Weird feeling

My skin is starting to crawl...

At first, I didn't know why but then I looked at my calendar and there it was..

5...more...days...until...

Black...History...Month!!!!

Oh for the love of beans and rice!!!

SHOOT ME NOW!!!!

*sigh*

I feel a rant coming on. Until that happens...Check out my previous BHM rant done 7 days before Feb. 1st.

Black History Month Rant 2006

Once again let me say that if I mysteriously disappear, it's because the NAACP has captured me...Seriously, come find me. lol

Bus Boyfriend...

So...

I officially have a bus boyfriend.

Bus boyfriends are bus drivers (male of course) who take care of you while you are commuting. In order for one to obtain a bus boyfriend one must:

1. Be cute. Ahem...

Bus boyfriends only zero in on the cute ones. I guess they need someone pleasing to the eye. Sure, there are gorgeous people, but there is a difference; cute people are easier to fall for than gorgeous people. Gorgeous women will capture your eye and cause a stirring in your pants, BUT a cute woman will capture your eye and cause a stirring in your heart.

2. Be charming.

When you think about it, bus boyfriends are stuck on that bus for hours a day driving the same path. It HAS to become tedious. In addition, they are dealing with funky attitudes throughout the entire day also, so if you are sweet and you smile a lot, then they tend to look forward to you riding on their bus because that means for a moment or two, they are going to have someone smiling and flirting with them. They need entertainment and you are their source of entertainment.

3. Be consistent.

Bus boyfriends don't really like it when you start something with them only to leave them. I think it hurts their feelings because then they would have to find another person or hope that you would come back soon. I decided to take a different route on Wednesday. Yesterday (Thursday) when I got on the bus, my bus boyfriend said, "We missed you yesterday!" I'm guessing that he means himself and the bus unless my bus boyfriend has multiple personalities. They will ask you where you've been if you're gone for even a day. Makes a gal feel special...Y'know?


4. Realize that your bus boyfriend is only your boyfriend on the bus.

C'mon, they don't want to marry you. Some of them have wives, girlfriends, KIDS. Then again, I once had a bus boyfriend buy me a birthday card, which was funky. Too bad I was out with my friends that night...He wasn't too happy about that. :-)

So my bus boyfriend...

I met him when I started temping at my current job. He drives the final bus of my night. Usually I'm listening to music so by the time I get on the bus, I'm just bubbly and stuff. lol

It started with us saying hello to each other and me giving him a big smile. Then it moved to us waving at him when I get off of the bus. I always sit in the back, that way I'm in front of the back door and it's easier for me to exit because no one really stands in the back, unless the bus is REALLY packed but that never happens. So before I exit, we look at each other and wave. And no, I don't do a normal wave...Hello he IS my bus boyfriend! I give him a cute smile and do a flirtacious wave, the kind you do with your fingers.

Finally, I knew he was my bus boyfriend when he drove past a bunch of people to stop in front of me. This is the true perk of having a bus boyfriend...Usually when it's FREEZING outside, you don't want to wait while people take their time getting on the bus and choosing their seats...NO, you want them to wait for you to take your time getting on the bus so you can smile and wink at your bus boyfriend before going to your regular seat! Before this started happening, he would stop near me, but never in front of me. I remember telling my roommate that I had to turn up my charm a little bit to take him out of the "bus buddy" category and move him to the "bus boyfriend" category. That took a few days. Bus boyfriends happen so easily...

Yesterday something interesting happened as I exited the bus. My bus boyfriend and I waved goodbye and I walked down the stairs. The bus was at a red light and I looked over at him and noticed that he was looking back at me, (oh wait, he was looking at me first and I tured to look at him) so I smiled back at him. It was dark so I doubt he noticed.

Bus boyfriends look out for you BIG TIME. They become concerned about your safety over the other commuters. If he sees that there will be ice in your path if he parks a certain way he will avoid that. In many cases, the other people will have an icy path unless they are using the same door that you are to exit. Yes I know, it sucks to be the other people, but it's their own faults...They didn't take time out to make this guy their bus boyfriend.

Bus boyfriends sometimes have more than 1 girlfriend, but that's okay, I have more than 1 bus boyfriend because I take different buses. As a matter of fact, I even have a bus girlfriend...But I don't flirt with her...Intentionally.

So in a way, the bus boyfriend relationship is beneficial to both parties. One party gets special treatment and protection while the other party gets a smile, some flirting, kindness, and someone who is helping them to add some flavor to their boring day.

That's awesome when you think about it. I'll think of you all when I see my bus boyfriend tonight.

Until then faithful 4 and others...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Smack WHAT???

This morning started out as the usual morning...

I woke up around 5:30-ish because I decided to give myself a 1/2 hour grace time.

I took my shower but before hopping in, I turned on the radio. While getting dressed, there was a song that I had never heard before but it had an awesome beat, so I chose to ignore the lyrics and just dance. Well let's just say I got "smacked" by the following lyrics:

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.

Up front style. Ready to attack now.
Pull in the parking lot slow with the lack down.
Convicts got the whole thing packed down.
Step in the club. The wardrobe intact now.
I feel it. Go on and crack now.
Ooh, I see it. Don't let back now.
Im'a call her. Then I put the mack down.
Money? No problem. Pocket full of that now.

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.

Ooh! Looks like another club banger.
They better hang on.
When I throw this thang on.
Get a little drink on. They goin' flip.
For this Akon shit. You can bank on it.
Pedicure, manicure, kitty cat claws.
The way she climbs up and down them poles.
Lookin' like one of them Pretty Cat Dolls.
Tryna hold my woody back through my drawers.
Steps off stage, didn't think I saw her.
Creeps up behind me and she's like, you're -
I'm like, yeah I know, let's cut to the chase.
No time to waste. Back to my place.
Plus from the club to the crib's like a mile away.
Or more like a palace, shall I say.
And plus I got a pal. Every gal is game.
In fact he's the one singing the song that's playing!
(Akon!)

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh

Eminem's rollin', D an' them rollin'.
Boo an' Oh Marvelous an' them rollin'.
Women just hoin'.
Big booty rollin'.
Soon I be all in them an' throwin D.
Hittin' no less than 3.
Block will style like wee, wee.
Girl, I can tell you want me, 'cause lately.

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.

Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.

Ummm...I never felt so violated! lol I literally flinched every time they said "smack that." I had a vision of a guy dancing behind me and doing that and that image is SO NOT COOL! I've had that happen before, not on the dance floor but some exes who thought it was cute and that I was going to giggle, but when they saw my face, they realized that it wasn't a good idea. One ignored my looks and did it anyway. He would catch me off guard. Now seriously, why would someone like that???

"I'm going to pretend like I'm your parent and smack your backside because you were bad!"

Okay, okay, sometimes I joke around with people and say, "So spank me...I've been naughty!" But that doesn't mean that I really want them to do it. As a matter of fact if they did do it, there might be a fight. Now the song is in my head and has been since 6 am today.

Moving on...

Sometimes I wish that there was a little microphone in my head so people would hear what I'm thinking. I truly believe that the thoughts in my mind are absolutely hilarious! As a matter of fact, sometimes I say them out loud only to get looks of surprise and stifled giggles. Like today...

Scenario 1:

I get on the bus to find that not only is there one baby carriage but there are 4! 4 baby carriages...Blocking the way to the back where there are mad empty seats. 4 baby carriages, 5 loud mothers, 4 babies and 1 toddler. My outside voice said, "Eh, I'll stand."

But my inner thoughts?

"Oh look, ignorance is breeding again. None of this would happen if my plan to have people fill out applications to be parents were approved. Those women would be temporarily have their tubes tied until they are able to have kids and raise them respectfully. (WARNING!!! What I'm about to say next is VERY mean) Perhaps if they spend more time being courteous and less time spreading their legs, they wouldn't be 20 years old with 2+ kids. (Okay, sometimes the inner voice is mean too). I'm not going to swear...I'm not going to swear...I'm not going to-Oh look! A seat! MINE!!!!!"

Scenario 2:

*Quietly reading a book*

Inner thoughts:

"Man, bras suck sometimes! I so wanna fix myself but if I do then some guy would end up looking my way and he'll think that I'm hitting on him! When I see a man adjust his crotch, I don't think he's trying to seduce me. If anything, I think...'Okay so I'm NOT shaking your hand!' So fine, I will sit here with this under wire poking me and most likely uneven boobs. I'm SO glad I'm wearing a coat right now. Hmmm...Maybe I can fix it? Nah, I won't. It's just not worth it..."

Okay, so that one was TMI but whatever...It's not like some of you gals had to deal with it.

TANGENT ALERT!!!!

I was thinking about this while using the bathroom...lol.

Okay, the one thing that I REALLY hate doing at the doctor's is peeing in a cup! I'm only talking about this because right about now, I feel like I'm the ONLY one with this experience but I bet others have felt the same way...So as usual...I'll put myself out there. Eh, who cares???

Peeing in a Cup:

I HATE doing it! I hate it more than I hate the gynecologists! Hmmm...Notice that both deal with a certain area? Okay, I won't go there...

Anyhoo...The reason why I hate peeing in a cup is because I've had so many bad experiences!

1. I hadn't had to do it in a long time so when the nurse handed me the cups and alcohol wipes, I thought that the wipes were given to me because I needed to wipe down the cup after I used it. So I did it...Wiped the cup down and I handed it into the nurse. Well, I received a letter stating that my sample was contaminated and I didn't know why until I explained it to my mom who laughed at me and told me that I did it wrong.

2. Well I went back to give a new sample...*sigh* I filled the cup and as I tried to bring the cup out, I smacked my fingers on the rim of the toilet and knocked it back in. lol I'm not sure that I swore...But I'm pretty sure that I was close to it.

3. One time while bringing the cup out it fell...In my pants...

Luckily for me, there wasn't much in there.

4. Set it on the edge of a sink...It fell in the sink.

So...Do you see why I hate it so much?! Why does the cup have to be so little??? Why can't they give you like a plastic bowl like thingy? Why can't they rig up something so that all you have to do is set the bowl there and let 'er rip? lol

Is that so hard??? I don't think so! The way I see it is...These folks look forward to torturing us...Well women because I doubt men have a hard time. All you have to do is set your junk in there and release. (Man...I'm SUCH a lady!) lol

TANGENT ALERT!!!!

Can I be a bit honest here? (As if I haven't been already)

Why is it that when I meet other folks who aren't my race they find the fact that I rock my hair naturally so cool, yet when I encounter other black folks I'm told to get a perm or that my hair is nappy (which is a derogatory word...Considering that I can run my fingers through my hair without them getting stuck)?

I hate perms. I had one when I was younger because my mom didn't want to do my hair but I felt like my hair was dead. It didn't match me at all. I had to spend more time doing it and I so didn't like that so I ended up wearing bandanas and hats to cover it up. Now that it's all natural and curly, I love it! I can do more with it now than I could when it was straight. I'm not knocking those who have perms...All I'm saying is, stop sweating my natural look! ;-) It takes a certain person to pull it off and baby that's ME!

YES ANOTHER TANGENT!!!

I decided that I didn't want to be black anymore. And no, I don't want to be white or any other race. I want to be my own color. If there was a way that I could tint my skin another color I would...I wouldn't let just anyone be this color. This color would go to those who are tired of the racial lines. You might say, "Well Max, if you change your color, then you would be creating a new race therefore enhancing the racial lines instead of demolishing them." To that I say, not necessarily. You are what you identify yourself as and what you allow others to identify you as. I wouldn't let anyone try to create a new race out of my experiment. When filling out surveys, we would put the race that we were born as to head off confusion or a label.

I'm just tired of my race...Anyone else tired of theirs?

Let me know...I'm looking to form a posse...lol.

Until then faithful 4 and others...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

I SO wanna crawl back into bed!

Eh...It's only 9:30 am and I am already regretting leaving my house. Have you ever had one of those days? First, *rolls eyes* it began when I got on the bus. Of COURSE my favorite people with the baby carriages were on there but what makes matters worse is the fact that one of them was taking up 3 seats...So I had to stand...While she took up three seats. One for herself, one for the blankets that she uses on her child and the third one was blocked by the carriage. Three seats...*sigh*

I'm not even going to sweat it. I'm going to leave my revenge up to karma or the seeds that she sowed today by being inconsiderate towards me and other people.

Today I also fell...lol. Wait...Before I get into this, let me address a few folks:

Scott: Don't worry, I'm fine, I swear.

Mom: I know, I should pay attention when I walk.

Kelly: Shut up. (She's cracking up at this)

Everyone else: I'm sore but okay.

Now here's the story:

I was walking to work and it's not slippery at all. It's snowing and stuff but the cobblestones in Downtown Boston didn't prevent me from walking normally. I got near my building and I made the mistake of walking over a metal plate (normally I avoid them). I took a few steps before I fell. Forward...For those who want to know. I ALWAYS fall forward...lol.

I guess one guy saw me fall. He came out and helped me out. Nice guy, cute too...But trust me, I wasn't thinking about that. I got to work and at first my hands hurt a bit, but now my knees are starting to bother me a little bit. Eh, so are my arms and my ankle...lol. But I swear that's it. Nothing says, "WAKE UP" like a fall in the morning.

Now...I must excuse myself. I have to pop some pills.

I'm fine, I swear. I'm not hurt...Nor is my pride. Though my clothes are a bit stiff (the salt that they put on the ground to melt the snow and to prevent ice).

Until next time faithful 4 and the rest of y'all!

Love, Peace, and Hair grease!

Expression Through Song

So I'm kinda agitated this morning and I need to vent. I figured that the best way to get out my agression would be to exercise my creativity. So I am going to express my annoyance through song.

"Annoying Things" (Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music")

Babies in buses with very huge carriage
Mothers with 2 or 3 kids without marriage
Actin' all ignorant and talking 'bout bling
These are a some very annoy-oying things!

Staring at me with faces fill with 'tude
It's 9 degrees outside and that killed my mood
Kids only babies yet they're wearing gold rings
These are some very annoy-oying things!

Talking real loud filling the air with clutter
My presence they see and they all start to mutter
Can't beat them in public so I quietly sing
These are some very annoy-oying things!

When it's freezing
When I'm cranky
When I'm feeling mad
I simply remember annoy-oying things
And um, I still feel soooooo mad!

*giggles*

Now I feel better!

Until next time faithful 4 and others...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!

More pics 2....

Angry Troll: The Ending

So...

My nephew, Isaiah, was picked up today around 11:00 am. I'm surely going to miss him but he left me a little something...

His cold.

Darn kids. Seriously, I think that if they drop their pacifier and it gets dirty, then they shouldn't get that pacifier anymore. I shouldn't have to clean it off using my mouth! My mouth isn't self-cleaning! I can feel the itchiness in the back of my throat, my nose, and the roof of my mouth. Good times...

Also, I learned a few things about Angry Trolls:

1. They HATE getting their hair done. Kelly (my roommate and I) had the most horrible experience with Mr. Isaiah during bath time when Aunty Max decided to wash his hair. Let's just say three people were soaked when they walked out of that bathroom. He started screaming and crying. And I'm sorry, but when a child looks so pitiful and they reach up to me, I HAVE to pick him up but he wasn't finished with his bath. So I held him as Kelly draped a towel over him, the heat was turned on, and the door was closed. *sigh* It broke our hearts so much that we swore we would NEVER do his hair ever again, unless it's shaving it off because little boys who HATE to have their hair done shouldn't have long hair. OH wait, correction...Little boys shouldn't have long hair! lol I had to put his hair in afro puffs and let me tell you, his mother liked it. Even talked about doing it herself to his hair. Poor Isaiah...It's my fault that you will end up looking like a little girl, but then again...I hate cornrows on men, so I couldn't take looking at his hair any longer.

2. Absolutely hate naps! They can be dead tired, fussing, falling all over the place but if you lay them down, they will start hollering! Where do they get the energy from?!!?!?!?!??!?!

3. If you tell an Angry Troll no, they will try to make you jealous. Sheesh, he would go straight to Kelly and cuddle with her. Eh, I can't blame him though...I think I would do the same thing if I were him.

4. If an Angry Troll has a cold, you have a cold. I'm waiting to see if my roommate has a cold. Seriously, I don't know how many times we had to stop that boy from eating his own snot. Then for his Aunty, of COURSE he wanted to share his pacifier with her, so I took it.

5. No matter what, Angry Trolls will smile for the camera...Well except when he was crying.

6. When they leave, you will miss the Angry Troll. :-)

4 days and 3 nights down...None to go!

Faithful 4 *winks*

Everyone else *nods head*

I have to go and take care of this cold...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

2 days down...1 to go...

Why does Isaiah look like a troll doll when he cries? I try my HARDEST not to giggle but deep down inside I find it amusing. I guess today was a "hissy fit" day. He's overly tired or overly rested, I can't tell (what? It's not like I have kids!!!) but this morning he was swatting at me. Then he would cry. The afternoon he was lovey dovey, but then he would cry...And J.Timberlake help me (sorry, it's cracking me up) if I try to wash the boy's face or clean his nose.

When he cries he sounds like he's saying "Oooooooooooooooooooow!" His little face begins to turn red and if he had cat ears, they would be pointing down. Since he's usually on my lap or on the bed or in a baby grip (don't ask) I'm always looking down at him. He's just adorable.

Okay, well I put the tub tying places on speed dial. I think after this experience, they are going to get a lil phone call. As I look around my room...I remember when it used to look like a 28 year old lived here and not a 1 year old. lol

I am still determined to win this battle! I will be victorious.

Oh and by the way, my "mom" muscles are getting an awesome workout. Today he got benchpressed several times. Maybe I should borrow kids just to work out my mom muscles. That might be fun.

Well he's napping now, I'm sorry, but if a baby is fussing and crying for no apparent reason...
If their eyes are droopy and they can barely stand...

I don't care if it's their 3rd nap of the day, they are going down!

"Oh but Max, he's going to sleep later."

Not really. You see, I run him around like crazy. That makes him sleepy. That makes me free.

I have stuff to do before the angry troll wakes up and that includes changing shirts. lol

Until then faithful 4 and others...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

Eyes her cellphone with a gleam in her eyes.

Don't think I won't do it!

More pics...

Takes after his Auntie I see!

Isaiah

Okay...

So the first round goes to me. I tired him out and then put him to sleep. It was a good job if I say so myself, but now he's getting his energy back while I sit here yawning. Sheesh, this is what I get for only having 3 hours of sleep while taking care of my 1 year old nephew. But don't worry...

When he wakes up...It's on! I'll give him more fruit, play with him until he's tired again, but this time I won't have him go to sleep until his bedtime at 8 pm. That's when babies get the TKO! Hot bath, pjs, warm bed...They can't resist that. Hmmm...This is easier than I thought. His mom dropped him off, he didn't freak out, which is strange considering that he wasn't used to me. But so far, I've received 3 hugs and 3 "pick me ups." You know...the one where they lift their arms up?

I have him the ENTIRE weekend and so I think my blog should center around him. Look at that punum!!! Why shouldn't it?!

Okay, I have to go...I think he might be waking up soon.

Round 1 Winner: The Aunty!!!!

Don't get me wrong...I know I have a few more rounds to go, but I'm waiting for him to wake up so I can catch my second wind.

My motherly feelings are kicking in...

*Starts twitching*

Oh crap.

Until next time 4 faithful readers and others (Who constantly surprise me everytime)

Love, Peace, and Hair grease!

Oh and Baby shoes...