Some day my prince will come...

I don't the exact time I stopped believing in the "one true love" theory. You know that one. It's the one where you and this person have been a part for sooo long! You grew up in the US and he grew up in Spain, but you were DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER!!!! So you both deal with absolute pain and suffering until that one day...you glance at each other across a crowded room. Cut to scene where you both are running through a field in slow motion. You both continue to run until AT LAST Your true LOVE has come along!!!! He/she now completes you. You are SO happy! They are the ying to your yang...the stick to your popsicle, the platanos to your arroz y habichuelas (plaintains to your rice and beans...sorry...I'm craving Spanish food at the moment). But you get the point, right?

Well I don't believe in that anymore. I guess one can say I'm more realistic about this. Sure I still believe in love but so help me if someone tells me "Don't worry Max, you'll find someone to love you," ONE MORE TIME...I'm going to slap them silly with my pimp hand. I'm not sure which one is my pimp hand...but I will be willing to find out if I hear those words again! Sorry for getting violent but you just don't how many times I have to hear those words!!! Look...I know that I'm not ugly (shoot as a matter of fact, if I were a guy I would so date me...I sexually harass myself on a daily basis...LOL), I got a slammin' personality (I'm the type of woman who treats good men like kings of the universe because I already know that I'm its queen), I'm hilarious (I can make anyone laugh), I'm laid back, intelligent (oh so intelligent! I'm SMART!), and so modest...oh my goodness can't you tell??? So I don't need anyone's pity. I know I'm the bomb and if I was willing to settle I would be married right now...not happy...but married.

I just don't believe in the "one person" who is waiting for me...

I see so many people who are afraid because they pushed away a good person. Afraid because they think that was their last shot a love...but that's not true. The way I see it is like this: I've met so many men and we clicked so quickly. I mean, the mental vibe was so strong that I was like "whoa." But for whatever reason, we couldn't do anything. Like, they lived too far away, they are married/engaged/dating seriously/gay, the drama in our lives made it impossible for us to concentrate on anything else but our lives. See what I mean? But does that mean that I will never find love? Ummm...NO. I will...but I guarantee you it won't be a Cinderella experience! I mean, I really think television, music, and movies ruin the truth about love. They feed us pictures of people falling in love and that's all they need. They don't really mention the part where you're looking at your significant other and you're deciding whether or not you're going to continue to love them when you see them lick their fingers and insert them once again into the peanut butter jar. Or the times when you want to kill them because they decided to video tape you in the bathroom...and no these things haven't happened to me, and I feel for the person who tries...but c'mon people in love go through these things ALL the time!

I'm actually happy that I don't believe in the "one true love" theory. SO HAPPY!!!! The way I see it is like this. One day, someone who has either been in my life for a long time or someone who sees me walking down the street will tell me (after a month or two of dating) that they are in love with me and I will respond in a very positive manner and I will marry him and there will be punums (children)...lol. But it wouldn't be a situation where we're like, "Oh my goodness...I was half of a person when I met you...blah blah blah. It's going to be more of a "hey, you're chill...I like you." lol...

And I'm okay with that. Well I must bring this blog to an end because I just do...lol.

So until then kiddies!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

Too Young to be Tied Down....

Man, I reread my last post that I wrote here and golly!!! LOL *pokes depressed Maxine*

And the winner for one of the most dramatic posts goes to... *opens envelop*
Oh my goodness! I knew she would win. I voted for her myself. MAXINE!!!! C'mon up depressed chica and accept this award!!!

*I walk up on stage and accept my award*

Wow...thanks! I didn't think I would ever get this! I mean, there were SOOO many people out there who could have won this! I would first like to thank God, not because He gave me this mood but because I won! I would also like to think my mom. *Holds out award* THANKS MOM!! You gave birth to me and you dealt with me during my teenage years. To my friends...you guys are the bomb...don't ever forget that! And to the members of the Drama Awards...thank you for noticing this chica from the Boston area. Although I honestly try to limit the amount of drama that I experience in my life it tends to hunt me down, capture me, and hold me hostage. So Drama...you're my favorite of all!!! *winks* Without you, I don't think I would be able to write as much! *music starts playing* Okay, I guess my time is up. To my fans I am nothing without you!!!!


LOL

Sorry, I had to poke fun at that last post...but yea the title of my post for today. I'm not talking about commitment, although the thought of it tends to freak me out sometimes. I'm talking about jobs. I originally wanted to work in higher education, but now I am thinking that I want to put that on the back burner for a while. You know, get some experience in something that I've always wanted to do. When I was a teenager I had a job that paid me to write stories, poems, ANYTHING! And you know what? That wasn't work for me at all. I just couldn't believe that someone was going to pay me good money to do something that I already do. But trust me, I took the money and ran with it. The funny part is...I want that now. But not just write...maybe sing, I just don't know. Perhaps I could meet up with a professional photographer and he could teach me the tricks of the trade...GOSH MY HEAD!!!! LOL...Sorry, I've been thinking a lot lately and me coming to the revelation of not wanting to experience the higher ed track has lifted a HUGE boulder off of my shoulders. For the first time in a long time I can breathe easily. I mean, I came to this epiphany earlier in the year, but I allowed someone to talk me out of it (Stupid me). As I gaze around my living room I notice the awards that are on my wall. I see one that I received for a poem that I had published when I was 20 (yea 7 years ago) and I'm wondering why do I only have one? I have journals filled with poems...it's about time that they see the light, right? I think so!!!

I guess what freaked me out about admitting that higher education might not be something that I want to explore yet is the fact that I've been taught to have something constant in my life. My mom really wants that for me and I know that if I begin to jump from job to job that would make her uneasy. And yea I know, I can't live my life for her but she's made so many sacrifices for me thanks to that jackass sperm donor who left me when I was 5 years old...otherwise known as my dumb ass father. I mean, my mom had to step up in my life. My brothers still had their father in their lives and there I was the fatherless baby of the family. Life was great with my mom. Sure we've has some fights (oh my goodness...I still have the emotional scars from some of those things) but when I look back on my life...I seem to only see the good parts first. Going to the Nutcracker together and being the only two people there dressed down. At first I felt out of place, but she turned to me and said, "Don't we paid the same amount of money that they did, so who cares?" Her supporting my weird beret phase by buying a beret of every color...but the story that I will never forget is the day that I was on my way to school and I didn't have any lunch money. I guess she had forgot to buy some food for lunch or something, but she didn't have a dollar to give me so she gave me her half dollars. But here's the thing, they were so precious to her. She had been saving them for the longest time and she gave them to me. I looked into her eyes and said to her, "But mom, you've been saving these for the longest time! They are precious to you." She smiled sadly and said, "I know, but you need to have lunch so here." I'm tearing up remembering that day because it consumed my thoughts throughout the entire day until I spent them. I can easily replace the 2 half dollars by giving my mom 2 more...but her sacrifice deserves much more and that much more is having a daughter who financially secure, who is able to take care of her when she grows old. She deserves that BIG time and I even have plans one day to buy her one of those rare coin collections filled with silver half dollars. That way she will know that I haven't forgot. I even plan to compose a poem recapping that day. She deserves it...I am who I am because of her. I look around my townhouse and remember how life was when I was a kid. It definitely wasn't as lavish as I have it now. When I go home to visit her, I look around the house and I think, "Goodness, this woman has done everything in her power to lift her family out of poverty!" And now it's time for her children to continue.

So do you see my dilemma? She freaks out when I'm not consistent. When I was in college I started out as a psychology major. Then I decided to change to communications. Imagine her shock and the many times I was asked, "So what can you do with that degree? How will you be able to support yourself?" Well at that time, I wanted to be the next Oprah (stop laughing), but then higher education tapped me on my shoulders, and I said, "okay." Then the questions started flooding in and everyone thought that my degree in higher ed meant that I wanted to be a teacher so I let them believe that. (I wasn't trying to be evil, I just don't like to explain things a lot so after answering a few questions, I was just like, "whatever" if they think I want to be a teacher, then let them. Who is it hurting???)

Now....well now I want to tell her, "Ummm, Mom? Let's talk about this higher education stuff..."

I know, I can't live for my mom. And I'm young so this is my time to explore every option that I want...even if it is tap dancing (just kidding). So, I guess it's time for me to unlatch myself from the Higher Education train (sorry, I'm listening to a station filled with 90's music and the song C'mon and Ride it by the Quad City Dj's is playing so that should explain the metaphoric phrasing) and find another mode of transportation. It doesn't mean that I will never go back to that field. It just means that I need something else to satisfy my needs for now or forever... *shrugs*


-------------------Completely different topic--------------------------

I'm conducting this experiment and I figured why not post it under my blog. I mean I think about 3 people read this thing...so you three can answer a question for me.

One day my friend Jason (and yes I consider you to be a friend) asked me this question:

When you step out of the shower and you use a q-tip. Do you wet (either by placing it in your mouth or under running water) it before you use it?

If you want to answer it, could you just reply to my blog, and oh yea...could you tell me your ethnicity? I'm working on a theory here but I can't tell you what that theory is because it would ruin my experiment (I guess I learned something from psychology after all). Once I collected my data, then I will explain my hypothesis along with my theories in a future blog. You don't have to give me your name. You can do it anonymously...but I would appreciate any help that you give me and I believe my brother from another mother (bump "in another world" Jason...so I guess that would make me your sister from another mister...lol) would appreciate your help too.

Until then my darling readers!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!

I Wish the Real world would just stop hassling me

Have you ever had a time when everything as well as nothing was going on in your life? Well that's what I'm going through. I kinda wish that I could go to my Happy Place for a while but my Happy Place is so far away and besides I don't think my roommate would all me to lie in my bed all day in the fetal position...Though it sounds sooo good to me at this point and time. Now wait, before you pick up the phone and call the men with the cute white jackets, relax. I used to go through this a lot when I was a grad student and working full time. This is my, "Hmmm...Something is wrong with me but I don't feel like admitting what it is." Sounds crazy? Well yes it is! It's very crazy...But it's my craziness and I'll deal with it thank you...LOL.

Today I go so upset over something so little and as much as I tried to calm my body down, it kept tensing up...So I did the one thing that would cure me of my harsh emotions....I put in a sad movie and I cried out my frustrations. Sounds odd? Try it, it works. I guess it's a chick thing, but all I knew was after the movie, I was stuffed up...My eyes were swollen, but I felt better...A little bit moody (hence my ability to do this blog) but better.

I guess it's my time to be trapped in my thoughts. That way no one can bother me at all. I stare at my cell phone when it rings, check the messages after, and then I go on from there. Still wish I can go to my Happy Place...But it might scare Kel as well as some of my friends who expect me to be their rock at all times. Well you know what? If you take a rock and drip water down on that rock and the same spot...Guess what? That rock is going to change it's shape. I don't know...It might even break. But am I breaking? Hmmm...I don't think so. If I were breaking do you really think I would be talking to you all about this? NOPE. Hmmm....Happy Place.

When I was in the hospital because of my broken ankle I used to get morphine and demorall (spelling?) all of the time. All I knew was when they were injected in me, the walls would begin to sprout flowers and the ground began to grow grass. The next thing you know it, I was running through a meadow. No one bothered me and my ankle was healed...Shoot I was frolicking though that field so I'm pretty sure my ankle was healed! But I liked that place. I would wake up to find myself in a hospital with a doctor looking me or a nurse forcing me to get out of bed. Hmmm...Happy Place. I would really like to be there. Just for a while...To borrow a line from Matchbox 20:

I wish the real world would just stop hassling me

What's wrong, you ask? C'mon, do you really think I would tell you? The purpose of this blog isn't to beg for sympathy or to allow a question and answer period. It's just me...Letting my blog juices flow (LOL...Jason) to give me a chance to start processing what the devil is going on inside of my noggin' because until I do that...This will be my mood...My Happy Place will be my dream....And the real world will be my nightmare. Hmmm...That last line could be a poem if I felt like writing one...LOL.

Hmmm...Happy Place.

Until then readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease


P.S. I would apologize for the tone of this blog, but I don't feel like it. Sounds harsh...yea I know. Happy Place...

Disgusted

I swear...

If I hear ONE more commercial for a show that that states "We will show you how to look like the celebrities without spending a lot money" I'm going to go postal. I'm talking storming up and down the streets of Boston and hitting people with whatever is in my hands...yea I know that the "term" postal insinuates that the person has a gun, but I've lost enough people to homicides...I don't want to go there.

But anyways...I have to finish my rant.

Remember back in the days? You know when the celebrities were cool, but the secrets to their beauty were a well kept secret? Can we go back to those days? I personally don't care what JLo does to get her nice "glow" but it seems to me that more and more of our youth today are falling into that nonsense. I mean...you have reality television on MTV that shows young people going into plastic surgeons offices just so they can have Britney Spears' looks or Ricky Martin's chest! What are we doing to ourselves?! What happen to accepting our differences and lovin' what we got? Sure I don't look like any of the celebrities out here and I'm darn proud of that! I remember back in the day I used to be on this site called College Club. Whenever I met a new guy he would say, "which celebrity do you look like the most?" I would always respond, "I look like me...no one else." But I guess that's just me...you know a individual until the day I die. When I was in middle school I had the beret phase thing...and let's not forget the African print shoes, or my favorite pair or shoes in the whole wide world...my tennis shoes with smiley faces in different colors all over it. OH I loved those shoes!!! I just so wish that everyone could be chill with themselves!!!! If everyone decided to change their looks to their favorite celebrity then this country will become one filled with copies...instead of one filled and decorated with funky individuals!

Who do we have to thank for this? Well for once it's not the government...it's the media! They are the ones who flood our televisions and magazines with this crap! To this day, I refuse to have a magazine subscription. I've had a few when I was younger like Jet, Ebony, and Latina...but I started to notice that I didn't agree with the messages that they were giving: If you want to look like this celebrity buy this lipstick. If you want to be sickly thin follow this celebrity's diet plan. If you want to objectify yourself, but this celebrity's bathing suit. If you want to have the type of hair that makes him want to run his fingers' through but this shampoo and conditioner along with this hair color.

I decided to wear my hair natural when I was a sophomore in college (as opposed to having it chemically straightened). So one day I was rocking my fro and I heard someone say, "Oh that's how a lot of sistahs are wearing their hair with the afro and the head scarf today thanks to Jill Scott." I turned and said, "I decided to go natural 1 year ago. Looooong before Jill Scott hit the scene!" I was so upset! I mean how dare he think of me as a conformist!!!

I just think that EVERYONE is this world would be happier if they were happy with themselves and not coveting another person's physical traits.

Am I wrong?

OF COURSE NOT!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE DEALING WITH?!

Is it me?

*Typing this post while still technically asleep*

I don't know about y'all but my mom loves to send me forwards. Everytime I open my yahoo account, there are about 5 waiting for me at 8 am. Well this one was quite interesting to me cuz it tells you the "characteristics" of people born during certain months. Normally when I read something about November babies it freaks me out...because most of the time I'm being told that I'm some sort of sexual freak who will destroy anything in my path...yes, I'm a scorpio too. But this one kinda cracked me up. Check this out:

---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes (ME: ONLY JUST A LIL BIT). Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind (Me: I prefer 1 in a million...lol).

It hits a lil too close to home don't it? LOL. But what's deal with the line "the greates men are born in this month?" What about the women??? Oh but wait, this is my MOST favorite under the Novemeber Babies post:

Repost
in 5 mins & you will excel in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

Are you kidding me?! That's like me going up to someone and saying, "If you give me $50.00 something good will happen to you during this week."

Ok, it's time for me to start my last day at this temp job. I'm not sure if this post makes sense...but then again, does it REALLY matter if it make sense? I mean, here I am pouring out my heart for your entertainment and criticism...lol. Oh goodness, whatever...

3 days without sunlight....3 more to go. I better get some sunshine soon or one of two things are going to happen. 1. I'm hiring someone to follow me around with one of those tanning lights. 2. I'm going to go postal and I don't even work in a post office...lol.

Until then homies...lol.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!

P.S. To the person who posted the coffee remark, this chica under the influence of any type of drug is not a good thing. Shoot...it's bad enough that I'm under the influence of myself...lol.

Women's Bathroom

Before I get into this post...let me first say:

WARNING!!! The following blogger has coffee in her system and she isn't a coffee drinker, so I'm not sure what's going to come out of my head...

Let's talk women's bathrooms.

What annoys me most about the women's bathrooms is the women. Okay...hmmm...perhaps annoy is too strong of a word. It actually kinda cracks me up. What is it? It's the fact that you have many women out there who are ashamed to "perform" certain bodily functions when there is someone in there. You know who you are. You are chillin' doin' number 2 (yes, I decided to use a nicer term) and someone comes into the bathroom. What do you do? You stop!!!! I always find that fact fascinating! I mean we ALL have the same bodily functions! I'll tell you one thing, first of all I personally don't like using public bathrooms, not because I'm shy...it's because of all the dirty things I've seen in the bathrooms! When I was a grad student, one of my co-workers walked out of the bathroom without washing her hands (first alarm) THEN when I walked into the office she was there eating a sandwhich WITHOUT plastic wrap around it (second alarm)!!! There were no sinks between the women's bathroom and the office...so you see stuff like that freaks me out BIG TIME!

Why am I writing this post? Well I just think it's silly for people to stop what they are doing just so they can "pretend" to the person that they aren't doing what it's so obvious they are doing...lol. Unless you're stuff smells like cake (mmmmmm...cake smells) then the person is going to know what you're doing as soon as they step into the bathroom. My thing is...continue what you're doing but since someone is in the bathroom with you...give some curtesty flushes...but that's it. I know that what I'm about to say is mean...but I have to say it. It's a warning to all the ladies out there. If you're using the bathroom and I walk in and I hear you stop (because you don't realize it...but most people make noises when they stop that function) I'm going to take my TIME in the bathroom. Oh, I used to do it all the time in college. I'll take my time using the bathroom, getting re-dressed, I'll wash my hands for like 3 minutes, then pull out some lotion and start to slowly lotion each finger and under each finger nail, I would check my hair...even it it's twisted and doesn't require a comb or pick, I would mess around with it, try out a new hairstyle, then glance at myself in the mirror and make faces at myself. This whole exchange will take about 15 minutes....lol. The funny part is going to the door and hearing the person finally relax. I know, you're calling me mean, but am I? I didn't make the person ashamed to do stuff like that in public...I'm just being, well? Okay mean *sighs* but I can't help it. I can understand if perhaps you were the ONLY person who did number 2s but goodness we all do it and if someone tells you that they don't, then that person has some issues. Though there was one time when a friend of mine had to go to the bathroom, so since it's a chick's rule to not allow your girl to go to the bathroom alone (especially in an old empty building like we were in) I went with her. Let's just say that within 1 minute I was leaving the bathroom, within 3 minutes I walked down the stairs away from the bathroom to escape the sounds coming from her stall, and within 6 minutes, I was not only outside of the bathroom and down the stairs, I was around the corner shaking my head because not only could I still hear her "noises" she was cracking up! I felt bad for ANY woman who had to go to the bathroom. Perhaps my girl should have practiced some of the shame that most women practice...lol.

I don't think I'm even going to edit this (coffee is still flowing in system)...I'll do a grammar check because it bothers me to see my writings with errors.

Oh yea, to the person who responded to my blog yesterday...thanks for the response. I'm slowly starting to realize that I can't save everybody and I think as long as I let that thought sink in...I won't crash as hard. It shocks me to this day when I find that someone is actually reading this stuff. Why write a blog you say? Well I normally have a journal for my deeper thoughts but I wanted to have something for my silly thoughts...hence the blog. I am a BIG thinker and I need several outlets to clear my thoughts or I would go crazy just like the tagline under my title suggests.

All right, I GUESS I should go back to work.

Hasta Manana hombres y mujeres!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

Look Up in the Sky!!

Okay, so here I am. It's a gloomy day in fair Boston. It's the type of day where you need to dress in layers cuz no matter what you do, you're going to get drenched in the rain. I'm so upset that I could't wear flip flops today (yes, I wear them to work...don't sweat me) but oh well any day that I am able to rise out of my bed is a good day, right?

Now this post that I am about to do has been annoying me. I have to type it out. I was going to do it during lunch but since I'm early, I figured what the heck? LOL.

So here we go...



Ummm....no, not really my style, let's change that track...lol.



Let's talk about my hero complex. And yes it is a complex. Tell me if y'all feel the same way. Since I live in a city, I normaly frequent the bus...and EVERYDAY I take the bus there is always some one on it who is standing but isn't holding on to anything in the event that the bus stops short. I always look at them and think to myself, "wow you're setting yourself up to fall stupid" but then another thought begins to form in my head. Suddenly, I begin to think, "okay if the bus stops short and he or she becomes off balance, how can I save them?" LOL. I'm serious. I plan this crap out in my head, my "rescue plan" if you would...LOL. The one thing that my rescue plan does not recognize is the fact that if I tried to rescue them, I would end up saving them...but then I would end up crashing into the window...the bus driver...the back door...SOMETHING! So I began to wonder, "Why do I think this way?" My closest friends know that one of the resons why I moved 2.5 hours away from Boston to get my masters degree was to escape the many people who depended on me. "Oh Max," some of you are saying, "That is sooo mean!" Is it? When you have people calling you because they are sad that their nails broke, or they couldn't afford to get their hair done, or that their boyfriend is a "jerk" when he's bustin' his culo to buy them nice things while you're grieving because you just lost your godmother...that's when it's time to take a breather. And you know what? Now that I am back in Boston, they have all changed. They handle their own problems...so you see techniqually I saved the day again...lol. Just in a different way.

It's interesting though because although I like to save...I don't like being saved. My real cause is self-esteem issues...I don't know why but if I'm in a crowded room with chatty people, I'm always pulled towards the quiet one shrinking in the corner. I've helped many people realize their inner beauty and it's funky to me to see them now, especially when I can still remember the first time that I saw them, but if I were having a bad day or something...I would rather sit in my own funk rather than let someone cheer me up...well sometimes (I know what you're thinking Kalin..."Max, you NEVER let me cheer you up!" Well Kalin that's because after a "session" of you trying to cheer me up I always end up worse off than before!) It's a downfall and I'll admit that I am struggling with it (hmmm...I just admitted weakness...lol). I used to have a super hero complex (you know the one where you believe that you can save EVERYONE and that you're invincible?) I lost that one when I broke my ankle, had to go through surgery, and finally rehab. My physical therapists said to me one day (and I don't know where she got this from), "But Max aren't you superwoman?" I was like, "I used to think I was superwoman until I broke my anke and then it hit me...oh yea, I'm just a regular human. I get hurt, I get sick, no super powers here." That's when I demoted my status. I don't know...should I try to erradicate this complex? (Sorry for the SAT word...lol) Is there anyone else out there feeling me? LOL. Oh! Let's start a possee! It would be so much fun!

Hmmm...I just looked at the time and realized that it's 8:42 am. It's time for this hero to get to work. I know that I am leaving this blog a little undone, but that's because I don't know all the answers yet (yes admitting another weakness). Besides, y'all don't need to know EVERYTHING that's going on inside of my head. It's pretty scary in there...don't go there. :-)

So until then beautiful people...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!!

To all my fellow Bostonians...it's really BAD out there, keep yourselves warm, and if you're in a funk...email me...we'll be in a funk together...lol!

So sure...

Hey people...

I'm kinda busy at work, so I can't do my blog on being a hero...But I've been playing around with this poem for the past 2 days. Let me know what you think about it.

It absolutely scares me how you're so sure
Willing to trust someone with my past is pure-
ly odd to me and surely I know you've been hurt, you shared that so freely
And it boggles my mind
Cuz though I've been expose to many types
I still haven't encountered your kind
Am I blind?
Or are my eyes wide opened as I'm lead down the exact place from whence I came?
Back down to heart break?
Or
Perhaps to do what it takes for me to change and make you happy that you decided to partake
in this crazy thing I call my world
Your smoothness amazes me
Your sweetness craves my soul to interact with yours
As I type away it's all nonsense for life is a daze...
Mind a blazed from the cluster of thoughts
As I muster the courage everyday just to say "hey"
Trying to act normal while still dizzy for your text effects me throughout the day
But it's no use...
The changes in my dialect gives me away

So truthfully, I want you to stay and play

And adore me...

For I promise thee
I won't flee

That's it. I'll admit it's still kinda rough...LOL.

It's May!

What's up everyone!!!

I know what you're thinking...Max where the heck were you! I'm sorry...I sista has to work. I mean, I could easily get a sugar daddy, but I decided a long time ago that that thought was completely gross! Besides, I would feel bad because every night I would end up switching his viagra with some sleeping pills and when he woke up the next day I would at him and say, "Wow daddy you were GREAT last night!" And if he said that he didn't remember...I would cry and say, "Every night with you is the best experience I have ever had and you don't remember it?!" Trust me...Those sentences along with some tears would make any man play along...LOL.

So work? Yes. Still haven't found my "dream job" and if you know me...You know that I don't like to just settle, so I have been temping. It's fun actually. If I don't like the place, I get to smile at the thought that I really don't have to return once my assignment is up...LOL. I am actually "working" right now. I'm experiencing down-time and I always found that it's when you are experiencing your down time everyone is mad crazy busy (ghetto vernacular flag...LOL)! And no...I don't participate in bored calling (see post "And you're calling me before" to understand what I am talking about), so I decided to post. Though I don't think anyone is reading this anymore. The last time I posted was in March. WOW! Perhaps I should catch y'all up? Maybe? Yes? No? LOL...Well I'll catch you up in Maxine's style of catch up:

Dating or in Love: NOPE

Job: NOPE and I don't want to talk about that. Most of the times when I try to talk about it with my friends I have to spend my time convincing my friends that I am okay with it while in the back of my mind I'm going "Ummm...Why are you more distraught than me?!" But I guess I've never been one to worry too much.

Family: They are doing great.

Home: Kelly and I are still doing our thing. We still haven't argued yet and that's because we tend to ignore each other when the other person is in a crabby mood (which is usually me...But I warned her that I'm not always cheerful when I'm home. I think it's because on the outside I feel the need to always smile and be sweet with all that I encounter...So I need some time to be in a bad mood).

Hero Complex: Yea...I still have it. LOL. I tried to get rid of it...But it's not working. Perhaps this will be my post tomorrow. The part that REALLY sucks about a hero complex is the fact that you're too busy saving the world but then it hits you...who is going to save me? Any takers? LOL

Talents: Some of you really care about this so I figure that I'd let you know. For those who don't care...Skip over it, close your eyes, scroll down. :-) I've been writing more (poetry and stories) and even singing more. I swear I would LOVE to start up a band...LOL. I have most of the instruments at my crib...Thanks to Gaetane for supplying me with my guitar and bongos which are both red! My favorite color just in case you don't know...LOL. So if ya want to play or just jam, you know how to reach me. Seriously.

I've met some new people and things are working out fine. A few of them are REALLY sweet and I don't know, it just feels good when you get to that point in your life when you feel that everyone you meet are enhancing your experience in this world. So let's end this in a sweet way...

To my new "friends" ( I use quotes because I tend to be a bit careful about using that word with people), "sit back, relax, and let's enjoy this adventure called life together! LOL. I don't know how or why, but I do know that we met for a reason...

To my old friends, "you all know that you will forever have my loyalty and my love. Thanks for being the first ones to break down most of my barriers so that the "new friends" have it easier...LOL. Sure you have the battle scars, but guess what? You also have my heart and that to me is the most precious thing anyone could ever have!!

Until then dear darling readers...


Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!