When Friends Betray

So here I am...

I was more upset a 1/2 hour ago but after some singing/dancing, I'm better. Much better. So now it's time to process and since I have a blog I was either going to process here or in my journal. Then I realized something...

I haven't written in my journal in AGES. So here I am...

Tonight I had a friend betray me, but I think that what bothers me the most is I knew it was going to happen. What's worse?

1. Not thinking that a friend would betray you and it happens.

2. Knowing that your friend will betray you and it happens.

It's the second and I know that is what has pissed me off at this entire situation. Oh wait, the situation...

Okay, so a guy who supposedly calls me his sister has a girlfriend. A recent person who has made him happy...I'll admit that as a "sister" I'm overprotective and I personally...Well let's not get into personals, but let me say this, I was all for him finally finding happiness.

Anyways, tonight his girlfriend took something that I said too serious. I'm used to that to be truthful. It happens all the time. I don't take life seriously nor do I take myself that way either, but there have been times when folks took me seriously when it's not even like that. Let me say this, if I wanted to take something seriously and if I didn't like a person, I'm not the type to lie about it or to smile in someone's face. My friend once brought a girl around me that she KNEW that I didn't like. While the girl was in the other room, I asked my friend why she brought that child around me. When my friend got embarrassed and asked me to stop it, I replied, "You know I don't like her! What is she going to do kick my butt? I don't think so!"

So yea, I'm brutally honest. But you know what? Allow me to be brutally honest right now, ya dig?

The more I thought of this situation, the more upset I got...The fact that I'm helping out with a stressful job isn't helping but when I'm right...Then I'm right. I am big enough to admit when I'm wrong, but in this situation I am not wrong. So while I'm thinking this, I started to get more and more upset, why?

BECAUSE I KNEW THAT NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW RIGHT I WAS IN THIS SITUATION, MY SO CALLED FRIEND WAS GOING TO TAKE HIS WOMAN'S SIDE.

Yet he's known me longer. So first he came at me in a blaming way, like it was my fault because he wants to protect her. If I were a stranger, that's one thing because you don't know where I'm coming from...

But I'm your supposed "sister" and I use quotes because right now I don't think I will ever feel like that again. I've had situations where I had tiffs with my male friends' girlfriends. When you have close guy friends, that's going to happen. In one situation, before going to check on his girlfriend, my friend Tony checked on me first. I was fine and I told him to go check on her because I had to get over my anger. That friendship was salvaged because he played his cards right but then again, Tony really treats me like his little sister. So instead of making me the bad guy to appease his girlfriend, he was truly a mediator.

Not in this case. In this case, I knew that he was going to jump to her side. I knew that he was going to piss me off. I knew that I was going to get betrayed and because of it, I started to get more and more angry. By the time he pulled what I knew he was going to pull, I was ready but since my anger was already elevated, I exploded. I cursed him out a little bit...Well more in my head, but I got upset to the point where I started to shake. Hell, I can feel my body tensing up right now. Remind me to meditate.

The funny part is through all of this...I'm still not going after her, yet she claims that I go after her all the time. Remember what I said about honesty?

Don't you think that if I was going after someone, they would know? If you don't know that answer, find someone who truly knows me and then ask them. (Uh, Harry take my word for it. lol) So where do I go from here?

Well, it's not like I really went out of my way to talk to her, but now I really don't feel the need to do it. I told him that if she steps to me then it will be on, it's just that simple and that I have the need to show her what it feels like to have me after her. For some stupid reason, I still feel the need to respect him so I won't do there.

Why would she do this?

1. Jealousy - It's usually customary for the girlfriend to be jealous of the best female friend because no matter what, that friend is going to stay in his life.

2. Anger - She can't talk to him everyday yet I can. I don't call him all the time but he does call me. Also, we are part of a couple of projects that forces us to spend more time together. Heck, my boyfriend doesn't mind because he comes first and he has first dibs on my time. She doesn't have that luxury.

3. She's a little insecure girl who is probably on her period....

Okay I'm still upset here. I just want to smack her with a snickers bar or something. In the past, I stuck my neck out for her but whatever.

I guess I'm an evil girl who has nothing better else to do than to mess with my friend's fragile little girlfriend.

As if.

As for him (do you think he's going to walk away without nothing?), he's lost something important...

My trust. It takes me a while to open up and it takes me a while to open up completely. I haven't done that with him and now I won't...ever.

I will never EVER ask a friend to choose between me and his girlfriend...I'm the type of person to just leave him with his woman. I don't need new friends. I have all that I need. They tell me when I'm wrong and they stand up for me when I'm right...Regardless of who is on the other side. WIth my man, there have been times when he's flipped out and I've taken him to the side and said, "Baby, you're wrong. You're overreacting. Stop it, you're embarrassing yourself."

Isn't that what a relationship is about? How can you have a relationship if you can't tell the truth?

Speaking of relationship, I told him that one day I'll get over this, but right now I can't stand to look at him. I just don't know how long that is going to last.

How can I trust someone who is going to attack me when their girlfriend overreacts?

I can't...

So this will get interesting.

Okay Faithful Five (And all the rest...Especially YOU, how could you do this to me? You truly TRULY hurt me and I'll never forget this.)

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease.