once you pick it off?

2. Picture this: You're walking down a dark street
and a car with tinted windows drives up on you. A
person, in disguise gets out and smacks you with a
pillow...jumps back into the car and drives off. What
do you do?

3. If Christmas is JESUS's b-day and HE's not here to
receive HIS gifts directly...why doesn't everyone give
HIS gifts to the homeless?

4. For a county that trusts in GOD so much I never
seen so many people scared to fly.

5. Why isn't it ok for a parent to spank their kids
when they did something wrong, but it's ok for the
police to go around beating people? If most criminals
were spanked...chances are they would be different.

6. Since women are shaving off their eyebrows and
drawing them back in...is the next phase to shave off
their hair and draw it back in?

7. Can the Flo-BE work on an afro? And if not, why
hasn't an Afro Flo-Be been invented?!

8. Is it me or does all R&B say the same things but
with different wording?

9. What is the purpose of weave? EVERYONE knows it's
fake! And what about the poor horse? It can't swat
flies off it's back anymore.

10. Can a 19 year old wear depends?

11. People get upset when they hear about another
culture that eats cats and dogs, but how does a
person, with a pet chicken, feel when they see you
sucking on a chicken bone?

12. A friend once told me that she loves to eat hogs
head cheese and pigs feet, but when asked if she would
eat escargot...she exclaimed, "No!" But wait...pigs
use the bathroom in their pens and then walk around,
sleep, and chill in it ALL day!

13. How can you really "tell someone off?" And what
goes off once you're finished?

14. Why do we call unidentified bodies "John Doe?"
Was it originally a John Doe who donated his name?

15. My mother tells me to never baby, a man or pump
up his ego or do everything for him. Yet I see her,
my aunt and female cousins doing all of that for my
brother....EVERYDAY. hmm...

16. Do I really are about Justin and Britney?

17. Can a mute person make a booty call?

18. Who determines what is crazy? Wouldn't you have
to be crazy in order to spot the signs?

19. Why doesn't white and off-white match? Who made
up that rule? Isn't that discrimination?

20. Why are some of the most militant anti-white
blacks married to white people?

21. Everyone makes a big deal about Michael Jackson
and his skin color. If he did change his skin color
then why are you shaking your head while going to the
tanning salon for the 3rd time this week?

22. Why can't I marry myself so I can keep all the gifts?

23. Is it wrong that I want to take all the cute gay
men and turn them straight by shooting them with my
sex change gun? And then take all the ugly men and
turn them gay?

24. Why did LL Cool J want a girl with extensions in her
hair, bamboo earing at least two pair? Does he know
something we don't?

25. If you went to a wedding and the first dance the
bride and groom does is the electric slice what would
you think?

26. How come you hardly see black folks in Disney
movies? Was there ever a black star in Disney movies?

27. Who came up with the word pun and why?

28. Does being PC all the time bother anyone else?

29. If Tiger changed golf, and Arthur, Venus, and
Serena changed tennis...where the heck is the black
Martha Stewart? And would she teach us how to use
ghetto items to decorate our homes?

30. If a tree fell in the woods and no one was
there....WHY WOULD I CARE?!

31. How come Ed McMann/Publish Clearing House never
goes to the hood to give people money?

32. Why would a person steal a Bible? Aren't they
defeating the purpose of having one?

33. What's the worst? Someone sneezing in the salad
bar and you don't know or someone sneezing on the
sneeze guard and you seeing that? And are sneeze
guards accomondating to people under 5 feet tall?

34. What is the purpose of talking to yourself if you
don't answer?

35. Is is still indecent exposure if I walk naked in
a neighborhood filled with blind people?

36. Mimes...why?

37. Bring back school spankings....PLEASE!

38. Adults should get spankings too...

39. If someone with bad body odor sits next to
someone with bad breath...don't you t think it's funny
that they would notice each other's funk?

40. Sometime I miss my imaginary adopted sister,
Jennifer. I would write her imaginary letters, but I
don't know her imaginary address.

41. What ever happened to Michael Bolton?

42. Why should I feel upset that a transvestite is
more feminine than me? Like vegetarian meat, they
have to work 10 times as hard to try to be like that
real thing...but they can never be...even after an
operation.

43. If Martin and Malcolm lived...what would they
think of the jheri curl?

44. A moment of silence for the great old skool
bands, like the Gap Band who is now reduced to singing
in commercials about bottled water.

45. If I found Michael Jackson's nose...do I get an
award?

46. Why do most people hide behind their color when
the issue of rhythm comes up? JUST TRY WHITE
PEOPLE!!!

47. Since there are no toilets for insects...and they
have to go somewhere...is it safe to say that
sometimes it isn't random rain drops you're feeling?

48. I want to kidnap Carrot Top and beat him with a
pillow case filled with door knobs...anyone want to
come? I'm forming a posse.

49. I like saying Platypus...how about you?

50. Can something really smell like "open ass?" And if so can you close it?

51. Why do people with roaches always place the blame
on their neighbors?

52. Now that Clinton is in Harlem, is he down with
the swirl?

53. What is the purpose of cotton candy? Except to
make children bounce off the walls?

54. I've heard "America love it or leave it!" And I
wonder was that slogan used in England when the
Pilgrims made their journeys?

55. Is it strange that I've never seen a Native
American up close?

I hope you enjoyed it! I did when I read through it again...

All right readers...it's time to take down the migraine...


Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!