I'm Normal...it's the WORLD that's CRAZY!!!

Pride?

2009-05-19T19:55:00.003-05:00

"You don't ask for help...You're so proud!"

"You are a lone ranger."

"You are so anti-social."

"You are the only one in the family who doesn't have a traditional family frame of mind."

I hear this a lot. Those statements make me think:

Just because I don't ask for help, how does that make me proud? I may not come out and announce to the world that I need help but that doesn't mean I'm not quietly asking for help from those who can help me. How does that make me proud?

How can a lone ranger have as many friends as I do?

Anti-social? I'm sorry, when you work with a bunch of people and you're constantly talking and moving, when you get home, the last thing you want to do is talk...How is THAT anti-social?

If my two older brothers are into the traditional family and I'm not, what happened during my life? Could it be that they always had their father around whereas mine was MIA? That's a possibility...

Everyone has a thought about who we are. It can come from a first impression or it could come from the side that we choose to show them, but does that make it valid? Is it accurate?

In many cases it's not.

Yet people constantly like to say those things to me...

And they wonder why I ignore them or stare at them with glassy eyes or with my mouth opened.

Pfft...

I see how this works...

2009-05-14T13:31:00.002-05:00

A few days have gone by and I haven't written in my blog but there's the thing...

I've THOUGHT about writing in my blog...

I've even thought about topics. I had some ideas about what I do care about:

1. Teens
2. Female weight issues --For lack of a better term

There's more and here's the thing...

I'm not passionate about those topics. Sure, I like talking to teens and if there is any way that I can help them get on the right path, then I will, especially the little girls. When I was a teen we had positive and negative messages in our faces but sheesh, it was the 90's so the majority of the images seemed to be positive while now, EVERYTHING seems to have a negative connotation...

As for the 2nd one, I'm just tired of seeing the media harp on weight loss/gain especially in the female actresses. I know, they are in the public's eye, but good grief, that's their life...Their bodies, and not everyone is meant to be a petite woman.

Some of us are blessed with gorgeous curves and we should rock them proudly. I remember the night that I got pissed at Conan O'Brien and honestly I have never been upset with a night time host, ever, but the way that he kept harping on Kristie Allen's weight gain...

I was like, ENOUGH! Since then, I haven't watched Conan loyally.

With a normal woman, if you gain weight, you can easily abstain from taking pictures. If you are a celebrity, everywhere you go there is a chance that your picture will get snapped. So they get to see images of themselves in the magazines and honestly, I swear that the magazine editors pick the worse pictures of these women just to humiliate them more!

So guess what happens? These women go through drastic measures to get their weight back down just so they can end public ridicule.

I know that you are saying that these are grownups and that ultimately they have the choice to say no but then they come up with articles on:

"How I lost 40 pounds in 1 Month!"

Or even:

"I felt so fat so I went from 120 to 104!"

Who reads magazines? Who are affected the MOST by these images?

(See #1)

Hmmm...Perhaps I am a bit more passionate than I thought

Me and Documentaries

2009-05-06T09:55:00.002-05:00

There are many good things about being a freelance writer, the main thing is when I want to take a break, I can take a break from working. Right now, I'm watching When the Levees Broke a film created by Spike Lee. It is about the New Orleans residents after Katrina. (The following blog isn't about this documentary)

Normally I am not allowed to watch documentaries because I always get upset. When I get upset, my boyfriend has to deal with the mood so I allow for him to tell me, "Baby, you are not allowed to watch documentaries anymore." Notice that I said "allow."

There was once a time when I was passionate about everything. I wanted to change everything! I wanted to right all the wrongs in the world but something happens to people who notice all the wrong in the world...

They don't live. When you're consumed with all that is wrong, it's hard to smile. It's hard to enjoy life because you're thinking, "How can I be happy when there is SO much injustice in the world?!" I'm not saying that we should go around ignorant and happy but in general, we are more valuable to ourselves and others when we are balanced mentally and physically.

Now, without documentaries, I find myself being able to breath easily. Also, it allowed me to take a look at the types of documentaries that I used to watch and I came to a conclusion...

I don't appreciate my feelings being jerked around. You can teach me about your cause without trying to make me mad or sad.

I wonder, if it's even possible? Even commercials go out of their way to either make us very angry or sad. I saw a commercial that is created so we can save the children in poor areas. I watched as they gave a boy a picture of his dead parents and he cried. Wasn't it sad enough to know that this poor boy's parents died leaving him to take care of his younger brothers? Wasn't it sad enough to see where they lived? Wouldn't I want to help him out in based on what I already know or am I SO heartless that I need to see a visual of this 11 year old boy breaking down on screen before I pick up the phone and call?! Why do these people feel the need to toy with my emotions to earn my support for their cause?

The same goes for documentaries. This is why I cannot watch them any longer. My emotions are not available for some stranger to toy with like a canister of play dough.

Peace out,

Max

May 4, 2009

2009-05-04T15:21:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if I'm going to begin my blogs like this, but I'm only doing it this way because I am lost. Should my blogs turn into something serious? Should I keep it funny and entertaining? Should there be a theme?

I only ask these questions because usually when it comes time for me to apply for a writing job, I am always at a loss for writing samples. My boyfriend tells me to use the samples that I do for websites like www.urbaniacs.com and www.popmundo.com but in my opinion, those are fun sites. He didn't understand me until I asked him if he would hand in a doodle for an artistic job that he wanted. He understood. I guess he's a bit biased, but then again, love will do that to you.

Let me tell you how it always goes down when I want a writing job. I write the email or fill out the application. I check it over until I'm satisfied and then I think, "What will I send in for a writing sample?!" I look at my stories and usually I tell myself no. I look at my blog and I think that while it does show off my writing talents, some of my blogs might be scary to those PC loving and using people...

They are the ones who tend to be employed. While the application/email creation takes about 20 minutes to do, choosing a writing sample takes much longer! Sometimes it takes 2 days!!! Then I start thinking about this blog. I think about how I never use it anymore and then I think about how I could use it to further my writing career. I also wonder if I am wasting my time creating blogs like these and if I am living up to my full writing potential...

Do you understand why it can take 2 days?

Finally I wonder if there is something that I could blog about that could help me in this crazy world as well as others. I call this final phase, "Are my talents being used to make a better world or are they being wasted?" Then I ponder that. Usually my boyfriend weighs in and says, "You should start podcasting and writing more! Write about something that you care about a lot!"

That causes a few more hours of thought because I'm not sure if I care about things anymore. When I was 20, I was passionate about EVERYTHING. I'm overexaggerating. Not everything but I was always doing something. Now at 30, I wonder if I am still passionate?

Maybe that should be my discovery. I can't write or speak about anything unless I am passionate about them.

It is time to find my passion! You can help if you like but only if you have constructive things to say. If you don't, please move on! lol

Peace!

Maxi

Patriotic, pt. 2

2009-04-30T22:39:00.001-05:00

A long, long time ago, some of my ancestors came from Africa. I say some because through the years, my blood line has become mixed with a plethora of other races and because of that, I must respect the non-African races.

When my ancestors first arrived here, they were African. (FYI - I'm not going to go into slavery. What's the point? If our ancestors didn't want to behave as if they were slaves, then why do most blacks keep pushing that title on them?)

That's right, they were Africans who lived in America. They had strong ties to their Motherland because they were stolen from there. Soon, they had their own kids. Those kids became Africans who were "trained" to be Americans.

I use the word "trained" because history shows us that when the slaves arrived to America, they weren't allowed to speak their language or even carry on their traditions, but when something is so engraved in your head, it is hard to break your habits when you are doing them subconsciously so I say "trained" because the children saw what their parents were doing but they also knew that they would be punished if they were caught. I believe that these were the first African-Americans because they still had a tie to the Motherland of Africa while developing new ties to their new home, America.

Let's fast forward A LOT. Down to me. I have no ties with Africa. I have no idea where my bloodline originated, you know since Africa is a continent and not a country. I have no clue about the politics in Africa, besides what I read in the news about all the genocides and famine that happens there. When I open my eyes, I see, "America" around me. I know all of the patriotic songs. I can say the "Pledge of Allegiance" and when I go to a foreign land, my passport says that I am American.

So that is what I am. I am an American.

You look at skin and you want to call me an African-American but I will not accept that title. It seems as though many blacks want to hold onto that title as if we still have strong ties to the Motherland, but we don't. Even if you look at a holiday like Kwanzaa, you will see that it is a sad attempt for blacks to pretend that our African roots are strong.

Did I upset you?

When I was in college, I remember there was this sister from Africa. I remember seeing her break down in tears because she saw so many things that was wrong with the typical Kwanzaa celebration. She cringed when she heard words being misused. She screamed when libations were poured. She was very upset! She told us all, that Kwanzaa was a made up holiday that stole bits and pieces from different African holidays.

Why should I believe her?

Look at the history of Kwanzaa. Look at when it was created. It was in the 60's. By then, the African blood in us was so diluted thanks to being force fed American doctrines that any of the ties that we had to Africa were loosened. The holiday was created to give Blacks an alternative to celebrate in the month of December so if they wanted Blacks could ignore Christmas and participate in a holiday made just for them.

Now, in the 60's what did we have going on? You had Black Power movements, Black Nationalism, all types of events created to help blacks become proud of their heritage while separating themselves from the main culture. In my opinion, Kwanzaa is a holiday that blacks get to hold over whites and say, "Ha ha! This is OUR holiday! BITE ME!"

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa, I never will.

I stopped being an African-American even when I hated the fact that I was American, but where would I go?

Back to Africa?

Uh, no. I would feel out of place there!

So let me break it down like this...

I feel like African-American means that I'm a 2nd class citizen. It was the government who set out to label blacks so that only a percentage of their vote would be calculated.

I am a full-blooded American which means I'm a first class citizen like everyone else! If you don't like it, I don't care!!!

If you think that I'm a sellout because I feel this way, then oh well.

I'm an American...

...And nothing else.

Peace out.

Max

Thoughts...

2009-04-30T14:27:00.003-05:00

I know that it's been a while. As I look at my first sentence I wonder how many times have I had to type that? A lot has been happening lately. Some good, some bad, but all in all, I'm still here so that makes me a survivor, right?

No, I won't bore you with my rendition of D.C.'s "Survivor."

I was thinking today and the one thing that I would hate to lose is my ability to write. You may say, "Max, you can't lose it!"

Yes you can. You can lose any talent if you don't utilize it. I don't want to lose this. It's too valuable. So while on the bus today, I was thinking...

Hmmm...If I set aside 15 minutes to blog everyday, then my blog will continue and I will be utilizing my talent for my own benefit and not just for the benefit of the companies that currently employ me. Don't get me wrong, money pays the bills, but I think every artist should set aside time to indulge in their art, alone...

Even if it is a blog where people can your thoughts.

So, since this is my personal blog, let me start out with saying that there will be a few more blog entries. First, I have to finish my Patriotic series. Then I will move on to shed some light into what I've been thinking and doing...

Do you want to come along for the ride?

Patriotic, pt. 1

2009-01-27T16:44:00.008-05:00

Before you start to believe that President Obama is the main reason why I feel patriotic, let me back up a little bit and tell you where it started. You see, this summer, I lost my grandfather to cancer. It was a hard hit...A VERY hard hit, but in his passing so many memories of him came to mind. He was a WWII Vet who was very proud of his American heritage. I remember in the 6th grade we had to do a project on interviewing a WWII Vet and I was so afraid because I thought that I didn't have one. I thought that because I was black there couldn't be a member in my family who fought in that war. I came home and told my mom that my teacher said that I should go to a nursing home and interview someone there. My mother told me that my grandfather and great uncle were both Vets and that they both served in that war. All it meant in the past was a relief because I didn't want to go and interview strange old people...Hey, I was in the 6th grade, sue me...But now I can see the significance of that event in my life.

So with his passing, my brother, who was also in the military, got my grandfather a military burial. Since they were both in the Navy, my brother got to accept my grandfather's flag. I had never seen a military burial in person, I only seen them on t.v. but it was more moving in person. It even had a bugle player.

She played, we huddled together for warmth, and all I could do was think and hug my other brother close because he was in tears. I mean, for years I refused to salute the flag, say the Pledge of Allegiance, or even stand during the National Anthem. I was upset with this country and with "W" stealing the office TWICE, I was sick and tired of being American although I knew that no one else would take me and (I know I'm going to make some enemies by saying this):

I am NOT African!

Sorry, but I look down at my light skin, I listen to stories told by my grandmother and remember stories told by my grandfather. I am a mix bag of African, Indian, Chinese, European, and whatever else is on the side of my sperm donator (Some of you may call that person your father, but believe me, this guy doesn't deserve that respect), but that just makes me an American. Hence the reason why I dropped the "African" a long time ago (but more on that in part 2).

On that day in October, we watched as the two officers of the Navy folded up the American flag that was drapped over my grandfather's coffin. It wasn't an African flag...Nor was it both flags, no, it was the flag of the country that he put his life on the line to protect. I felt so proud watching it. I felt so grounded for some reason. I didn't feel different from other Americans. In some ways, it solidified my connection to this country and other proud Americans. Now, let's go to another country and make them hate us! No, just kidding. lol

When all was said and done, when the flag was folded up, when the tears stopped falling, when the fact that it was chilly outside left our minds, it was just us staring at that coffin and watching the woman walk over to my brother in slow motion. She stood in front of him, she saluted him, he later told us that he couldn't return the salute because Navy protocol states that if you aren't in your uniform, you can't return the salute. She whispered some words to him, we couldn't hear it, I couldn't see her lips because her hand was covering it. All I know is Donnell looked serious. He held the flag close to his heart and I felt my eyes water up, just like they are right now. How I managed to snap a clear picture, I don't know. I guess I'm just an awesome photographer!

It was there when I realized that sometimes being proud of who you are isn't necessarily about what's going on at the present. It can be about the past and those who gave their lives for your country. It can be about the survivors who share stories with their children/grandchildren. They saw horrors that we couldn't imagine. Sights that would make all the gore that we watch in horror movies become obsolete. My grandfather was on a ship that swept for mines. He was the only black man on the ship and he says that he didn't notice because everyone treated him with respect. Fifteen men on his ship died one day when one of the mines went off but he and the rest of the survivors were picked up by another ship. If he was one of the 15, who knows what would have happened to me.

It's weird how events in our lives can cause us to change how we think and feel. All I know is I miss him. I miss him a lot. He was the only grandfather that I had and now I have none. Out of respect and love for him, I will have pride in my country, not to the point where I become unbearable to non-Americans, but there is nothing wrong with some pride, ya dig? I love him...I miss him...I doubt I will ever get over that.

Stay tuned for part 2!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Patriotic?

2009-01-21T23:51:00.002-05:00

What a difference a day makes...

Seriously. I watched one person leave the White House and another one enter. Eight years ago, when I was in college, I was SO angry because I felt that the election was stolen. That hardened my heart towards this country. Four years later I was sitting with a bunch of college students, as a grad student, when that anger grew because once again, I felt that the election was stolen. I began to wonder about the purpose of voting? Why vote if someone could come along and take the election anyways?

It's not about the fact that he's black. It's not about the fact that he actually had to work his way to the top and not rely on nepotism. It's not the fact that he spent time in Boston earning his law degree. Those are the icing on the cake because for the first time...

I feel like MY vote counted! That I was able to help choose the next President of the U.S. I rocked the vote and it made a difference! I'm not putting my faith in one man...He's only human, but thanks to recent events...

I feel as if a dark cloud no that's too cliche. I feel as though the gray bubble that was surrounding me for 8 years has been popped!

*smiles*

I am an American and I am proud of it. The next few blog posts will explore what that means to me! *winks*

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Mmmmmm...Christmas

2008-12-22T19:03:00.002-05:00

As usual, I not really into Christmas. I'm not like Scrooge, it's just that I never really had one of those family Christmas sessions. My boyfriend has the family Christmas sessions so I know that I'm going to be pulled out of my shell when we get married. Opps, did I say the 'm' word? Yea, I did but not so fast! Don't start talking wedding dresses with me yet. Seriously.

Anyways, my spirit is a little Christmassy this time around because the last few months of this year were quite shaky. I lost my grandpa to cancer. A week later my mom went in to have a cancerous lump removed from her breast. Now she is going through chemo which makes everything taste gross to her, but I'm sorta jealous of her because she's been snacking on ice cream and pudding. Darn her! lol

I guess for this time around, I feel blessed. As usual, I'll be spending Christmas alone because my mom needs to get her rest. But I am happy to have her. The trippy part is...

I am so happy to be 30 years old. I feel as if my world is opening up and things are beginning...

But as I get older so does my mother. She seems more mortal now. There was a time when she was Super Woman...Able to Spank 5 Kids with a Single Belt! lol

Now, she's getting older and that leaves so many doors open. I'm afraid of some of those doors, y'all.

So with happiness in my heart I wish you all a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a Blessed Kwanzaa, and whatever celebration that you deal with I hope you have a good time!

Until next time you crazy readers!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

DISTURBING!!!!

2008-12-11T19:14:00.003-05:00

You won't believe this but it's true...

I am currently listening to LeAnn Rimes doing a cover of "Purple Rain."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!??!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I'm like stuck, I don't know what to do. It's like a car crash, I want to turn away but I'm just so disturbed that I can't. It just hurts. It bothers me. And she's trying to sing with all of her heart, but it's PRINCE's song!!! The only person who can get away with that is Sinead O'Connor with "Nothing Compares to You" and that is because she did the song BEFORE Prince put it on his album. I guess you can say that Prince did a cover to a song that he wrote for her. Other than that, NO!!!! STOP!!!! You can't cover a Prince song! Especially one from the Purple Rain soundtrack!!!! That's sacred! That's like....

That's like...

William Hung doing a cover of a song from "The Bodyguard Soundtrack!" You may think I'm over-exaggerating and yes I KNOW that she can sing and he can't but it's still a travesty nonetheless and it shouldn't have happened! You just can't take a song like that! Oh man!

I need to go wash out my ears. Pour some bleach in them and let it swirl around, maybe it will help me forget what I just heard...

It's just so wrong...

So very wrong...

Like Donald Trump doing a Play Girl spread wrong...

Okay now I've injured my mind more. I'll stop writing now.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

It HURTS!!!

2008-10-20T15:02:00.002-05:00

It's here again, the one thing that most artists hate...

You have the need to write but it hurts to do so....

That's all I have to report, hopefully this will break soon.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease.

Names

2008-10-07T22:54:00.002-05:00

So, recently my mom told me that we have been pronouncing my cousin's name incorrectly. That it's pronounce Ah-she-a and not Ai-she-a. My cousin is older than me. She's well into her 30's. I inquired as to why her mother allowed for the ENTIRE family to pronounce her name wrong and I found out that it was my fault.

It turns out that when I was younger, I had a hard time pronouncing her name, so it was changed to accommodate my inability to articulate. Interesting, don't you think?

A little child was able to change the way her cousin's name was pronounced! Here's the scary part...

WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME?! What is so hard with correcting a child? No child is able to pronounce hard names. Heck, my step sister for many years called me Mashie. Does that mean that everyone in my family should call me Mashie? That's too much power to give to a child. If I were my cousin, I would have been upset once people started to mispronounce my name! She's about 7 years older than me so that means that at the age of 10, she went from Ah-she-a, to Ai-she-a. Didn't she fight? I would have!

It makes me smile but then again, it also makes me sad. Well not really sad, just confused...

Why wouldn't anyone correct me? Why would they change the name of their daughter just because a toddler couldn't pronounce it? I find this out 26 years later...

Insanity I tell you! Because of ONE CHILD.

Should I be happy because I have some sort of weird unspoken power in my household? Or should I pity her?

Gee whiz...How many of you would allow that to happen? If you were Ah-she-a (I'm spelling her name phonetically)? If you were her mom? Her father? Her older sister?

Good grief!

*sigh*

Unitl next time Faithful Five, etc.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

4:18 am

2008-10-05T03:18:00.002-05:00

It's 4:18 am...

It's been a while since I've written a blog. The last entry was an angry entry. Wow, I was pretty darn angry wasn't I? You know, there was a time when I would hold that anger in? Yup! I would internalize it. That made me a very dangerous person. I was a ticking time bomb. I was also making myself sick. It wasn't until I got to college when I met a few friends who were strong enough to express their anger, that's when I learned that expressing anger was necessary...

But that post is in the past, right? Yup!

Let's move on, shall we?

Are you all going to vote? No, I'm not going to tell you who to vote for. Now will I make a speech about which party is the best...All in all politics is like this:

No matter who you vote for, you will get anally screwed. You have to pick the person who is going to be nice enough to use a condom and lubricant.

Wow, that was pretty graphic and pessimistic, eh?

Yea. I'll admit that it is, but regardless of what you think about my statement, tell me one thing:

Have you EVER met a politician who was completely honest? Sure, you can't please everyone all the time, but as politicians get older and more experienced they tend to forget the people who put them there...

And honeychild, that's on BOTH SIDES OF THE PARTY!

I'll admit that I'm an independent and it's interesting to have a black man running for President because now, if I say that I'm voting for him, then I'm doing so because I'm black and he's black. It isn't because I watch the debates and check out the candidate's websites. No, it's because I'm not smart enough to get to know both sides. It's because I'm being emotional and voting for someone who looks like me as a means to stick it to the white man. It's because I am still looking for my 40 acres and a Mule...

Those who know me answer me this...Does this sound like me? Of course not!

Of course I have seen the people who help fuel these stereotypes. About a year ago, Massachusetts had a black man run for Governor. I worked at the voting polls on that day. There were some people that we met who were very versed in both sides. The ones that stood out were the ones who looked for the black candidate. My favorite was the guy who called me over, pointed to the Governor's name and asked, "Is this the black guy?" I couldn't answer his question because that was the rules, but I was shocked. I mean, why didn't he write down the name? Or at least remember it?!

Does black necessarily mean better? No. I can name several blacks who haven't done much for the American citizens. Notice that I said American citizens and not BLACK PEOPLE? *smiles*

Whenever you elect someone into office, they should be elected because they are going to serve the whole and not one race. There is a lot of talk of whether or not America is ready for a black President, but what does that mean necessarily? Does that mean that having a black man for President is drastically going to change everything. Once he's elected are we all going to go to sleep and wake up in a hip hop video? Instead of coming down to "Hail to the Chief" will he crypt walk to a P. Diddy song? What is going to change? What is the big deal? The only difference will be instead of seeing a pair of blue/brown/green eyes with pale skin and straight hair talking to us on the television, we're going to see a pair of dark eyes, curly hair, and tanned skin. Instead of trying to solve the world's problems by having meetings and peace talks, will he say, "Break yo' self fool!"

Again, I'm not saying who you should vote for, I'm just curious as to how different will things be with a black President? Why can't people look at both candidates for what they stand for and not the color of their skin? Isn't that what Martin Luther King Jr. talked about in his "I Have A Dream" speech?

Will he come on tv with a rib in one hand and a glass of koolaid in another? I can understand of Flavor Flav or some other extreme ghetto person were running for President but that is not the case.

People aren't asking if America is ready for an old President as if McCain is going to be sitting in a rockin' chair with his grandchildren surrounded by him as he retells stories about the good ol' days and the day that grandma forgot to change his depends. He's not going to sit there talking to America while being fed stewed prunes and getting his hair dyed blue by some beauty school reject. He won't walk around attached to a machine that will help him breathe nor would he have a cane that he would shake at those who walk on the White House Lawn.

"DARN KIDS! YOU GET OFF MY PROPERTY! I KNOW YOUR MOTHER! I SAW HER WHEN YOUR GRANDMOTHER BROUGHT HER HOME FROM SCHOOL!"

Sorry, I've been thinking about this for a while now and I needed to get it out. Sorry about my absence, I did a friend a favor and worked at her job for 4 weeks. It darn near killed me but it did kill my artistic flow. They asked me to stay but the stress there was so unbearable that I chose myself and my happiness over a job.

Call me crazy but working yourself to death is the dumbest thing in the world...

It's not worth it! Not in my eyes. My art would die too...Who am I if I can't express myself artistically? No one, I tell you. No one.

4:46 am and I am extremely tired. I shall end this now. Pardon any grammatical errors. I find that the more that I blog, the less I want to edit. I'm lazy. I know. So sue me.

Anyways...

Until next time...Faithful Five and the rest of you guys,

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

When Friends Betray

2008-09-04T21:23:00.002-05:00

So here I am...

I was more upset a 1/2 hour ago but after some singing/dancing, I'm better. Much better. So now it's time to process and since I have a blog I was either going to process here or in my journal. Then I realized something...

I haven't written in my journal in AGES. So here I am...

Tonight I had a friend betray me, but I think that what bothers me the most is I knew it was going to happen. What's worse?

1. Not thinking that a friend would betray you and it happens.

2. Knowing that your friend will betray you and it happens.

It's the second and I know that is what has pissed me off at this entire situation. Oh wait, the situation...

Okay, so a guy who supposedly calls me his sister has a girlfriend. A recent person who has made him happy...I'll admit that as a "sister" I'm overprotective and I personally...Well let's not get into personals, but let me say this, I was all for him finally finding happiness.

Anyways, tonight his girlfriend took something that I said too serious. I'm used to that to be truthful. It happens all the time. I don't take life seriously nor do I take myself that way either, but there have been times when folks took me seriously when it's not even like that. Let me say this, if I wanted to take something seriously and if I didn't like a person, I'm not the type to lie about it or to smile in someone's face. My friend once brought a girl around me that she KNEW that I didn't like. While the girl was in the other room, I asked my friend why she brought that child around me. When my friend got embarrassed and asked me to stop it, I replied, "You know I don't like her! What is she going to do kick my butt? I don't think so!"

So yea, I'm brutally honest. But you know what? Allow me to be brutally honest right now, ya dig?

The more I thought of this situation, the more upset I got...The fact that I'm helping out with a stressful job isn't helping but when I'm right...Then I'm right. I am big enough to admit when I'm wrong, but in this situation I am not wrong. So while I'm thinking this, I started to get more and more upset, why?

BECAUSE I KNEW THAT NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW RIGHT I WAS IN THIS SITUATION, MY SO CALLED FRIEND WAS GOING TO TAKE HIS WOMAN'S SIDE.

Yet he's known me longer. So first he came at me in a blaming way, like it was my fault because he wants to protect her. If I were a stranger, that's one thing because you don't know where I'm coming from...

But I'm your supposed "sister" and I use quotes because right now I don't think I will ever feel like that again. I've had situations where I had tiffs with my male friends' girlfriends. When you have close guy friends, that's going to happen. In one situation, before going to check on his girlfriend, my friend Tony checked on me first. I was fine and I told him to go check on her because I had to get over my anger. That friendship was salvaged because he played his cards right but then again, Tony really treats me like his little sister. So instead of making me the bad guy to appease his girlfriend, he was truly a mediator.

Not in this case. In this case, I knew that he was going to jump to her side. I knew that he was going to piss me off. I knew that I was going to get betrayed and because of it, I started to get more and more angry. By the time he pulled what I knew he was going to pull, I was ready but since my anger was already elevated, I exploded. I cursed him out a little bit...Well more in my head, but I got upset to the point where I started to shake. Hell, I can feel my body tensing up right now. Remind me to meditate.

The funny part is through all of this...I'm still not going after her, yet she claims that I go after her all the time. Remember what I said about honesty?

Don't you think that if I was going after someone, they would know? If you don't know that answer, find someone who truly knows me and then ask them. (Uh, Harry take my word for it. lol) So where do I go from here?

Well, it's not like I really went out of my way to talk to her, but now I really don't feel the need to do it. I told him that if she steps to me then it will be on, it's just that simple and that I have the need to show her what it feels like to have me after her. For some stupid reason, I still feel the need to respect him so I won't do there.

Why would she do this?

1. Jealousy - It's usually customary for the girlfriend to be jealous of the best female friend because no matter what, that friend is going to stay in his life.

2. Anger - She can't talk to him everyday yet I can. I don't call him all the time but he does call me. Also, we are part of a couple of projects that forces us to spend more time together. Heck, my boyfriend doesn't mind because he comes first and he has first dibs on my time. She doesn't have that luxury.

3. She's a little insecure girl who is probably on her period....

Okay I'm still upset here. I just want to smack her with a snickers bar or something. In the past, I stuck my neck out for her but whatever.

I guess I'm an evil girl who has nothing better else to do than to mess with my friend's fragile little girlfriend.

As if.

As for him (do you think he's going to walk away without nothing?), he's lost something important...

My trust. It takes me a while to open up and it takes me a while to open up completely. I haven't done that with him and now I won't...ever.

I will never EVER ask a friend to choose between me and his girlfriend...I'm the type of person to just leave him with his woman. I don't need new friends. I have all that I need. They tell me when I'm wrong and they stand up for me when I'm right...Regardless of who is on the other side. WIth my man, there have been times when he's flipped out and I've taken him to the side and said, "Baby, you're wrong. You're overreacting. Stop it, you're embarrassing yourself."

Isn't that what a relationship is about? How can you have a relationship if you can't tell the truth?

Speaking of relationship, I told him that one day I'll get over this, but right now I can't stand to look at him. I just don't know how long that is going to last.

How can I trust someone who is going to attack me when their girlfriend overreacts?

I can't...

So this will get interesting.

Okay Faithful Five (And all the rest...Especially YOU, how could you do this to me? You truly TRULY hurt me and I'll never forget this.)

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease.

TWITTER!

2008-08-24T00:47:00.002-05:00

Okay Guys!

For those who follow my blog and drop by to be disappointed by my laziness on a frequent basis, I have found this website...

More like my boyfriend begged me to join this so he could test it. But it's called Twitter. If you sign up you can receive messages for when I update my blog. If you don't sign up, all you have to do is go to this page:

http://twitter.com/MShellC

And you'll be able to see if I have updated my blog there. :)

YAY! Now I think this will give me the energy to update this more...It's sorta like a report card. lol

I'll use it to update other things like when I post artwork on Deviant Art or when I put up more of my voice demos. lol

That is all! I'll talk to you guys soon!

Faithful Five...etc...(lol)

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

One question...

2008-08-20T02:55:00.002-05:00

They can create a pill that make the penis grow bigger, but they can't do other things like create a pill that cures AIDS, or Cancer, or Sickle Cell, or Diabetes...

They can talk about celebrities on the News but they can't talk about what's happening in 3rd world countries where their lives are wracked with Civil Wars and genocides...

They can afford to drop millions of dollars on entertainment like movies and sports figures but they can't afford to give our schools money to help boost the quality of education that our kids receive...

They can pay farmers money to NOT plant food and produce fruits/vegetables but they can't feed every single last American...

Why?

Because our government and our people have messed up priorities...

There are many more examples of this but it's 4 am here and I need to sleep. I needed to get these thoughts out because they were bothering me.

Until next time Faithful Five (and the rest of you people. lol)

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

I Don't Understand

2008-08-18T23:54:00.002-05:00

Okay so back to this online website that I work for as an administrator:

I am to the point where I feel physically/mentally drained but instead of allowing them to drain me, I've decided to put some quiet hours into effect. The quiet hours will compose of 90% of my life! lol I'm the kinda person who everyone comes to for advice. So they all come to me for advice...

Now my question is, for a website that is based on hip hop and comic books, why is there a lot of drama?! The majority of the drama lies within one group! I don't understand mob mentalities...I don't participate in them either yet I see people who I respect falling in line like sheep everyday.

For those who don't know me, I am a non-conformist through and through. I am used to working for changes. I see things that I don't like and that aren't effective I speak up and try to help foster some change. I guess cats like me are an anomaly?

Most likely because I see adults on a game site who are unhappy because they want to stay in a particular group. Yes, it is like high school! You have your different cliques but these cliques are based on the typical comic book divisions like Heroes, Villains, Vigilantes, Beatniks, and Nomads. Guess what group I'm in? *winks*

Anyways, I understand folks inability to stand up for themselves in real life...But on a computer gaming site? You would think that being over a computer and interacting with people that you'll never meet would make folks bold, but it doesn't. They become more afraid of standing up for themselves, going against the grain, and even leaving their own cliques.

To me, it's SICK AND INSANE. You may call me judgmental but is the site paying these people's bills? It's not like it's a job that supports you and your families. It's not putting food on your tables so why do you care about what people who don't know you think about you?

I will never understand the complexities of the human nature, but dang it...It is making me sick to my stomach.

Give me a non-conformist any day! To all my non-conformists I say, if I could surround myself with you all, I would! I would put all the sheep to one side of the world and we'll rule the other 1/2. Wouldn't that sound good? I think so!

Okay Faithful Five (and you slackers),

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

(Insert your own title here)

2008-08-07T17:12:00.002-05:00

For those who may not know this, I work on a website. It's a funky site. I started out about 2-3 years ago as a regular member. I wanted to find a place to play cool games and there it was! I got to meet the makers of the site and they were both cool guys so I started to help them out a bit. It started with small tasks and after 2 years, I was finally made an administrator...Which was totally cool in my book. lol

But I'm not here to brag...I sorta need to vent and vent in a hardcore manner. It could be because my sleep was interrupted by a disturbing dream that had me die twice or it could be because, as my friend Gen put it, it's my time o' the month. lol

In either case, I still need to vent. You see, this site started out as a fun kids' site. Adults were there and we liked it because we could regress a lil bit, pretend to be super beings, and interact with each other. Those were the days I tell you. We never took anything to heart and the atmosphere was completely light...We knew each other and the entire idea was, "I KNOW 'Greg' didn't mean that in a serious way because that's not how he is!" The problem is, as the site grew, it became harder for us to get to know each other personally. I know for me, one of my old yahoo instant messenger ids was retired because I had too many people on there talking to me. I could write or create while talking to 5 or more people. It was completely hard, I couldn't take it any longer so I go on there only when people ask me to do so...

But I'm not here to talk about that...

Why is it that adults have to spoil something so innocent? As much as my friends tell me that this isn't true, I still wonder if I'm also part of the problem? When you tease someone you barely know, they are going to take it seriously and explode. In addition, I don't know if you all know this but I can pretty much push anyone's button. I could make Mother Theresa reach out and swing at me...I just have that personality. In real life I don't do that unless pushed to the extreme but on the site, I let my playful nature play...Because it's a game...Right? Well, I don't think most folks know that I'm a very playful person AND I don't know how these folks live...

Some of them *puts on psychologist hat* really seem as if they have a bad life. It's as if people spend their time picking on them so they come to the site to be the big bad person who picks on others. It's their way of sticking it to those who hurt them on a daily basis. Now add my playful teasing nature to this situation...What do you have?

That's right an explosion. In the beginning I was SO careful with how I interacted with folks but they kept poking me playfully. lol But those were people in the past, most of them have left and we even had a few who passed away, which was painful...

At this moment, I'm stepping away from the social aspect of the site. I know...I know..."Max is that POSSIBLE?!" Yes, lol, it is. After grad school, I've pretty much been tamed. I guess it was the 3 years living on my own working full time and going to school full time. If you wanted to get good grades, you couldn't spend too much time socializing...It was nearly impossible! *smiles*

Somehow I blame myself for some of the issues on the site and because of that, I'm going to remove myself. If anyone from that site is reading this, let me ask you something...

If you were a kid and you were reading all of this, what would you think?

I know if I placed myself in their shoes, I wouldn't feel comfortable at all. Heck I would leave a find a child friendly site that didn't allow adults to come play. lol Seriously...

Everyone, including myself, need to think about the purpose of the site and work towards it...If you can't do that, then why are you on an adult site? There are adult sites all over the internet...Join one of those.

Pensively Yours,

Max

2:15 am

2008-07-31T01:16:00.003-05:00

Why am I up? Sometimes you go through things that make you numb at the end. So here I am, clenched jaw, confused emotions, tears in my eyes. I'm angry, I'm PISSED...I've dropped a few f-bombs without guilt...

You claim that you trusted me
But why can't you see what I see?
You brought me close to help your dream
Yet you force me to swim up stream

Makin' it difficult for me to assist
Whackin' me on the head so I won't persist
Perfection isn't my motto it's not what I am
But I'm tryin' give me a break...DAMN!

Tell me how you want things done and ran
Any type of hint would make life grand
Responses to my actions make me feel dumb
And instead of feeling okay, I feel numb

Your commands go against all that's right
When all I'm doing is tryin' to help the site
My funky existence has dropped to hell
My arteries have hardened like on sickle cell

Instead of sleepin' I stay up and think
These situations have put my nerves on the brink
To the point where I wonder if it's smart
To stick around and to finish what I start

Smile nice, purty and follow your mission
And before I make a move ask for permission
It once called to me and now it gives pain
If you wondered why, this should have explained

Now I can sleep. This is the first poem that I have written in a long LONG time...

It bothers me that it was because I was upset. Oh well...

We don't chose when we make art sometimes...It pulls us over and says, "DO THIS NOW!"

...Bye.

2:00 am

2008-07-25T01:00:00.003-05:00

It's 2 am and uh, I'm still up. Well, this isn't new for me. I usually have to force myself to go to bed at a decent time (1 am) but tonight I decided to let myself to go 2 am. (Last night I went until 3 am but yea, I paid the price for that). I'm writing now because for some reason I finally feel free. This entire day I was sorta in a funk, a deep funk that I couldn't break. The funky also came with extreme tiredness and the "I don't give a care" emotions. Now, I feel like I do care. I'm smiling. My mind is clear...

Only for me to go to bed again...

You know what? I miss this blog. I don't miss it because folks read it, no, it's not like that. I miss it because it was my way to get out my thoughts. To put it in a place where I can read back on it and if necessary, use it to make a friend smile. Yes there are diaries and I have about 5 of them, but I share those things with no one...Although I did tell my boyfriend that one day I'll let him read it but I'm not sure if he would want to do so...

I don't care how much people say that they want to know the truth, there are still somethings that we are better not knowing...

EVER.

You aren't lying...You aren't protecting them...

You just don't need to open up that box.

The weird part is, lately the people who I have grown up with are contacting me on Facebook, something I joined because my friend Mark, who's an opera singer, uploads new videos of himself there and I need to be on there so I can have access to them. People from the town of Lynnfield, where I bused to school. (A little history, Massachusetts has a busing program called METCO. METCO took inner-city kids and bused them to the suburbs so while I had a city upbringing, there's a part of me that craves nature...And I think it has to deal with the fact that Lynnfield was surrounded by it. lol)

Anyways, I kept in contact with 1 or 2 people from Lynnfield because while growing up I often stayed over their houses so their family became my family. I still remember Ida's mom, Pixie, looking at the both of us when we were seniors. She had tears in her eyes and she said, "My girls have grown up." She knew me ever since I was in the 2nd grade...Of course I was her child. She was like my 2nd mother...Heck I was lucky! So many kids didn't even have 1 and here I was with 2! My other friend is now going through some hard times. We talk every few years to catch up. She's in NY now, but recently, I found out that her father was dying which to me is HARD to fathom! I remember him being strong. He was a runner. The image that I see of him was that of a physically fit athlete. Her parents were cool too! Very smart! Her brother was a bit nerdy, but I thought he was the coolest guy in the world! If you know me, I think intelligence is awesome and I often cherish that over anything else like looks, charm, money, materialistic things.

Those are the two that I've kept in touch with the most. There are some that I run into every now and then but it hasn't been anything hardcore. When you think about it, when college breaks came, they went home to Lynnfield and met up with each other. I went to Boston and hung out with my Boston friends and all of my college friends who also lived in Boston. The result of that was I grew closer to my group of college friends. Some of them are like my family and 3 of them have helped me through some pretty serious times. Those times when I forgot who I was and did things that make me smack my forehead with my hand. Not sexual things...You perverts...But other things. lol

I guess I'm writing this because now that my funk has cleared I realized something...

I don't regret staying in touch with all of my Lynnfield people. You would think that I would be sad, but no. I don't regret not going to the prom. These are the things that people are told they will regret for the rest of their lives and I don't. I've managed to put them out of my mind and that's okay. lol I don't understand how a prom can make or break your entire existence. I also don't understand people who carry grudges against those who did them wrong in high school. That's the past, you should be a different person. My boyfriend and I had two different lives back then, but somehow I think that if we went to the same school we would have ended up together. He was the geek. lol I was the outgoing tomboy. He claims that all geeks like tomboys. I always had crushes on intelligent guys. I never thought twice about the captain of the football team or anything like that. Heck most of our Football players were tiny compared to the Football players that were at my friends' high schools. Sheesh! Their Football players could eat the ones at Lynnfield for dinner...And still have room for their football helmets...For dessert, duh! lol

Whenever I receive a notice that someone new has added me to their friend's list, I look at the name and I'm confused for a while (not everyone, there are some that I do remember. lol), then I look at their page and I get a shot of nostalgia for a second or two. Then I move on.

You may ask:

"What about reunions?"

I don't do reunions...Once something is over, it's over. I miss it for a little bit and then I move on. I bet that sounds heartless, but that's how some people are and I'm one of them. I live everything to the fullest, without regrets, and then I move on. I don't have the urge to visit anything or go to any reunions, it's like having a meal in front of you. It's filled with different foods. They are all tantalizing! Instead of filling up on one or two food and then wishing that I tried the other ones, I take a small bite from everything, savoring each bite...Letting it roll over my tongue so each of my taste buds are given a turn to experience a different side...

Then, I walk away. I don't need anymore. I've tried everything and now my senses tell my cravings that they have been fulfilled. It's nothing against the food because it was yummy food, but I'm just done with it.

That's how I feel about high school and those memories. Well elementary - high school because I started in the 2nd grade. In each of my adventures, I learn a lot about myself and then I take a few people with me, in my heart, when it comes time to leave.

It doesn't make me heartless...

It makes me, ME! :)

Okay it's almost 2:30 am. I need sleep.

Faithful Five...(do you all still read that or are you all slackers?) *bows head*

Slackers...*sticks out tongue*

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

P.S. I'm too tired to edit this...I will one day. lol

G'night!

Am I?

2008-07-23T22:46:00.003-05:00

People look at me and they think they see all that's me. The funny part is, like everyone else, when I start to explain things...They are shocked. The more I'm comfortable with you, the more you get to see, including the darker parts that I choose to forget. Heck, I often surprise myself when I relive those stories. Why am I bringing this up? Tonight I revealed a story to my boyfriend, Scott. I basically had him speechless and I KNOW we're going to be talking about this for a week because he was in shock. lol He's a good guy, he's been a good guy for a long time. Me? Well, I'm generally a good girl, but there was a time when I forgot my conscious...Or at least ignored it. A lot of things can happen when you ignore that little voice telling you right from wrong. I'm not proud of it, but you know what? It's part of me. It makes me who I am right now. And now, I wouldn't dare do what I used to do.

What did I do?

Well...

It's a secret!

You don't know me like that! *winks*

What is a good person? Is a good person someone who always does right? Or is a good person someone who does bad from time to tome but then finds their way back to the right side with a little help from the deity of their choice?

My past isn't pure...Neither is my present but then again, I'm not going to announce things either. That's just me...

Until next time Faithful Five and the rest of you slackers!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

This one takes the cake

2008-06-05T15:13:00.003-05:00

Yea... Weird Dream Alert

Last night I had a dream. Ready?

First, it started with me hanging out with a few people when my boss from www.urbaniacs.com called me. You see, 3 girls that I knew from college were in a movie and it was the BIGGEST hit of the time so there was going to be like a huge Hollywood party, but in Boston. So my boss, who was the deejay at the party, gave me a call. He was on television at the time and he wanted to inform me that I just won tickets to the event. I was on speaker phone. But before I get to that...

I remember now...I was with my friends in college. We were having a reunion of some sort and the 3 girls came by. We were all chilling and stuff...

That's when it happened. Me and Obama, who I kept calling "Mayor" so I believe that although it looked like Obama, it was actually Boston's Mayor Patrick...Well they ARE friends, right? lol

Anyways...

So when my boss called me right when Obama and I had just met and our lives were threatened by someone that I never saw. All I know is we were running and we got to his limo. Neither of us could go home...So we went to a hotel. Like this hotel was kinda gross and I don't know how but I had suitcases with me. That night we slept in the same bed, nothing dirty happened, and I called my boyfriend the next day. He told me that he didn't like the fact that I slept in the same bed with a different man. Actually he said, "I don't appreciate you sleeping in the same bed with another man." lol

Well Obama and I HAD to leave the hotel so he got a trashy car and he went down to start it while I packed. In my dream, I had SO much to pack! Somehow I ended up with like 2 huge suitcases and a trash bag filled with stuff because I realized that I had stuff in every single last drawer. It was as if I lived there! lol So he drove me to my mom's house. She wasn't too happy to see me but when I walked into her room, my cat, Fajah, was sitting on her dresser in the midst of her perfumes. She told me that I could give him a treat so when I went to grab him I noticed that he lost a lot of weight. Mind you, when I left him with my mom, he put on so much weight! lol He didn't have me to chase him around the house. lol So I gave him a treat that was huge like a cookie so I held it out while he took a bite. All of a sudden it was as if I was feeding a teething toddler because he started chewing weird and every time I put the cookie up to him, he would open his mouth to take another bite even though his mouth was already full. lol After I fed him the rest of the treat, I walked into my mom's room with the ticket that I won from my boss, the deejay. I told her about the event that was happening that night but then I realized that it was 10:17 and the actual even started at 10:00 pm but all the festivities began at 3:00 pm. My mom, who was in her bed and under her covers, told me that it was too late and she didn't feel like getting out of bed.

And that was it. lol

The other night, I had a dream that my roommate and I gave up our town house and moved into this MTV-esk mansion with other people. I can't remember that one too much. I do remember that I got upset with this girl cuz she took the bigger room and had less stuff. She also had 2 beds. One for her to sleep in and the other one...Well I don't think it was for sleeping because it was very old and it looked like the springs broke. lol

I have NO idea what's wrong with me...

But I decided to share. :)

Until next time Faithful Five...And the rest...

Love, Peace, and Hair grease.

Troubled Mind

2008-04-16T13:21:00.002-05:00

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

This day is tiresome. I just want to go home and cuddle up to my man, but instead I'm stuck at work. *frowns*

What makes it WORSE is the fact that I was reading/watching the news. I don't generally watch the news because most of it is filled with idiotic things like B. Spears and her life instead of important things like what's happening to women in places like India or even Africa.

Of course it doesn't. Pfft.

Anyways, I was reading where this girl was invited over her friend's house only to get jumped by 6 girls. Then I started to read other articles on teens getting jumped and on the news, they all had 1 thing in common:

These acts were videotaped and placed on Youtube or MySpace...

The one with the girl I told you about. She claimed that one girl hit her and rammed her head into the wall rendering her unconscious. Once she gained consciousness, there were six girls over her. They took turns beating her. There were 2 guys on the outside keeping watch...

The part that kills me the MOST...Well there are 2 things:

1. Most of the parents, including the ones of the victim, blame YouTube and MySpace.

2. The grandmother who owned the house where the girl was beaten is horrified that she's receiving threatening phone calls and someone scratched her car.

Why?

1. How can you blame a place that was innocently created to give people an outlet to make themselves known and to publish videos about the cool things that they do? YouTube and MySpace didn't encourage those girls to do that. They don't have a HUGE contest telling them to tape the best ass whooping so they can win prizes! NO they don't...

So if anything, it's our current society and in SOME cases the lack of parenting.

2. I'm sorry, grandma, but while you're fretting over phone calls and a scratched car...

A teenager is in the hospital trying to heal thanks to your granddaughter beating the crap out of her in YOUR house.

Am I crazy here? If I did that at my mom's house, she would...Let's just say that I would never DREAM of doing that!!!!

What is this world coming to??? Yes I ended that sentence with a preposition, but I'm too freaked at the possibilities of the future to worry about that at the moment. I want to have kids. I want to have a few of them. Now if they EVER pulled a stunt like this, jail would be the only thing protecting them from me. The part that scares me the most is...

What if they were victimized? The "mob mentality" has been around for ages and it's never going to go away...BUT now you can watch yourself being beaten on public websites. The ENTIRE world can watch you...

How embarrassing...

How cruel...

The parents had to watch the scene where their daughter was beaten.

Gah, my heart is heavy...

I want to tie my tubes so I won't get pregnant. If this is what the world is coming to then I'm sorry, it's not fair to bring ANY kid into this world...

*sigh*

Sorry Faithful Five and everyone else...I'm not ending this in a happy mood, but I feel the need to stress the words that I'm about to close this session with:

Love, Peace and Hair Grease...

TEETH?!

2008-04-16T09:27:00.002-05:00

Besides my smile, there is another thing that I receive compliments on the most and that's my teeth. My lips come in third, hair is fourth. Okay, I don't want to go through the rest of them. Oh by the way, my hair has been hot tamale-ized once again and I'm LOVING IT! lol

So today I was buying some gum. I'm OBSESSED with gum. Oh man! If you bring me gum, I will SO be your best friend! The only problem is, I chew it and then I swallow gum, so I know for a FACT that it doesn't take 7 years for it to digest. Okay...

That was gross! *snickers*

Where was I? Oh yes, buying gum! Orbitz...My absolute favorite gum! Right now I'm chewing their Melon Breeze flavor! :)

Wait...

I was buying gum and talking to the woman behind the cash register. All of a sudden she stopped and leaned forward and said, "You have a nice set of pearly whites there!"

Now, I'm not so impressed with my teeth. Matter of fact, if I'm laughing and someone takes a picture of me, I'm not a happy person. Yet folks find my teeth perfect...

Am I weird?

Well...YES, but I guess it goes to show that we often see ourselves differently...

Dreams

2008-04-16T09:12:00.002-05:00

Man...

I have some pretty ODD dreams!

Last night dream still has me baffled. Okay...

I was in a comedy show. I was a comedian and I was waiting for my turn to go on stage. I was supposed to go second but I was skipped over. By the time I realized that I missed my turn, Bernie Mac was on stage. There was only 1 space left and it was after him. The reason why that space was opened was because no one wanted to go after him. For some reason, I still wanted to try. It was my first time on stage and I hadn't prepared anything so I was going in "Balls to the Walls" mode. lol While waiting for my turn, I kept running different jokes in my head, telling myself stories and cracking up. Bernie Mac ended up using up my time! I was sad, but they told me to return to a different show, so I did. I saw myself go up on the stage, but I woke up before I could even see my act.

That dream was soooooooooooo LONG! It was INSANE! It was like a movie! I could see different acts in my head. I could see myself waiting. *sigh*

Where is an interpreter when you need one? :)

Eh...I feel like writing today, so expect to see a few more of these today!

Okay Faithful Five and the rest of you!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease! :)

Wacha been up to?

2008-03-27T09:10:00.002-05:00

Pardon me. Today is a weird day. Last night I slept for 10 hours and how I feel like someone is sitting on my head. Gee, I hope they...Okay you know what? I won't cheapen this with jokes about gas.

Soooo tired. Okay, I know that most of my friends check this to see what I've been up to in my old age of 29. lol I also know that I haven't been writing here lately...Geez. I suck as an entertainer. Well, it's not like any of you are kicking in loot, so...You get what you paid for...Actually you're getting more than what you paid for. Ugh, I ended that sentence with a preposition but I'm too tired to change it. There it goes again. lol

With all the changes in my life the past 3 years, one thing has remained constant and that's Urbaniacs.com. It was a cool place that I stumbled upon and it's still a cool place to chill. If you DO make it over there, drop by Afro_Chic's place. Tee hee, that's ME! I'm da Mistress of Funk over there and yes I actually work there now. Here's is a picture of an urbopod that we use over there. You can take beats and make songs. The purpose of the urbopod is to give you something funky to look at while you play your music. Iron_Pants (creator of SuperTemps located at www.supertemps.ca), another character on the site, made this one for me. It looks like me! Tee hee!

Okay, I won't kill you with anymore of my rant...heck, friends shouldn't let friends type while tired. Some friends you are! lol

To my faithful five and all the rest of you slackers I say:

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease! :)

Wow

2008-03-05T11:15:00.002-05:00

Hey y'all.

I know it's been a long time since I've posted here. Okay, the last time I posted here was 2007. Not only did I post in December but I got the year wrong in the title...tragic.

My friend Carmen gave me a pouty face and told me that she checks this thing all the time and the entertainer in me kicked in. I hate to disappoint people who support my artistic endeavors. It's just not kosher.

So what am I doing now? I'm sitting at my temping agency waiting for an email. I'm also pondering and thinking that this is all getting old. I have an awesome freelance but I want something more permanent job wise. I mean, I can't hate on being a temp, it has kept me from working in a job from HELL...

But it has served its purpose. Temping has done more than just paid the rent, it's also helped me pinpoint what types of offices I dig, thrive in, or absolutely loathe!

This is my first day here, so I'm not sure how I feel. lol All I know is it's 1/2 hour from my crib so I'm diggin' the commute, but it's not something I want to do forever. First, it's at a college. After I received my masters in higher ed., I decided that I didn't want in on this field. It sounds funny but stop laughing, it's my life. :-P

Eh...

We'll see. *smiles*

Gotta go...

Ciao Faithful Five and my apologies for not being so faithful back...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease! :)

V-Day

2008-01-27T16:24:00.001-05:00

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, questions of what I will want will soon arise. I never know what I want for Valentine's Day and now that I am with a sweet guy who, regardless of how much I protest wants to buy me a gift, I have to start thinking. He claims that he does it because deep down inside I love these gifts and that my wannabe hardcore exterior prevents me from admitting it. He also believes he knows that I know that I want valentines flowers.

This year I think I'm going to go with a company that I have used for years, 1-800-Flowers. In the past, I have used them for other types of celebrations and I even used them once to send a guy a few valentines gifts, but don't tell Scott, it wasn't him! I guess that if I'm going to get valentine's flowers, I might as well get them from a company that offers different types. That way he can be satisfied his need to give me valentine's gifts and I can be satisfied with a non-conformist gift, like an orchid or something like that!

Christmas 2008

2007-12-25T15:33:00.000-05:00

So...

It's Christmas...AGAIN. And I'm chillin in my crib, alone...again. lol

Am I sad? Not really. Once again, I am alone by choice although if I had 1 wish, I would be spending my Christmas with a special person who is in Canada at the moment with his family. *sigh* That's the only sad part. If I let myself get swept up in the feeling, then I will become depressed and I don't wanna be depressed! Depression sucks big hairy greasy pimply smelly monkey balls. I know...I'm such a lady! lol

But it does!

So, what am I doing now? Well, I figured that I should still try to do something special for today as a little treat for me, so I'm trying out new recipes and junk. Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE cooking meals like this because they tire me out. Chop this, season that, stir, stir, stir, simmer, simmer, simmer...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! NO mas!

Other than that, I'm chillin in my night gown and bear paw slippers. Man I love these things!

Oh! So I have a radio show. Yes, I have a radio show! For now, I don't know where it plays because I haven't asked. I haven't asked because they already told me...lol. I didn't wanna look like the ditzy girl. I also have a radio email too! It's itis.eclectic@gmail.com...

For those who knew me in college, it's the sequel to my original show "The Hectic Eclectic Hours." Which is the name that I often call it. But it's cool. It's 1/2 hour show which makes my life a bit easier when it comes to song selection, but also I do a lot of themes on it. This Saturday, I'm going to go in and do a few more shows. The themes of one of the will be, "Christmas songs that are just SO wrong!" lol If you check out the Christmas blog that I did last year, you will see what I'm talking about! I found a few more that bother me. :)

Life has had it ups and downs...Sometimes it seemed as though the downs out numbered the ups...But you know what?

That was a lie! Because no matter how bad things were, I was still taken care of by God. You know...It's been 3 years since I've had a full-time job. What can I say? The job market SUCKS! (See the monkey balls comment)

Yet, here I am...In an apartment that's not my mom's and surviving. For a girl who has been temping and freelancing...

I surely am rich because I could have easily ended up back at home or worse...

On the streets but thanks to divine intervention, I'm not! Which is why I could NEVER be an atheist! There IS a God and if ya don't believe that...

Then I feel for you. Someone once said "Religion is the opiate of the masses," but guess what?

I would rather have a strong faith in a Higher Being who has PROVEN to me that He exists than deal with these times alone.

Oh! Maybe you guys want me to upload some of my radio shows? I'm planning on building a website for my show...When I complete that, I'll just send you all the link...That way everyone will be happy! Yay HAPPY!!!!

Okay, my platanos are smoking...

I bake them instead of frying them to be healthier...

To my Faithful Five and all you other slackers I say...

Merry Christmas

AND

Love, Peace, and Hair grease!

Hair Color

2007-10-24T12:33:00.000-05:00

Dig the new hair color. It's called "Hot Tamale." Yes, yes, YES it's real. *giggles* Kelly dyed it for me this past Sunday. Poor girl. It takes SO long to dye my hair. It also takes 3 dye kits. Oh well...

I'm a hot tamale! *smiles*

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Uhhhh...

2007-10-17T08:54:00.001-05:00

I think I have issues. My dreams are indicators of my issues. Last night I dreamed that my roommate and I were living in a 1 floor apartment which was very spacious. It was night time and I was sleeping because my pet beta fish that was about 30 pounds in my dream was swimming on the floor...But there wasn't any water. Then he died. I walked past him to find that a group of people broke into my apartment and threw a party! They were drinking and everything. They basically trashed the joint. They also knocked my fish out of its bowl. They had also planned to rob us, but since my roommie and I woke up some of them ran away. We caught the leader who looked like Stephen Duff (from "Cold Creek Manor"). We began to torture him and beat him up because we were upset. Oh and for the record, my roommate and I have swore to each other that if someone EVER broke into our apartment we would make them PAY. You think I'm playing, but if I'm in a hospital bed, that sucker will be in one too.

Anywhoo...

So basically we tortured and beat him while telling him how we didn't appreciate what he did to our apartment. In the end, his friends came to save him. I think we were going to beat them too but then...

My alarm woke me up. *smiles*

Oh...

By the way...I have an internet radio show. *smiles*

I don't have a permanent spot yet because I am still in training...But I've uploaded some of my shows...Well my first 4, do ya wanna hear them? If so, I'll paste the links when I get hom. I can't remember...Hmmm...Hold on let me think...

*thinks*

Nope, can't remember it. *giggles*

Well...I'm at work, so now I must act like I'm working. Uh, the book has been stalled but...

My muse is kicking my butt to start it up again, so I don't have a choice. *giggles*

My muse is mean...VERY MEAN and I know he's reading this right now and calling me a bum, but what can I say? I am a bum. *smirks*

Eh...Now's the time to say goodbye to all my Faithful Five...

M-A-X

See ya real soon. (Well if I remember and have the time)

I-N-E

Why? Because I love you! (Well if you're a stranger, I don't really love you because I don't know you)

S-A-S-S-Y!

What? Did you expect for me to spell out my last name?! Pfft!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

New Dream/Haunting Thought

2007-10-04T12:43:00.000-05:00

What happened on October 3rd? Can one of my friends PLEASE tell me? Not my new friends...An old friend. There is something about this date that's ANNOYING me. I feel like I've missed something significant like a birthday or an anniversary...SOMETHING. I checked my past 4 journals last night and there is NOTHING in them. I have been haunted by this day for an entire day and I still don't know what happened or why I'm thinking about this. For some reason I think something significant happened in the year 2003, so please if you know...Help a sistah out!

Weird dream alert:

Last night...It was strange...I had a dream that I was in some meeting about rap music and how it affect America. I believe I was on the opposing side because once it was over, some of the rappers wanted to shoot me and Tupac who was on my side. Didn't I tell you that it was weird?

Anyways...

We were running/hiding throughout the entire building. We needed to get to a certain door so we could leave without being spotted. Tupac had his girlfriend and we had a few other people with us. We were almost caught a few times, but eventually we made our way to safety! Just before we got to the door the guy who I was with...Who didn't really have a name but I suspect I know who it was...wanted to kiss me. So we did. We had our first kiss in the presence of Tupac, his girlfriend, our "posse," and strangers. Then I woke up before we could leave the building. *giggles*

There's another one for ya. And no, I didn't eat a THING! Actually I was hungry before I went to bed. Hmmm...Maybe that's it. That's why I had that dream.

Oh well.

Until next time Faithful Five (and you slackers),

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

MURDER!

2007-09-20T08:13:00.000-05:00

I look down at the bruise on my arm and it points to one conclusion:

The MBTA bus drivers are trying to KILL ME!

No this isn't my regular paranoia that you guys are dealing with so don't even go there! For the past week, I've been on buses with drivers who are literally trying to test the speed limits and buoyancy of the customers! I personally think it's time to incorporate the optional seat belts on Boston buses. I have a bruise on my arm, I have other bruises on other parts of my body and I think those come from the bus too...

Unless I was dancing in my sleep again and bumped into the table or wall.

But wait, this is why they are out to kill me. You see, Boston has this new newspaper called BostonNOW and at BostonNOW you can create blogs to be posted in the actual paper. So I did one making fun of the MBTA's new idea to create a "Smart Card" so Bostonians can use it to take the bus AND buy food and coffee from Dunkin Donuts as well as other places. This is what I wrote to that:

Charlie Smart Card?!
September 6th, 2007 by mshellc

So, according to “Riding Charlie into the Future,” pretty soon my little bus pass will be able to buy me things like coffee, donuts, etc...

What’s next? Will my Charlie Card offer me health insurance? Speaking of insurance, how about instead of figuring out new ways to convolute my Charlie Card the MBTA works harder to provide better services? How about THAT for an idea?

Pardon my grumpiness, but I found this article while I was running late because my bus decided, “Hey, I’m not going to show up at all!” Because of my silly bus, my 20 minute commute turned into 1 hour, so excuuuuuuuuse me if this news didn’t make me jump up and down or do the dance of joy.

Question...

How may people are completely satisfied with the MBTA? I’m not. The bus in my neighborhood is very unreliable AND on Sunday it stops running after 6 pm. Running late or not showing up at all is its creed. Is my Charlie Card smart enough to stop this? I think not! I wonder, if the news of being able to use one’s Charlie Card to purchase items the MBTA’s way to make us forget about their crappy service?

Oh! Quick question about this new Charlie Card...

If I my bus decides not to show up, can I use it in a taxicab? Maybe that should be an option, considering the many times I had to hail a cab just to get to my destination on time. Honestly, that would benefit me more than being able to buy a latte from Dunkin’ Donuts.

Seriously MBTA, you might want to work on your services first. If you do that, then you wouldn’t need tricks and glitter to cover up your insufficiencies.

It’s just a suggestion.

Do you see now? I think the newspaper gave the MBTA my information! I can see it now...My picture up in MBTA headquarters with a notice that says: "If this girl gets on the bus...TRY TO KILL HER! Muhahahahahahahahaha!"

Okay, maybe I'm being paranoid but in my defense, I normally run into one murderous bus driver per week. This week it has been EVERYDAY and during my morning and night commute.

I'm scared. I don't want to die on a bus! I rather die in a Conservative Convention while George Bush stumbles through "Green Eggs and Ham."

Hey if they want to life the Kamikaze lifestyle, that's their business. I just wish they wouldn't take me down with them.

*sigh*

*blows a kiss to her Faithful Five and waves goodbye to all the rest*

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease! ;)

Feh...

2007-09-13T08:31:00.000-05:00

So today my book bag breaks on me while going to work. Oh did I mention that I have a full time job now? Yea, it's cool and it gives me time to blog and do other artsy things...lol. Talk about an artist's dream! I'm afraid that I'm jinxing it though because everything hasn't been finalized. But the people here are so laid back. I'm supposed to start at 8:30 but I was told to come in by 9 am. Since I like to go to bed late, this news is AWESOME. It's only 20 minutes away from my house so I barely deal with traffic. I'm not near any colleges or anything which rocks my world...

But this blog isn't about this.

It's about my flarggin' frickin' frackin' book bag!

First let me say that this book bag wasn't my idea. You see one day my mom went shopping with my roommate and I. As usual, she looked me over with disapproval in her eyes before they zeroed in on my L.L. Bean book bag that I've had SINCE college. So that was what? About 10 years now. So she decided that it was time for me to get a new bag, which my roommate agreed full-heartedly.

Here's the thing, my mom is sneaky so I KNEW that this new bag was going to be her way to try and pressure me to buy a new little pocket book with makes NO FREAKIN' SENSE TO ME BECAUSE WHAT CAN YOU PUT IN THERE BESIDES YOUR PHONE AND YOUR MONEY?!

But I digress...

Anyways, my roommate, who has a name but I refuse to use it for I am talking about a time where she sold me out, walks away to get some shoes. She finds a store that sells bags. All types of bags and she tells my mom. I was literally dragged to the store. I pouted and hugged my L.L. Bean straps as they told me to get to the back and look at the bags. I never felt so dirty. Well I have, but I still felt dirty there...

My mom was picking up these frilly bags and telling me to buy them, which I refused venomously. I even growled at her a few times. In the end, she purchased two bags for me. I wasn't crazy about them, but they were disgustingly small or girly, so I was cool with that. Now, they wanted me to get a new book bag...I swear they hate on my L.L. so my roommate found the one that I have with me today. I'll admit it was cute and my mom still hated it, so it was all good with me! lol

I purchased it...about 4 months ago...Maybe even 5...

So why is it broken?! My L.L. has sustained 10 years of a HEAVY books, rain, snow, falls, playful attacks...EVERYTHING, yet this bag couldn't even last 1 year?! The weird part is, the plastic part that connects both of the straps together because it's the type that crosses over your body just broke. The plastic weakened or something. So I was staring at it trying to figure out how to fix it...

That's when I noticed another set of straps that made me think I could slip those straps over my shoulder...Uh no...

I have never used those straps but the plastic broke just from a simple touch.

Now I may be wearing a Wonder Woman shirt, but I'm not THAT strong.

So what's the moral of this story?

Don't go with cute...Go with durable. Durable never lets you down and pretty soon, "cute" will fade away. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find a new book bag. *rolls eyes*

Until next time Faithful Five (are you guys still there?) and all the rest,

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

A book

2007-07-31T17:40:00.001-05:00

So...

I'm doing it. I'm going to write a book. I would tell you what it's about, but I really don't want to. I don't want you to discuss the book or give me ideas. I want it to be strictly a Maxie original. Also, I don't want the naysayers to try to persuade me not to do it.

The funny part of deciding to write a book is the immediate fear/confidence levels. While typing this, my body has grown cold and I have a sense of fear accompanied with goosebumps. Yay...

Sometimes I get so ballsy. I really do! I even say, "Balls to the wall Chica! Balls to the wall!" Though, I only have metal balls to put on the wall, but I wouldn't do that because I use them to calm me down. They are blue and have ying yang signs on them. :) If your mind is still in the gutter, then you have the mentality of a 12 year old...And I like it! *giggles*

I have 1 chapter down, but now I'm stalled. My fear is getting the best of me right about now, but don't worry...It never lasts long.

So wish me luck, okay? Maybe I'll let you all read it...Maybe I'll force you to buy it. What? I can't make money if I give away my book, can I? Sheesh! I am an artist you know! *smiles*

Okay okay okay...I'll end this now. If you would like to donate to the United Negro Maxie Fund because my mind is a terrible thing to waste, drop me an email! *winks*

Until next time Faithful Four (Cuz Harry is MIA),

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!!

A Little Story

2007-07-30T22:21:00.000-05:00

Sit down kiddies, and let me tell you a story. It’s about a time when men used to give their seats to a lady on a public bus or train. I know, I know, it sounds strange and you probably think that I’m lying, but no, I speak the truth.

In this world which is much like our own, if a lady stepped on public transportation, she would have various seats to choose from because every man on that mode of transportation was a gentleman.

But that was the past. Let’s fast forward to our own world. In particular, let’s fast forward to me, today on the 66 bus. While waiting for this bus, I observed my surroundings. What? I’m a city gal, that’s what we do. I noticed that there was an elderly gentleman waiting with me so when the bus came, I did what my mother taught me to do. I stepped back and waited for him to board because that’s what you do when you have manners. He stopped and looked me funny before giving me the signal to go before him. I’ll admit I was perplexed and I even hesitated, but his look told me that if I didn’t go first, I would have offended him. So I did. On the bus, there were only 2 seats left in the front. I stood so he could sit. It’s those manners again! While standing I felt a tug at my shirt. I turned to see him standing. He motioned for me to sit down. I tried to tell him no, but there it was again, the look.

This gentleman was well into his 60’s maybe older. As I sat there, I thought about the MANY times I was standing on the bus while younger men sat. I even remembered a time when I was sitting on a packed bus across from a guy who was in his 20’s like me. It was interesting because every time a woman got on the bus, he would close his eyes as if he were sleeping. Once she settled, he would open them again. I figured if he couldn’t see the woman looking for a place to sit, he wouldn’t feel obligated to stand up. I am not making this up. He wasn’t tired, he wasn’t drifting off to sleep and waking up. He was literally blinking for 40 seconds at a time.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some young men in their 20’s who will stand up for a lady, but those instances are so far and few that I often catch myself staring with my mouth opened. That shouldn’t the case! It should be a social norm! If you are a healthy bodied man sitting on a packed bus, what is so hard about rising when you see a woman standing? And please, don’t give me the feminist line because I have yet to meet a feminist who wouldn’t take a seat on a crowded bus because it was against her principles. If you know of women like this or if you are one, please reply to this blog, I need to converse with you because you are ruining it for the rest of us! :)

Before anyone tries to flip it on me, if I am sitting and I see an elderly person board the bus, I immediately get up! There’s no thought. I don’t care if I’m exhausted! What burns my grits is when I stand up to let an elderly person sit down and a young person sits in my seat. I’ll admit that both men and women have done this. My first reaction is to pull them up out of the seat so the elderly person can sit, but usually they realize their faux pas and jump up, but honestly…

If you are healthy and another healthy person gets out of their seat to stand, it is safe to assume that it’s NOT FOR YOU TO SIT!

Back to the topic. It would be easy for me to lump these gentlemen into one category and call them self-centered cavemen, but I can’t. I refuse actually.

Perhaps the MBTA has special powers that nullify their gentlemanly behaviors?

I don’t know boys and girls. What I do know is my interactions with older gentlemen in these situations show me that the days when men stood up to let women sit actually happened…

That it wasn’t a fantasy made up by romance novels with pictures of Fabio on the cover.

Until next time Faithful Five (and others...Though Harry, WHERE ARE YOU?!)!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Fatherless child?

2007-06-20T09:21:00.000-05:00

This post is dedicated to those who are afraid to talk to me about their fathers because I don't have one. I love you guys truly, but trust me when I say that I forget that my father isn't in my life. You wonderful people tend to remind me about it.

My roommie is going through the same thing. I guess after being without something for 22+ years you have two choices:

1. Put it out of your mind and move on.

2. Freak out about it and long for it.

Guess which one I chose. G'won...GUESS! lol

This past Sunday was Father's Day. I remembered because one of my good friends is a father and we were talking about his fatherhood the night before. So that Sunday, my roommie (Kelly a.k.a. Smelly) and I were in the kitchen cooking when I turned to her and said, "Happy Father's Day Kelly!" She laughed and I giggled. Then we sat down and talked about it. Not about our sadness for our missing fathers, well in my case, I refer to him as my sperm donor, we talked about how people get nervous about talking to us about their experiences when we don't feel like we're missing anything. Then she said the most hilarious thing in the world...

"So I say to them, you don't have green eyes. Does that affect you?"

Granted green eyes compared to a missing father is basically nothing, but what most don't understand is, once you get to our age, it's exactly like that.

In life, I feel that God looks out for us. If we are lacking something or if we are going to end up lacking something, He fills that gap. I had two older brothers and 10+ surrogate brothers along the way. Each guy taught me something new about men. And when I say something, I mean the good, the bad, and dear goodness the UGLY! Because of this, I'm pretty savvy when it comes to dealing with the man-folk to the point that some of my brothers want to send their daughters to me when they hit 13 so I can teach them the tricks and how to avoid terrible situations. Most of my guy friends have also showed me that not all men are bastards. Some of them have shown me that some men are bastards (and not bastards in the sense that I am a bastard). lol

They give me hope. Right now, one in particular gives me hope because he loves his daughter so much and I get to see the pains that he goes through to secure a good life for her. He can't physically be with her and it tears him up inside. I try to comfort him but the fact that I can't makes me think, "Hey, if I'm really patient and pick the right guy to marry and procreate, then my children's fate won't match mine. *smiles*

So trust me when I say that when I wake up in the morning the first words aren't,

"Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa can you find me in the night?"

And believe me when I say that before I brush my teeth, I don't look in the mirror and say,

"Papa are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me not be frightened?"

This isn't me being brave. This is me being truthful. Maybe I had issues with it when I was a kid, but honestly I can't remember nor do I want to try. I've had enough repressed memories popping into my head out of nowhere and after having those, I don't want anymore. lol

Hear me when I say, I'm okay. My sperm donor left me with two funky gifts that are in my face on a daily basis. One, my funky name. Two, my thick glorious hair. For that I thank him, but that's it. *smiles*

So, may I get back to my regularly scheduled life? Because I tend to forget that I'm missing a vital parental figure until some sweet person goes, "I shouldn't talk to you about this because you don't have a father."

Oh yea, I don't have a father. I forgot.

"Papa, how I love you...
Papa, how I need you.
Papa, how I miss you
Kissing me good night..."

*giggles*

Sorry, I had to use those lyrics. Last night before I went to bed, I decided to use this as my next blog topic and that song cracked me up. I started thinking about how folks thought I should react, so I pictured me throwing myself down to the ground and singing the words for "Yentl."

Guys, I'm okay. I swear. *winks* There aren't people pointing their fingers and hissing "Bastard" in my direction. Man, that would be funny if it did happen! *giggles*

Consider my lack of a father to be like a person without a leg. Eventually they move one and they learn how to adapt to the change in their life. If they are a high spirited person, acknowledge the fact that they are missing something but then they refuse to let that missing thing change their lives in a negative way. In most cases, they end up accomplishing things that they normally wouldn't if they were "whole."

I may not be emotionally whole, but that doesn't mean I'm broken...

So don't try to fix me and please don't pity me, okay? *smiles*

Okay Faithful Five (and the rest of you blog reading slackers!),

I must leave you now with a little:

Love, Peace and Hair Grease!

Trust

2007-06-19T01:01:00.000-05:00

So...

I don't know about you guys, but I'm the type of person who takes trust seriously.

Blah blah blah, I have trust issues....

Blah blah blah, Past baggage...

Blah blah blah, Other psycho-babble...

Good, now you psychologists can leave me alone. :-P

Back to my topic:

I generally like to trust people. I give it easily, yet once it's mistreated, then it hurts me. Bad...

Even the little issues...

If my trust is violated, then it takes me a while to feel comfortable with that person again. Yea, I know that it must sound messed up, but it's just how I am I guess.

I'm kinda down because of this. Sure the issue was tiny but honestly, to be so careless about my trust...

Well it makes me nervous...

I really don't want to continue this. I have too many thoughts on my mind.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease...

New Poem?

2007-05-19T21:31:00.000-05:00

I dunno...Maybe you want something creative to read...Quien sabe?

But in case you do, I made this entire thing. From taking the pictures to the poem to arranging it on Photoshop. What's that? I'm talented????? Well...What can I say? *giggles*

I found this flower on a bus one day and it was so pretty that I took it home for the sole purpose of photographing it. While photographing it, I decided to write a poem about it. Well 2 months later, I finally did the poem! :-) So here ya go!

Faithful 5...

Everyone else...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease! ;-)

Temping = Prostitution

2007-05-02T10:58:00.000-05:00

Tempin' like Pimpin' ain't easy...

I've been a temp for about a year now and this experience has taught me something. Before I go on, I know some of you are saying, "Why are you a temp? Are you afraid of commitment?" You just don't know how many times I hear that and every time I hear that I want to push the person down some stairs or something. Thanks to the current job market and the fact that the fields that I want to work in are almost impossible to crack, I'm temping. Hey, it's better than moving home. ANYTHING is better than moving home!!!! No offence mom. I love you.

Anyways, so basically I'm a temping whore. My Temping Agency is my pimp. A bit far fetched you say? Just wait and see where I go with this.

When not working, I'm usually writing at home or hanging out somewhere, then I get a phone call from my pimp. He tells me about a john who wants some services. Most importantly he tells me about a john who wants the services that only I can provide. He asks if I can service the john and I say, "Yes, I can." Then I am given a phone number, an address, and the name of the john. Before I step into the office, I have to give my pimp a phone call to let him know that I made it to the place safe and sound. Then I walk in looking my best and I give the john the best service that I am able to muster for as long as the john needs me. Sometimes I receive a very nice john. The ones who tell me what they want and let me give it to them the way I like. I like those johns because sometimes they give me gifts on top of money and I become their favorite whore meaning that whenever they more services, they specifically ask for me. I once had a nice john almost keep me. Yup, I would have become a kept whore, which is what most temps long for.

Sometimes I get a john who only wants to abuse me. They don't care about my feelings and they are often very demanding. Although they are receiving my services at a cheaper price, they force me to perform various services that cause me to hang my head in shame at the end of the day because I am so tired and I've been violated.

Whether the john is nice or evil, it doesn't take away from the fact that as a temp, I am a whore.

After a long day at work, I then have to call into my pimp to let them know how well I gave my john my services. Normally my john calls my pimp too. When it's all said and done, my john pays me money and my pimp takes a percentage of that. If I miss work, I must deal with my pimp. If I'm sick, I must call my pimp so he can call my john. This way, my pimp can send out another whore to service the john.

It doesn't seem so far fetched anymore, does it?

Thanks for listening.

Ciao Faithful Five...and everyone else. lol

Love, Peace, and Hairgrease!

Non-Conformity?

2007-04-24T11:26:00.000-05:00

Today, while strolling to work...I started to think about what causes non-conformity. I was listening to a song from the Broadway show "Rent" and one line caused this thought process: "For being an us, no longer a them." Then it hit me.

Non-conformity often breeds from a group of people saying, "this is how things should be and if you don't like this, then you are different!" People often react differently when they hear it. You have folks who will work hard to become a them because they find it to be easier. Then you have folks, like me, who say, "Screw you! Fine, I'll reject your beliefs!" A non-conformist is born after that. I'll admit the main basis of my non-conformity is the fact that I want to think for myself. I won't go see a movie that is being hyped up because I'm afraid that the media persuaded me. What I usually end up doing is waiting for the hype do die down. Then I decide, "Do I really want to do this?" I guess being stubborn is also part of my non-conformity. I REFUSE to let someone define me and say, "Because you are a this, then you must act this way." As a woman, I like to define what makes me tick, what makes me feminine, what makes me me. Sure getting me in a skirt or dress is worse than pulling teeth...Well if you want me to wear those things the "proper" way.

But think about it...

Non-conformist reject and are rejected at the same time. If non-conformist weren't rejected, then they wouldn't have anything to reject. Does that make sense? I'm not trying to say that you all are simple minded, I just know that sometimes, things make sense to me because they are my thoughts. In other words...My mind is complex and every now and then, I have difficulty conveying my thoughts in a clear manner.

Imagine living in a world where your differences are appreciated. Where you are the master of your domain and people are okay with that. Where there isn't anyone trying to impose their beliefs on you. Would you have the need to rebel? Of course not! Heck in this imaginary world, if you wanted to shave a checker's pattern in your head...Folks would still treat you the same. They wouldn't say, "Hey, weirdo."

There wouldn't be hippies, beatniks, emos, goths, feminists, militants, nothing...

Because no one would be rejected...

So no one would need to reject.

It would be the death of non-conformity and I would be okay with that.

But until that happens, I am still the hot mess that you all know and love. The one who still won't eat refried beans because, "If they didn't get it right the first time, then I'm not eating it!" lol

I'm forever a "them" and forever yours...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Imagini Personality Report

2007-04-19T08:20:00.000-05:00

Kafui sent this to me and I thought it was awesome. I think it pretty much summed me up and I didn't have to sign up wtih the program to get the results! Good times! :-D

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Monologues

2007-04-18T10:24:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are the monologues that my girl, Maya will be using. She called me yesterday and let me tell you, I was so nervous! I was waiting for her to tell me that they were absolutely HORRIBLE and that she decided to us another writer to help her with her career. What?! I'm an artist darnit! Of COURSE I get worried about stuff like that. Don't judge! lol

On my Deviant Art Page, I'm going to list all three stages of these two monologues. It will go from the first drafts, which were a bit longer, to the second drafts, to the final drafts, when Maya told me what she liked and asked me to change certain things.

Enjoy and um, some constructive criticism would be appreciated!
=========================

Expression Through Song

I can’t stand ignorant people! They give me gas! I’m so serious! Normally I try to ignore ignorant people. I really do. Try dealing with 4 ignorant people. I still cringe just thinking about it! One day while on my way to work I got on the bus and there they were, ignorant mothers. Now before you call me judgmental, imagine that you see a bunch of empty seats in the back, but there are about 10 people standing because the 4 IGNORANT mothers on a bus with their babies AND carriages were blocking the aisles! NO ONE could get by! My theory is 99% of the population is oblivious to their surroundings. Well, I decided that I wasn’t going to stand so I maneuvered my way through the pack…Or the ignorant pack. “Oh I guess someone doesn’t know how to say excuse me,” one of them announces to her crew…Her ignorant crew. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Why should I say excuse me? They were blocking the aisles. They were being inconsiderate AND those who tried to ask them to move their carriages were ignored, that’s why they were still standing. “I can’t stand rude people,” another one cackled to her clique…Her ignorant clique. They laughed and looked at me while I glared back. “Chica,” I said to myself, “Whatever you do, DON’T get into a fight! I don’t think their babies need to see mommy getting stomped by an angry, yet cute stranger!” I tend to add the cute part because it so true. Anyways, so they are staring at me while I’m glaring back at them. I needed something to calm me down right then and there because I KNEW they wanted to fight me and honestly, who wants to fight on their way to work? Who wants to fight at all? That’s when I heard “My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music” playing in my head. I cracked a smile and I closed my eyes. While those mothers went back to their conversation, I started to sing it.
Guess who got off of that bus without a single fight. Guess who taught that group…I mean ignorant group…that you mess with me; I will glare at you and start singing a Disney song! Yup! I’m scary; OH SO scary, but at least I didn’t get into a fight.

===========================
Oil Slick

I trust that you guys are in love and that you’ve been hurt before is that safe to say? Of course it is or else you wouldn’t be here. I know I have, but…I’m still with him. They say that you hurt the one that you love the most and if that’s the case then he must be enamored! I just don’t know why I stay with him. I guess part of me is waiting for him to change. He isn’t always a selfish asshole. Sometimes he’s sweet and gentle and it’s those times when I fall in love with him all over again. I’m at the point where I’ve got my emotional bags packed but my heart becomes mellow, passive, it’s sickening and I stay. Every day, like you all, I watch him struggle with his addiction and I hate it. Maybe one day I won’t be so inclined to turn around. Maybe one day, his “Baby, I’ll stop,” nonsense won’t be enough to keep me. Ah! It will be like an oil slick and when I turn around to go back, my feet will slip on them and I will go flying out of the door while screaming, “Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt’s ooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr! Kkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssss mmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-” Well you know the rest.

And-and-and I know people judge me, they are always asking me why am I still with him? But they don’t feel it when he holds me in his arms. They can’t smell the scent of his cologne while I lay next to his body at night. They can’t experience the chills I get when he kisses me just right. (PAUSE) It’s these feelings that keep me from leaving him, you know. I know they are feelings of love. Nothing else can explain this disgusting, spell binding, HIDEOUS feeling that I get in the pit of my stomach every time I think, “If you stay with him, he will destroy your life, it’s time to go.” I’ve already lost so much, but it’s not about the possessions, it’s about my pride.

I guess it comes down to two choices huh? Either I stay with him and watch him gamble our savings away or I leave. The funny part is I thought I was the one leading this session, but it turns out that I’m the one who needs the help. Hmmm...

======================

TANGENT ALERT

Someone told me that they've read a few posts on my blog. As usual, I was shocked and honored. I was all, "You...read...my...BLOG?! WOW!" I guess you guys like to view my insanity. It helps so you can go, "At least I'm not crazy like THAT!" lol

FLASHBACK

I started giggling to myself at work when I remembered an episode that starred Gaetane, Kafui, and me! We were on the bus and I mentioned the word vagina and how Kafui has a hard time saying it. Here's a helpful hint for you. If you EVER have a problem saying a word, DON'T TELL ME THE WORD! Especially if I am in the presence of my Partners in Crime (Kelly or Gaetane).

Poor Kafui...Gaetane and I kept repeating the word and telling her to say it. She kept refusing. Wait, I remember how it started. She was talking about how as a Nurses assistant she had a run in with a patient. Instead of saying vagina, she said "down there." Gaetane and I looked at each other before I looked back at her and said, "Do you mean, VAGINA?" She blushed and it was on after that. What made it worse was, the bus ride was 45 minutes long and we didn't let up. You see, Kafui wants to be a Nurse and we felt that as a Nurse she would HAVE to be able to say it because what is she going to say?

"I'm sorry ma'am but you have an infection in your area."

"I'm sorry Ms. Jones, but your junk is torn."

"Take this cream and rub it on your naughty place."

"Insert this into your flower."

"Open your legs. I need to look at your snappy nappy dug out." (I stole snappy nappy dug out from the movie "Juice")

I could go on, but I'm trying not to end up in a fit of tears and giggles. Just like the last time I did a blog on "Free Peachin'" a.k.a. "Freein' da Beave." Okay that last one started the giggling. Oh dear goodness I'm shaking now...lol.

Back to the topic. So we tortured her. She just kept frowning and yelling, "I'm NOT going to say it!" We kept saying, "C'mon, say it! Just once. Say vagina! How can you not say vagina! You have one!" I honestly believe that Kafui was praying that the bus have an accident. Somehow I bet she would rather deal with that. Then her biggest nightmare came true...A guy got on the bus and overheard our conversation. Let me write this out for you...

Me: Kafui, say it. Just say it once and loud.

Gaetane: Say vagina! You have one! VA-GI-NA!!

Kafui: Leave me alone! I'm not going to say it! Stop it you guys!

Random Guy: What? You can't say vagina? You got one!

Me: See?! He's a guy and he can say vagina!

Random Guy: Heck I love vaginas! I came from a vagina! So did you!

Gaetane: He has a point. You DID come from a vagina! So say it! VA-GI-NA!!!!

Me: I just think it's sad that you can't say it. C'mon just this once. Say it. Say vagina!

Kafui: Vagina, vagina, vagina, VAGINA! There! Are you guys happy now?!

(Gaetane looks at me and we look at the guy)

Gaetane and Me: Yes we are.

An older woman turned and gave Kafui a "You poor thing," look and started laughing. Gaetane and I then got off of the bus, leaving Kafui there with the vagina loving Random Guy.

Oh good times, good times. Hey Kafui if you are reading this do me a favor and say vagina! *winks*

Until next time Faithful 5...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Balls to the Wall!

2007-04-12T12:03:00.000-05:00

Have you ever just gotten to the point to where you're just like...

"This is what I want and I'm going for it"?

Well after the beautiful and talented Ms. Mayari S-H asked me to write 2 monologues for her upcoming meeting, that's when I decided...

Max, it's Balls to the Wall TIME!!!!

I know that I don't have balls, but there isn't really a female equivalent and I'm not putting my breasts on anything! It's bad enough that in 2 years...Well let just say:

Insert boob here.

*holds breath*

>>>SQUISH<<<

*whimpers*

So for the sake of my sanity (or insanity in my case) I'm just going to use balls and walls. I've already got 2 of Maya's monologes banged out...How? Well 2 of them are coming from my blog. She says that she needs something sassy and funny...*looks innocent* What? Can't a sistah like her own work?! lol

I feel NO fear! There isn't a little voice predicting failure. Heck the fact that Maya is willing to trust her acting career in my hands is an honor that I won't take lightly. As a matter of fact she said, "Max my LIFE is in your hands!" Feel the pressure? I'm still calm as a cucumber. I'm confident in my writing abilities, but I'm also confident in my abilities to convey emotions. I know Maya (We've been friends for 10 years now) so it's all good! I will give her two rockin' monologues! In addition I will trust that she will bring my words to life and leave that agent sitting there with his/her mouth opened! In a way, it's a double trust issue here, you know? When you are an artist, the hardest part is letting someone interpret your work...And when you are an actor, the hardest part is trusting that the writer is competent enough to bring out your positive strengths and give you something that's open enough for you to experiment. Someone take my temperature...I think I've got a fever...

A fever for writing!!! I'm going to display my monolouges on my Deviant Art page when I'm finished. For those who don't know the address:

My Deviant Art Page

I'll announce their debut in a blog...lol!

Oh and today!

Okay, I need to slow down cuz again, I'm tired and it's gloomy outside, plus I'm a little sad due to a slight situation with someone that I truly love so my balance is slowly going out of whack here. *breathes*

I wrote the following letter to the editor of a new free newspaper (BostonNOW) that's coming out for the first time on Tuesday, April 17th:

"Dear John,

Hello! My name is (I insterted my full first name), but only my mom can call me that. Well when she's mad. You can call me Maxine. I am writing you because this is the second day that I've heard about your newspaper. Yesterday, I was so excited that I was hoping to find an email address somewhere so I can write an actual person and ask if there were possible positions. Today I found yours. I could go into the "Writing is My Life" monologue, but I'll protect you from that, just this once.

Are there any positions at your office? I know that you have blogging opportunities and believe me I will sign up once I send this email, but I was wondering, does your office have actual positions?

Any information that you are able to offer will be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

(inserted my full name here)"

His response? Well I have that too!!! Check it out:

"Hi, Maxine:

What a delightful introduction!

I was taken aback by the return address name (what a mouthful, I thought), but you certainly made it an asset in your intro.

Unfortunately, we have filled our open positions, but I'd still enjoy meeting you.

Now is not the time, however, as we're frantic getting ready to publish. Why don't you drop me a line in a couple of weeks when we're settling into a routine.

I do encourage you, though, to go post a blog on Monday when we launch our website. I look forward to seeing your stuff online.

Thanks again for your interest."

My response to him? OF COURSE I HAVE IT!!!!! Here:

"Hello John,

Okay, I will contact you the week of April 30th! Don't forget about me! I wouldn't want you staring at my email and thinking, "Why is this strange person with a ridiculous first name contacting me?"

Thanks so much!

Maxine"

So I will have a meeting with an editor of a newspaper. Balls to the Wall Baby! Balls to the Wall!!

Hmmmm...Perhaps I just like saying balls? *giggles* I just said balls...lol.

Yesterday I decided that I had two choices:

1. Fight for my dreams to be a writer and a deejay

2. Go back to Higher Education and settle

*Audience members start to scream, "Pick door number 1!"* Of course I picked 1...Do you NOT know me?! Keep me in your prayers y'all! And oh yea, just because I'm blogging for BostonNOW that doesn't mean I'm going to leave you guys alone! I'll definitely post links here and even do special ones just for you all!

I love you all!

Thanks to those who constantly support me!

Thanks to those who support me when they can!

Thanks to those who have absolutely no faith in me and my abilities at all...You make me determined.

Please excuse me, there is a site that I need to sign up on!

To my Faithful Five and the rest of you SLACKERS I say,

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease...

P.S. It's one thing to dream, it's another to make it a REALITY!

Whaddaya Gonna Do?

2007-04-10T15:06:00.000-05:00

Now I have that stupid Black Eye Peas song in my head thanks to my title. *growls*

Anyhoo...

Whaddaya gonna do when you have an hour left in work, you're tired, and you can barely keep your eyes open? WRITE IN YOUR BLOG! You guys love it when I'm loopy. I know because I get emails telling me just that. "Drink more coffee," they say, "You're (censored) hilarious," they read, "I love you and want you to be the mother of my kids so leave Boston and come away with me to a secluded area where there will be mango trees all over and not a stupid person in sight..."

Wait, none of them actually say that last thing. Did I mention I was delirious too? I'm tired and I think I'm coming down with something nasty. If not...then it's allergy season! I was looking at this list of the 100 worse cities to live if you have allergies. I am proud to announce that Boston is 99. So it could be worse, I could be living in the #1 worst spot. Don't ask me what the number 1 spot was. I'm happy that I can remember my name and my way home. 50 more minutes...

This morning I was outraged...But thanks to my lack of energy, I am merely annoyed...A little bit...Okay not really annoyed, I'm just irritated. lol

Most of you cats aren't from Boston but those who are noticing the spike in violence in our fair city. The government is putting more money into hiring more police officers and to help programs produce more jobs for teenagers. Ready? Okay...

A few years back, Mass residents were faced with a choice:

1. Lower taxes

2. Keep them the same

Guess what the (censored) picked?! Dumb (censored) majority. Don't they read? Don't they learn? For the love of all that is squishy...

The more impoverished a place is, the more crime you will have.

The more bored teens are, the more crime you will have.

Now our government is dropping in to save the day. Yay? Now they are starting to have a problem with this because folks are worried about their safety while using public transportation. So that's why there is a lot of attention here...

The upper class folks are worried about geting hurt and the government is worried about losing their support.

Folks want to dismiss those who voted for the tax cut by saying that they did it because they are stupid. I'm here to tell you, they did it because they were selfish. They were looking out for themselves and their pockets. "Why should I care about what happens in the inner-city, it isn't affecting my neighborhood or my kids!" HA...Yes it is. Kids in the suburbs get bored too. Kids in the suburbs do drugs too. The only difference is, kids in the suburbs have the MONEY to get whatever it is that they want!

I actually saved this bad boy as a draft two days ago...

In the past two days, the front page of the Metro (Boston newspaper) has caused me to stop reading it. I would walk into work and hand it over to my colleague who loves to do the crossword puzzles. Today I found that the State Senate rejected the Governor's petition for more money in order to hire more police officers. Boston is now more dangerous than the city of New York. Why? I believe it's because New York has more police officers while the ones in Boston are being stretched thin.

Either we get more money into our state once again, or things are going to become worse and instead of pointing their fingers at the government, folks in Boston, who voted for the lowering of taxes, should point at themselves.

Let me end this with a question for those people:

When you voted to keep more money in your pocket...Did you think about who you were hurting in the process???

I didn't think so. I don't wish harm on anyone, but if things like this keep up, our children will be the ultimate victims and that breaks my heart.

No "man" is an island...

Until next time Faithful Five...As well as others...

LOVE, PEACE, and Hair Grease.

But Why?

2007-04-05T08:31:00.000-05:00

I dunno...

I've never really been the type who is into going to reunions of any sort. It's not because I've had a sucky life. My life has been the absolute BOMB, but once a part of my life is over...I want to leave it there, y'know?

I'm writing about this because recently the choir that I used to sing with contacted me to sing with them. I SO wasn't into the idea because as much as I loved the people there, I just wasn't interested in going back NOR did I want to go to my alma mater, Northeastern Univ. Whenever I drive by that place, oh correction, whenever I am driven by that place (I don't drive) I get this feeling that I just want to get out of that area fast. Now mind you, I had a blast at that school! My first day I stepped onto that campus and said, "This is a pretty big school, but by the time I finish here everyone will know my name!" No I didn't rub my hands together and cackle evily, I was late for my Intro to Psychology class, so I didn't have time. Honestly, I think I achieved that. When you have folks talking about how they heard about you...When you don't even know them at all, yea I accomplished that. If you read my blog, I told you all the story about how my friends would tease me about knowing everyone. If you haven't read it, Check out the months of Feb. and March. It's there somewhere.

But anywhoo...

I had a blast at Northeastern. I've made some pretty awesome friends from there too. I've "adopted" folks into my family. I loved the place while I was there, but now to be on that campus...Well, I don't like it. I feel almost antsy to continue on with my life. To find another place to conquer. *rubs her hands and laughs evily* lol

As much as I loved being in that choir, it was hard for me to say yes to singing again. I got coerced but luckily, stuff came up on my end, so I couldn't sing with them at all. The average person looks forward to seeing their old stomping grounds, but not me. A year ago I went back to talk to a student organization that I spent a lot of time on...

I gave advice, I was witty, I was cute, c'mon were you shocked? I wasn't. lol But...It felt SO weird. I loved seeing the freshmen that I left now running things as seniors. The reception that I received was awesome, but honestly...When I got back to my world, I felt SO happy.

Call me weird, I won't deny it, but that's just how I am. The past is something I don't like to drudge up, regardless of how I felt about the environment. I haven't been to a high school reunion. I just don't want to go. I get asked if I'm going all the time. I think they just celebrated the 10th year ruin this year. Or maybe in 2006...Who knows? Who cares? Now now, that doesn't make me heartless...

I just makes me different. Perhaps it's because I make the most out of each of my experiences so that when it comes time to go back to these places, I push them away like a person who is completely satisfied with their meal pushes their plate away.

Quizas...

Now...It's be a few day since I talked about my bus dancing dreams and so far NO ONE has danced with me! Ummm...Are you people sleeping?! I thought you loved me! You couldn't set it up for someone to come and dance with me??? Why do I tell you folks these things? *rolls eyes*
All I know is, if you guys would have told me about your wishes, I would set up a dance experience for you! I would find out which bus route you take and where you get on...Then I would find a friend that you don't know and send him/her over to you to groove with you at the bus stop! Why? Because I'm a dedicated friend! That's why!!!! Tee hee...

Okay, I have to do data entry now. Temping like Pimpin' ain't easy...But it sure is fun. lol

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!

P.S. To all those who read this thing and tell me that you do...Thanks! You guys keep me writing.

Groovin'

2007-03-27T17:50:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if you guys know this about me, but I LOVE to dance! Usually when I'm in public, if there is music on my ears, you can usually spot me dancing at the bus stop. Heck, I've been known to challenge folks to tap dancing when neither parties have ever tapped in their life! If the wind is blowing and I'm wearing a tank top and a sweater or a shirt of it that's opened, I will thrust on hand up in the air and scream "Ahhhhhhhh!" That's a Michael Jackson thing for all you squares out there! lol

Now, I know that it's bad to dance at a bus stop and I KNOW that folks are staring at me...But I don't care.

You know what's worse?

Do you REALLY want to know?!

Okay, *sigh*

I've ALWAYS wanted someone to come up to me and dance with me! It doesn't have to be a guy, it can be a girl. They have to be respectful. I mean, it's not like I'm droppin' it like it's hot. As a matter of fact I only drop it like it's hot in the privacy of my own home (oh yea my husband is going to LOVE me). I think the last time I dropped it like it was hot was the beginning of this month. lol

But I don't do that at bus stops. I'm usually grooving. I just want someone to groove with me. They could be listening to their own music or just following my cues. Heck, if they want, I'll sing whatever I am listening to. Here's the funnier part...I love boy bands...Well not all of them, but my boy band love goes from the Jackson 5 up to *NSYNC, so my lil nano is usually jam packed with them along with mad funk selections, old school R&B and folks like Remy Shand, Thicke, Tim Blane, etc. :-)

I just really REALLY want someone to like tap my shoulder and start grooving. I want them to put on their "funk" face. You know the one...It's when you're really feeling the music and your face scrunches up! YEA! That's how I like it!

But alas...

It's still a mere dream. I see me and this random person just dancing until the bus comes. Folks are looking at us like we have issues, but we so don't care...it's all about the groove! Don't disturb the groove...THE GROOVE! Sorry, That's a lil bit from the Emperor's last groove for ya! lol

Is anyone still reading this? I know it's been weeks since I last updated, but I'm curious to see if folks check to see if I have...lol.

I normally shot out my faithful 4, but this time I think I'll just keep it generic until I find out if they are representing their title.

Until next time gorgeous readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!!

P.S. Who has a job that pays her to write???? *looks around* *looks around*

THAT'S RIGHT!!!! ME!!!!!! lol

Disturbing Dream and Incident

2007-03-13T15:15:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all!

Okay so I haven't been writing in my blog, but seriously, how many of you are checking this bad boy everyday?

*waits for an answer*

That's what I thought! :-)

First my dream:

Last night I had this dream that started off with me watching a reality show for guys who wanted to learn how to perform and dance provocatively. The head of the show was this little flamboyant black man who would yell at them. So in my dream, first you would see these extra buff straight men, dancing with these women on a stage as if they were performing and then you would hear the leader yell at them. Then he would say things like, "Sit down! Let me show you how it's done!"

In my dream, the guy would come out with his friends who were these slender gay men in chaps dancing with the women. It was quiet amusing actually. :-)

You think that's it? Nope! Next thing you know it, I was in Cats, the Broadway musical. I was literally in the show! I was the cat that got to sing "Memory." In my dream I was there watching folks get their make up and practice. I remember that we had a show that night and I was forced to go to the nail salon to get French tips and a pedicure. Like they can see those things from where they are sitting. Also, I had to get my hair done too. I remember that I did and that my friends, who were also in the show (not any of my real friends which is interesting) hung out until it was time to go to the show to get ready. I also got a clip of myself singing "Memory" in a cat suit. Scary...

Then I woke up.

Okay Disturbing incident. Remember the song "Slap That?" The one that I said I was listening to and it just hurt my ears to listen to those lyrics?!

Well I was listening to 98.5 fm today and this mother was driving her 3 year old to school. He wanted to hear a song so the deejay was going to play it for him. She put the phone to the kid's ear and guess what the 3 year old asked to hear????!?!?!?!?

YES!!!!!!!!!! SLAP THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*shaking her head*

My mouth fell open! Since when does a mother LET HER KID LISTEN TO THAT TRIPE?! She was SO proud that he wanted to hear it! It was like a badge of honor!

"My kid wants to listen to a sexual song that involves a man turning a woman around and spanking her!"

I so want to scream right now. I never felt so disgusted at a parent before in my life!

Am I overreacting?! I THINK NOT! You're letting your little boy listen to that?! You think it's cute?!

None of this would happen if folks would make me President and allow me to give tests to those who want to be parents. If they fail the test, they will be "neutered" until they can!

*growls*

Now I'm upset ALL over again!

I gotta go! lol

Love, Peace, and Hairgrease.

Yet ANOTHER Shamelss Plug!

2007-02-02T23:53:00.000-05:00

Yup...What the title says!!! *giggles*

Spot: I Will Always Love You

If you like what you hear...And I know you do...Come check me out!

Da Funk Mistress
I never said that I was sane!

Weird feeling

2007-01-26T13:54:00.000-05:00

My skin is starting to crawl...

At first, I didn't know why but then I looked at my calendar and there it was..

5...more...days...until...

Black...History...Month!!!!

Oh for the love of beans and rice!!!

SHOOT ME NOW!!!!

*sigh*

I feel a rant coming on. Until that happens...Check out my previous BHM rant done 7 days before Feb. 1st.

Black History Month Rant 2006

Once again let me say that if I mysteriously disappear, it's because the NAACP has captured me...Seriously, come find me. lol

Bus Boyfriend...

2007-01-26T13:09:00.000-05:00

So...

I officially have a bus boyfriend.

Bus boyfriends are bus drivers (male of course) who take care of you while you are commuting. In order for one to obtain a bus boyfriend one must:

1. Be cute. Ahem...

Bus boyfriends only zero in on the cute ones. I guess they need someone pleasing to the eye. Sure, there are gorgeous people, but there is a difference; cute people are easier to fall for than gorgeous people. Gorgeous women will capture your eye and cause a stirring in your pants, BUT a cute woman will capture your eye and cause a stirring in your heart.

2. Be charming.

When you think about it, bus boyfriends are stuck on that bus for hours a day driving the same path. It HAS to become tedious. In addition, they are dealing with funky attitudes throughout the entire day also, so if you are sweet and you smile a lot, then they tend to look forward to you riding on their bus because that means for a moment or two, they are going to have someone smiling and flirting with them. They need entertainment and you are their source of entertainment.

3. Be consistent.

Bus boyfriends don't really like it when you start something with them only to leave them. I think it hurts their feelings because then they would have to find another person or hope that you would come back soon. I decided to take a different route on Wednesday. Yesterday (Thursday) when I got on the bus, my bus boyfriend said, "We missed you yesterday!" I'm guessing that he means himself and the bus unless my bus boyfriend has multiple personalities. They will ask you where you've been if you're gone for even a day. Makes a gal feel special...Y'know?

4. Realize that your bus boyfriend is only your boyfriend on the bus.

C'mon, they don't want to marry you. Some of them have wives, girlfriends, KIDS. Then again, I once had a bus boyfriend buy me a birthday card, which was funky. Too bad I was out with my friends that night...He wasn't too happy about that. :-)

So my bus boyfriend...

I met him when I started temping at my current job. He drives the final bus of my night. Usually I'm listening to music so by the time I get on the bus, I'm just bubbly and stuff. lol

It started with us saying hello to each other and me giving him a big smile. Then it moved to us waving at him when I get off of the bus. I always sit in the back, that way I'm in front of the back door and it's easier for me to exit because no one really stands in the back, unless the bus is REALLY packed but that never happens. So before I exit, we look at each other and wave. And no, I don't do a normal wave...Hello he IS my bus boyfriend! I give him a cute smile and do a flirtacious wave, the kind you do with your fingers.

Finally, I knew he was my bus boyfriend when he drove past a bunch of people to stop in front of me. This is the true perk of having a bus boyfriend...Usually when it's FREEZING outside, you don't want to wait while people take their time getting on the bus and choosing their seats...NO, you want them to wait for you to take your time getting on the bus so you can smile and wink at your bus boyfriend before going to your regular seat! Before this started happening, he would stop near me, but never in front of me. I remember telling my roommate that I had to turn up my charm a little bit to take him out of the "bus buddy" category and move him to the "bus boyfriend" category. That took a few days. Bus boyfriends happen so easily...

Yesterday something interesting happened as I exited the bus. My bus boyfriend and I waved goodbye and I walked down the stairs. The bus was at a red light and I looked over at him and noticed that he was looking back at me, (oh wait, he was looking at me first and I tured to look at him) so I smiled back at him. It was dark so I doubt he noticed.

Bus boyfriends look out for you BIG TIME. They become concerned about your safety over the other commuters. If he sees that there will be ice in your path if he parks a certain way he will avoid that. In many cases, the other people will have an icy path unless they are using the same door that you are to exit. Yes I know, it sucks to be the other people, but it's their own faults...They didn't take time out to make this guy their bus boyfriend.

Bus boyfriends sometimes have more than 1 girlfriend, but that's okay, I have more than 1 bus boyfriend because I take different buses. As a matter of fact, I even have a bus girlfriend...But I don't flirt with her...Intentionally.

So in a way, the bus boyfriend relationship is beneficial to both parties. One party gets special treatment and protection while the other party gets a smile, some flirting, kindness, and someone who is helping them to add some flavor to their boring day.

That's awesome when you think about it. I'll think of you all when I see my bus boyfriend tonight.

Until then faithful 4 and others...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Smack WHAT???

2007-01-24T13:10:00.000-05:00

This morning started out as the usual morning...

I woke up around 5:30-ish because I decided to give myself a 1/2 hour grace time.

I took my shower but before hopping in, I turned on the radio. While getting dressed, there was a song that I had never heard before but it had an awesome beat, so I chose to ignore the lyrics and just dance. Well let's just say I got "smacked" by the following lyrics:

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.

Up front style. Ready to attack now.
Pull in the parking lot slow with the lack down.
Convicts got the whole thing packed down.
Step in the club. The wardrobe intact now.
I feel it. Go on and crack now.
Ooh, I see it. Don't let back now.
Im'a call her. Then I put the mack down.
Money? No problem. Pocket full of that now.

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.

Ooh! Looks like another club banger.
They better hang on.
When I throw this thang on.
Get a little drink on. They goin' flip.
For this Akon shit. You can bank on it.
Pedicure, manicure, kitty cat claws.
The way she climbs up and down them poles.
Lookin' like one of them Pretty Cat Dolls.
Tryna hold my woody back through my drawers.
Steps off stage, didn't think I saw her.
Creeps up behind me and she's like, you're -
I'm like, yeah I know, let's cut to the chase.
No time to waste. Back to my place.
Plus from the club to the crib's like a mile away.
Or more like a palace, shall I say.
And plus I got a pal. Every gal is game.
In fact he's the one singing the song that's playing!
(Akon!)

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh

Eminem's rollin', D an' them rollin'.
Boo an' Oh Marvelous an' them rollin'.
Women just hoin'.
Big booty rollin'.
Soon I be all in them an' throwin D.
Hittin' no less than 3.
Block will style like wee, wee.
Girl, I can tell you want me, 'cause lately.

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.

Look back and watch me
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.

Ummm...I never felt so violated! lol I literally flinched every time they said "smack that." I had a vision of a guy dancing behind me and doing that and that image is SO NOT COOL! I've had that happen before, not on the dance floor but some exes who thought it was cute and that I was going to giggle, but when they saw my face, they realized that it wasn't a good idea. One ignored my looks and did it anyway. He would catch me off guard. Now seriously, why would someone like that???

"I'm going to pretend like I'm your parent and smack your backside because you were bad!"

Okay, okay, sometimes I joke around with people and say, "So spank me...I've been naughty!" But that doesn't mean that I really want them to do it. As a matter of fact if they did do it, there might be a fight. Now the song is in my head and has been since 6 am today.

Moving on...

Sometimes I wish that there was a little microphone in my head so people would hear what I'm thinking. I truly believe that the thoughts in my mind are absolutely hilarious! As a matter of fact, sometimes I say them out loud only to get looks of surprise and stifled giggles. Like today...

Scenario 1:

I get on the bus to find that not only is there one baby carriage but there are 4! 4 baby carriages...Blocking the way to the back where there are mad empty seats. 4 baby carriages, 5 loud mothers, 4 babies and 1 toddler. My outside voice said, "Eh, I'll stand."

But my inner thoughts?

"Oh look, ignorance is breeding again. None of this would happen if my plan to have people fill out applications to be parents were approved. Those women would be temporarily have their tubes tied until they are able to have kids and raise them respectfully. (WARNING!!! What I'm about to say next is VERY mean) Perhaps if they spend more time being courteous and less time spreading their legs, they wouldn't be 20 years old with 2+ kids. (Okay, sometimes the inner voice is mean too). I'm not going to swear...I'm not going to swear...I'm not going to-Oh look! A seat! MINE!!!!!"

Scenario 2:

*Quietly reading a book*

Inner thoughts:

"Man, bras suck sometimes! I so wanna fix myself but if I do then some guy would end up looking my way and he'll think that I'm hitting on him! When I see a man adjust his crotch, I don't think he's trying to seduce me. If anything, I think...'Okay so I'm NOT shaking your hand!' So fine, I will sit here with this under wire poking me and most likely uneven boobs. I'm SO glad I'm wearing a coat right now. Hmmm...Maybe I can fix it? Nah, I won't. It's just not worth it..."

Okay, so that one was TMI but whatever...It's not like some of you gals had to deal with it.

TANGENT ALERT!!!!

I was thinking about this while using the bathroom...lol.

Okay, the one thing that I REALLY hate doing at the doctor's is peeing in a cup! I'm only talking about this because right about now, I feel like I'm the ONLY one with this experience but I bet others have felt the same way...So as usual...I'll put myself out there. Eh, who cares???

Peeing in a Cup:

I HATE doing it! I hate it more than I hate the gynecologists! Hmmm...Notice that both deal with a certain area? Okay, I won't go there...

Anyhoo...The reason why I hate peeing in a cup is because I've had so many bad experiences!

1. I hadn't had to do it in a long time so when the nurse handed me the cups and alcohol wipes, I thought that the wipes were given to me because I needed to wipe down the cup after I used it. So I did it...Wiped the cup down and I handed it into the nurse. Well, I received a letter stating that my sample was contaminated and I didn't know why until I explained it to my mom who laughed at me and told me that I did it wrong.

2. Well I went back to give a new sample...*sigh* I filled the cup and as I tried to bring the cup out, I smacked my fingers on the rim of the toilet and knocked it back in. lol I'm not sure that I swore...But I'm pretty sure that I was close to it.

3. One time while bringing the cup out it fell...In my pants...

Luckily for me, there wasn't much in there.

4. Set it on the edge of a sink...It fell in the sink.

So...Do you see why I hate it so much?! Why does the cup have to be so little??? Why can't they give you like a plastic bowl like thingy? Why can't they rig up something so that all you have to do is set the bowl there and let 'er rip? lol

Is that so hard??? I don't think so! The way I see it is...These folks look forward to torturing us...Well women because I doubt men have a hard time. All you have to do is set your junk in there and release. (Man...I'm SUCH a lady!) lol

TANGENT ALERT!!!!

Can I be a bit honest here? (As if I haven't been already)

Why is it that when I meet other folks who aren't my race they find the fact that I rock my hair naturally so cool, yet when I encounter other black folks I'm told to get a perm or that my hair is nappy (which is a derogatory word...Considering that I can run my fingers through my hair without them getting stuck)?

I hate perms. I had one when I was younger because my mom didn't want to do my hair but I felt like my hair was dead. It didn't match me at all. I had to spend more time doing it and I so didn't like that so I ended up wearing bandanas and hats to cover it up. Now that it's all natural and curly, I love it! I can do more with it now than I could when it was straight. I'm not knocking those who have perms...All I'm saying is, stop sweating my natural look! ;-) It takes a certain person to pull it off and baby that's ME!

YES ANOTHER TANGENT!!!

I decided that I didn't want to be black anymore. And no, I don't want to be white or any other race. I want to be my own color. If there was a way that I could tint my skin another color I would...I wouldn't let just anyone be this color. This color would go to those who are tired of the racial lines. You might say, "Well Max, if you change your color, then you would be creating a new race therefore enhancing the racial lines instead of demolishing them." To that I say, not necessarily. You are what you identify yourself as and what you allow others to identify you as. I wouldn't let anyone try to create a new race out of my experiment. When filling out surveys, we would put the race that we were born as to head off confusion or a label.

I'm just tired of my race...Anyone else tired of theirs?

Let me know...I'm looking to form a posse...lol.

Until then faithful 4 and others...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

I SO wanna crawl back into bed!

2007-01-23T09:27:00.000-05:00

Eh...It's only 9:30 am and I am already regretting leaving my house. Have you ever had one of those days? First, *rolls eyes* it began when I got on the bus. Of COURSE my favorite people with the baby carriages were on there but what makes matters worse is the fact that one of them was taking up 3 seats...So I had to stand...While she took up three seats. One for herself, one for the blankets that she uses on her child and the third one was blocked by the carriage. Three seats...*sigh*

I'm not even going to sweat it. I'm going to leave my revenge up to karma or the seeds that she sowed today by being inconsiderate towards me and other people.

Today I also fell...lol. Wait...Before I get into this, let me address a few folks:

Scott: Don't worry, I'm fine, I swear.

Mom: I know, I should pay attention when I walk.

Kelly: Shut up. (She's cracking up at this)

Everyone else: I'm sore but okay.

Now here's the story:

I was walking to work and it's not slippery at all. It's snowing and stuff but the cobblestones in Downtown Boston didn't prevent me from walking normally. I got near my building and I made the mistake of walking over a metal plate (normally I avoid them). I took a few steps before I fell. Forward...For those who want to know. I ALWAYS fall forward...lol.

I guess one guy saw me fall. He came out and helped me out. Nice guy, cute too...But trust me, I wasn't thinking about that. I got to work and at first my hands hurt a bit, but now my knees are starting to bother me a little bit. Eh, so are my arms and my ankle...lol. But I swear that's it. Nothing says, "WAKE UP" like a fall in the morning.

Now...I must excuse myself. I have to pop some pills.

I'm fine, I swear. I'm not hurt...Nor is my pride. Though my clothes are a bit stiff (the salt that they put on the ground to melt the snow and to prevent ice).

Until next time faithful 4 and the rest of y'all!

Love, Peace, and Hair grease!

Expression Through Song

2007-01-17T09:20:00.000-05:00

So I'm kinda agitated this morning and I need to vent. I figured that the best way to get out my agression would be to exercise my creativity. So I am going to express my annoyance through song.

"Annoying Things" (Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music")

Babies in buses with very huge carriage
Mothers with 2 or 3 kids without marriage
Actin' all ignorant and talking 'bout bling
These are a some very annoy-oying things!

Staring at me with faces fill with 'tude
It's 9 degrees outside and that killed my mood
Kids only babies yet they're wearing gold rings
These are some very annoy-oying things!

Talking real loud filling the air with clutter
My presence they see and they all start to mutter
Can't beat them in public so I quietly sing
These are some very annoy-oying things!

When it's freezing
When I'm cranky
When I'm feeling mad
I simply remember annoy-oying things
And um, I still feel soooooo mad!

*giggles*

Now I feel better!

Until next time faithful 4 and others...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!

More pics 2....

2007-01-08T18:39:00.000-05:00

Angry Troll: The Ending

2007-01-08T18:07:00.000-05:00

So...

My nephew, Isaiah, was picked up today around 11:00 am. I'm surely going to miss him but he left me a little something...

His cold.

Darn kids. Seriously, I think that if they drop their pacifier and it gets dirty, then they shouldn't get that pacifier anymore. I shouldn't have to clean it off using my mouth! My mouth isn't self-cleaning! I can feel the itchiness in the back of my throat, my nose, and the roof of my mouth. Good times...

Also, I learned a few things about Angry Trolls:

1. They HATE getting their hair done. Kelly (my roommate and I) had the most horrible experience with Mr. Isaiah during bath time when Aunty Max decided to wash his hair. Let's just say three people were soaked when they walked out of that bathroom. He started screaming and crying. And I'm sorry, but when a child looks so pitiful and they reach up to me, I HAVE to pick him up but he wasn't finished with his bath. So I held him as Kelly draped a towel over him, the heat was turned on, and the door was closed. *sigh* It broke our hearts so much that we swore we would NEVER do his hair ever again, unless it's shaving it off because little boys who HATE to have their hair done shouldn't have long hair. OH wait, correction...Little boys shouldn't have long hair! lol I had to put his hair in afro puffs and let me tell you, his mother liked it. Even talked about doing it herself to his hair. Poor Isaiah...It's my fault that you will end up looking like a little girl, but then again...I hate cornrows on men, so I couldn't take looking at his hair any longer.

2. Absolutely hate naps! They can be dead tired, fussing, falling all over the place but if you lay them down, they will start hollering! Where do they get the energy from?!!?!?!?!??!?!

3. If you tell an Angry Troll no, they will try to make you jealous. Sheesh, he would go straight to Kelly and cuddle with her. Eh, I can't blame him though...I think I would do the same thing if I were him.

4. If an Angry Troll has a cold, you have a cold. I'm waiting to see if my roommate has a cold. Seriously, I don't know how many times we had to stop that boy from eating his own snot. Then for his Aunty, of COURSE he wanted to share his pacifier with her, so I took it.

5. No matter what, Angry Trolls will smile for the camera...Well except when he was crying.

6. When they leave, you will miss the Angry Troll. :-)

4 days and 3 nights down...None to go!

Faithful 4 *winks*

Everyone else *nods head*

I have to go and take care of this cold...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

2 days down...1 to go...

2007-01-06T17:33:00.000-05:00

Why does Isaiah look like a troll doll when he cries? I try my HARDEST not to giggle but deep down inside I find it amusing. I guess today was a "hissy fit" day. He's overly tired or overly rested, I can't tell (what? It's not like I have kids!!!) but this morning he was swatting at me. Then he would cry. The afternoon he was lovey dovey, but then he would cry...And J.Timberlake help me (sorry, it's cracking me up) if I try to wash the boy's face or clean his nose.

When he cries he sounds like he's saying "Oooooooooooooooooooow!" His little face begins to turn red and if he had cat ears, they would be pointing down. Since he's usually on my lap or on the bed or in a baby grip (don't ask) I'm always looking down at him. He's just adorable.

Okay, well I put the tub tying places on speed dial. I think after this experience, they are going to get a lil phone call. As I look around my room...I remember when it used to look like a 28 year old lived here and not a 1 year old. lol

I am still determined to win this battle! I will be victorious.

Oh and by the way, my "mom" muscles are getting an awesome workout. Today he got benchpressed several times. Maybe I should borrow kids just to work out my mom muscles. That might be fun.

Well he's napping now, I'm sorry, but if a baby is fussing and crying for no apparent reason...
If their eyes are droopy and they can barely stand...

I don't care if it's their 3rd nap of the day, they are going down!

"Oh but Max, he's going to sleep later."

Not really. You see, I run him around like crazy. That makes him sleepy. That makes me free.

I have stuff to do before the angry troll wakes up and that includes changing shirts. lol

Until then faithful 4 and others...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

Eyes her cellphone with a gleam in her eyes.

Don't think I won't do it!

More pics...

2007-01-05T13:33:00.000-05:00

Takes after his Auntie I see!

Isaiah

2007-01-05T13:07:00.000-05:00

Okay...

So the first round goes to me. I tired him out and then put him to sleep. It was a good job if I say so myself, but now he's getting his energy back while I sit here yawning. Sheesh, this is what I get for only having 3 hours of sleep while taking care of my 1 year old nephew. But don't worry...

When he wakes up...It's on! I'll give him more fruit, play with him until he's tired again, but this time I won't have him go to sleep until his bedtime at 8 pm. That's when babies get the TKO! Hot bath, pjs, warm bed...They can't resist that. Hmmm...This is easier than I thought. His mom dropped him off, he didn't freak out, which is strange considering that he wasn't used to me. But so far, I've received 3 hugs and 3 "pick me ups." You know...the one where they lift their arms up?

I have him the ENTIRE weekend and so I think my blog should center around him. Look at that punum!!! Why shouldn't it?!

Okay, I have to go...I think he might be waking up soon.

Round 1 Winner: The Aunty!!!!

Don't get me wrong...I know I have a few more rounds to go, but I'm waiting for him to wake up so I can catch my second wind.

My motherly feelings are kicking in...

*Starts twitching*

Oh crap.

Until next time 4 faithful readers and others (Who constantly surprise me everytime)

Love, Peace, and Hair grease!

Oh and Baby shoes...

Dreams

2006-12-26T14:04:00.000-05:00

Hello 4 faithful readers (and the rest),

I know that usually I jump on this thing and rant, but today, I'm sorta rantless (Well...you never know. I might have a rant stored up) because I just have a question.

How much stock should we put into our dreams?

I mean, I had a doozy of a dream dealing with vampires and TRUST me, I don't EVER want that dream to happen. I would tell you, but um, only 4 people know that dream and it needs to stay that way. Trust me, those 4 people are still wishing that I never shared that dream with them.

But what about dreams that are real? You like a guy, he likes you, and both had dreams where things didn't work out. Is that a sign? God telling you that it ain't gonna happen? What is it?

I once had a dream that my ex was cheating on me and it was true. In the dream I was at this karaoke bar that I used to go to all the time while in college (so what? I'm hooked) and I looked across the room and there he was hugged up on some girl. I walked out of the bar on my side and walked back into the bar on his side. I went up to him and asked him what was going on and she said, "What are you talking about? I was here first." Turns out that that was the case. He was with another person (who was pregnant) before he started chasing me. Psychic powers? Nah, I don't believe in that stuff. God telling me that something wasn't right? Oh I believe that...

But there are some dreams that aren't meant to be true. They are just our minds thinking and if your mind is like mine, your dreams are VERY movie like. I can go to the bathroom and my dream will resume because I willed it to. Or if I'm having a nightmare, I can bend the dream to my will and all of a sudden I'm in a meadow playing. Sometimes if I have a dream where something bad goes wrong, I rewind and play the dream the way I want it to be. In my eyes, these are my dreams and they should give me what I want.

What? It's TRUE! Though there are some dreams that I just let run.

So, how much stock should I put unto my dreams? How about you faithful 4? How much do you put in your dreams? For those who might read this too, how about you?

All right, I have to end this. Once again I got caught up in "business" so my body is reminding me that I haven't eaten yet...So sue me, but I should probably eat now.

I'm searching for a rant...*searching*

Nothing yet, though...

My friend Avery and I are planning on having a bad movie fest this Thursday, so trust me...There will be several rants waiting for you guys on Friday! :)

Yes, yes I know that I'm only setting myself up to be agitated...but c'mon, some movies are SO bad that they deserve to be made fun of.

Oh wait...

It's Kwanzaa *gag* (http://dimplesz78.blogspot.com/2006/10/kwanzaawhy.html)

That's all I'm going to say. *sigh*

*feels rant*

The part that REALLY bothers me about this freakin' holiday is that everyone expects me to partake of the holiday!!!! Just because I'm black that doesn't mean I do Kwanzaa. I'm not judging others who do. I'm just saying in my opinion...Well follow the link and you'll see my opinion.

All right, still hungry here, yet still typing. You know...Sometimes eating bothers me! My system always gets hungry at the worst times! lol I'm going to get yelled at for that statement, I know, but it's true! Why can our bodies be like a tv. When I want to eat I hit a button...When I don't want to eat, I keep my stomach off. That would work SO much better for me!

Perhaps I should put in a request to the Man in the clouds? He would just laugh at me.

Tomorrow's topic:

Always the Non-Conformist...Never Goes Along for the Ride

Until then faithful 4 and others!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

So it is Christmas...

2006-12-25T13:51:00.000-05:00

In my 28 years of being on this earth, I finally had a Christmas where I got to sleep in late and plan my own day. I like this...I like this a lot. *smiles*

Down to business! :-)

Okay, so let's take a crack at some of the Christmas songs that we sing and that we teach our children to sing. There aren't too many that bother me actually...Well, I guess if I REALLY wanted to I could make a stink about every song, but I'm not like that. Although, I do have request for a song that I totally wasn't thinking about but now that this person has put the song in my head, I HAVE to do it first!

Winter Wonderland:
(It starts off sweet. Describing a perfect and beautiful place but then...)

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
we'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
when you're in town.

Later on, we'll conspire,
as we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
the plans that we've made,
walking in a winter wonderland.

Okay first of all, who is Parson Brown you ask. Well, I took the liberty and looked him up. Guess what? There IS NO Parson Brown, like an actor or a singer or an athelete. Parson is used to refer to a clergy man. So...These women are building a snowman in the image of a priest and forcing him to marry them. Hmmm....

Let's talk about this marriage. How desperate are you that you end up marrying a snowman? Where are all the men? Are these women SO hideous that they can't find a man to marry them? They had to build a man (in the image of a respected man of God) and then force him to marry them. I mean, the snowman didn't even have a chance to chill and um, since when do snowmen talk?! "And you can do the job while you're in town." Where the heck is the snowman going?! Is he going to say, "Ooops! Spring is approaching! I must go to the North Pole but I shall return!" Uh no. He's going to melt.

"Later on we'll conspire as we sit by the fire." First of all, simple rules of science have concluded that ice + heat = the physical state of the ice changing into water, but honestly that's not the part that cracks me up. Why are you conspiring with a snowman? Since the snowman is made after a clergy man, would it conspire? I think not! And um, how did you get the snowman to the crib? Why are you nuzzling up to a block of ice? WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A REAL MAN IN YOUR CRIB?! Honestly, I'm single at this point, but I'm NOT so desperate that I need to build a fake man out of the snow and do things to him. Though, if I did...I think I would make that snowman in the image of...The Rock! But that would be too much snow and I think one of my friends would have tackled me because at that point I would have officially lost my darn mind!

There's one more line that bothers me:

"We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way"

Ummm...stereotype maybe? I'm not an Eskimo, but I'm pretty sure that NOT all Eskimos frolic and play. Does that writer of this song know ALL Eskimos? Exactly...

Moving on!!!

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause:

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
down the stairs to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked
up in my bedroom fast asleep.
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.

The song should be called, "I saw Mommy cheating on Daddy."

Why is this little kid happy? I come from a single parent home but if I saw my mother cheating on my father, there will be some problems. Some serious serious problems.

Some might argue that the kid knew it was his father, but I say no. If the kid found out it was his father, that boy would have been upset because his parents lied to him and more upset that there wasn't a Santa. C'mon people and we are teaching our kids these song? "Son, if you ever see me kissing Santa, don't tell Daddy, just sit there and watch."

Is anyone else grossed out at that thought? I know I am. Let's look at the last 3 lines please.

Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.

I don't think Daddy would be laughing. Honestly, I think Daddy would be arrested that night if he found his wife kissing Santa Claus. Daddy would have hurled a few curse words at Mommy while hurting Santa Claus. There would be nothing cute about the situation. Yet, I see little kids singing this all the time. Even the Jackson 5 sang this song when they were younger. In the end Michael goes, "I'm gonna tell my daddy!" You darn tootin! Tell your Father! Your Mother is cheating! And what kind of behavior is this encouraging????

Mommy is giggling, kissing, and touching Santa and the little kid watches? Sounds like we have a little psycho in training.

But I digress...

This last song, I'm going to do piece by piece because it is utterly disturbing...lol.

Grandma Got ran over by a Reindeer:

Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.
She'd been drinking too much eggnog,
and we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication, and she
staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
she had hoof-prints on her forehead,
and incriminating Claus marks on her back.

First, Grandma is minding her own business and she's assaulted by reindeer, but what bothers me the most is Grandma is drunk. So she's drunk and going to get her meds. Uhhhh, since when can you take your meds with alcohol? If Grandma didn't die from the reindeer, she would have died from mixing medicine and alcohol! Are you kidding me? And why does Grandma have hoof prints on her forehead AND Claus marks on her back? Did they run Grandma over and then carried her body under them while they kept going? Did Santa get out and do something to Grandma so she wouldn't tell on him? Something is a bit suspicious here, doncha think?

Now we're all so proud of grandpa,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching football,
drinking root beer and
playing cards with Cousin Mel.
It's not Christmas without Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts,
or send them back?
Send them back!!

Wait wait wait! Stop the presses!!!! So, everyone is proud of Grandpa. He just lost his wife to some freaky accident involving Santa and reindeer, but he's taking this so well? I think Grandpa is tied up in this conspiracy! He has some 20 year old chick waiting for him back at his house. Who sits there drinking root beer, watching football, and playing cards with Cousin Mel (who I think is also involved in this conspiracy, heck I think the ENTIRE family is involved) 1 day after losing your wife (or husband).

The ENTIRE family is dressed in black yet they are still openeing up gifts AND they are wondering if they should keep her gifts or send them back? WHO HAS CHRISTMAS WHEN THEIR LOVED ONE WAS BRUTALLY MURDERED? I think the writer of this song was seriously drunk or high when he wrote it. Oh but wait...There's more...

Now the goose is on the table
and the pudding made of fig
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched
the hair on grandma's wig.
I've warned all my
friends and neighbors
better watch out for yourselves,
they should never give a license
to a man who drives a sleigh
and plays with elves.

So um...Is it me, or are they still continuing on with Christmas? Seems to me like they are still having dinner. They are still um, celebrating...While Grandma's cold body is in the ground with a hoof print on her forehead and weird marks on her back. I think this family hired a wanna be Santa to run Grandma down. I think they got her drunk on purpose. That way, if the hired Santa didn't kill her, taking her meds with alcohol in her system would. Once Grandma dies, they continue on with Christmas...How cold and evil does THAT sound?!

But it's a Christmas classic.

That's it for my Christmas song rant. It appears that I have a new faithful reader I would like to say, "Welcome to my insanity Funkette!"

Until next time 4 faithful readers (I'm getting more faithful readers) and everyone one else...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!

All I Want For Christmas...

2006-12-24T15:03:00.000-05:00

So, I FINALLY have my Christmas plans all set. Yup, I'll be spending Christmas alone. Now, now...Before you guys get all sentimental and I start receiving invites to Christmas via my cellphone and email, I WANT to spend Christmas alone. I'm serious. I told my mom that and she's mad cool with that. Now, before I answer my door only to find a suicide hotline on the other side...

No I'm not depressed.

I just want a quiet Christmas. I really do. Kel and I decorated our tree. I hung up my Christmas stocking and cards...My little Christmas figurines are out (Thanks to Judy and Hallmark), but that's all I want to do. Honestly. I appreciate the symbolism of this holiday, but that's it. I've done no Christmas shopping and I've made no Christmas requests (unless you want to offer me a a job for Christmas). I did receive my first Christmas ornament from a friend (thanks Scottie!!!!) and that's hanging on the tree...So YAY! I have an ornament to call my own!

So yes for the first time in 28 years, I will be chillin by myself for Christmas. I mean, my best friend wants to come over but she doesn't want to follow my rules for not mentioning the holiday, so she'll end up being locked out. (You know it's true Gaetane!) lol

I just had a thought. Sometimes our minds and I bodies act a certain way because they prepare for something. I'm not depressed, I'm not angry, I just don't want to be around people tomorrow. That doesn't make me antisocial, I mean...I do want to do First Night for New Years Eve, but for some reason...Christmas = alone. So now I'm wondering, what does my mind and body know that I don't know? Does that sound weird? But it happens all the time with us. For example, all of a sudden you notice that you are sleeping more. You don't understand why, you've been sleeping regularly and sleeping well at that. You haven't changed activities, yet you find yourself drowsy during the day and taking long naps on the weekends. You wonder why...

Until you get hit with a cold or an infection. That's right, your mind was telling your body to fight the bacteria that's trying to invade your system. So in order for your body to do it's job, you needed to sleep more. You needed to rest more and not be running around everywhere. That's an example of your mind and body knowing something that you don't.

Okay everyone chill! I'm not dying! Oh goodness, I just had an image of my cellphone ringing because the 3 people who read this blog religiously are freaking out. Then those three will tell three more and those three will tell three more and so on...

Gosh, you know what? My social circle has shrunk DRASTICALLY. I remember when I was 20, my friend Maya said to me, "As you get older, your social circle shrinks." I thought she was insane because while at Northeastern University...I was popular. A huge university and a lot of people either knew me or of me. So every now and then, my friends would accuse me of knowing everyone. I'm not sure if I acted this out for y'all...But I'll do it again because it's hilarious to me.

Friend: Gosh Max! Do you know everyone?!

Me: What? Don't be silly! I don't know everyone!

Random Person: Hey Max!

Me: What's up homey! (Most likely I didn't know their name...What? I'm bad with names!)

Friend: See? You know everyone!

Me: I do NOT know everyone!

(Random person comes up to me and kisses my cheek)

Random person: Hey Max!

Me: Hey (instert name here, Hey if they are kissing my cheek...You darn tootin' I know their name!)!!

Friend: Right, so you don't know everyone! (rolls eyes)

Me: Just because three people said hi to me, that doesn't mean I know everyone on this campus!

(3-5 random people walk by and greet me)

Friend: (giggling) Just give up! You're proving me right!

(This is when I get a little bit quiet and wait for us to reach a less populated area)

Me: I don't know everyone!

(My friend and I wait for someone to greet me, but no one does)

Me: SEE!!!! (smiles big)

Friend: Whatever!

End Scene
------------------

Hmmm...

I just took a long hiatus doing this and now I lost the urge to finish this, so it's ending now. I'll return tomorrow! Tomorrow I shall talk about disturbing Christmas songs!

Until then faithful readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

How Flaky?

2006-12-16T14:56:00.000-05:00

You know what? I'm flaky. Yup, I am. Sure, those who remember me from college are probably choking on whatever is in their mouths right about now because in college I was either in class, a meeting, or helping someone out with their issues. I barely had "me" time and I paid dearly for that. Shoot, I'm STILL trying to get over the effects of my college years, but I will just you wait and see!

But seriously, when it comes to my social calendar I'm SO flaky it's not even funny and you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm SINGLE...I have the luxury to sleep to 1 pm, stay up until 5 am, eat cereal late at night...stuff like that and I don't want to give it up. Sometimes I'm feeling very sociable and so I do something. Other than those times, I just want to be alone, maybe doing things that I want to do and sitting in silence. Lately I've been teaching myself the guitar, writing more, doing random art projects around my house, just catching up with myself. Finding out who is this Max person...what does she like...who does she like...if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there does she care if it makes a sound? Those thoughts are important when you're 28 and single. When you've given yourself to others for 10 years and basically got nothing back from the masses, there comes a time when you need to be a bit selfish. I can't be selfish when I get married because then that marriage would end. Who wants to be married to a selfish person? It's not fair for the other person especially if they are a giver.

Hold on...Mom is at the front door. *crosses her fingers and braces herself for the calamity that only her mother can bring*

Okay, done. She was reasonable so it was all good.

Anywhoo...

Back to me. I'm actually happy that I'm not married yet. If I had gotten married at 23 or 24, that poor guy would have to deal with my growing pains. In other words, I would go from being sucked dried from people who only had their best interests in mind to being with a guy who loves me a lot but for me, sure I would love him, but I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I wouldn't know myself either. Perhaps the reason why I went through so many career changes is because I wanted to please others. Do I know what I want to be now? Nope, I see myself being a floater for the next 20 years of my life. You know, try out one field for 5 years and then switching or who knows? I might find one career and say, "This is it!" I don't know.

So to all of my friends who wonder why I disappear for long periods of time I'm not going to apologize. If I did, I would be lying and I don't like lying. So to you guys I say, "I'll catch ya sometime in the future! I'm okay, still alive, I'm still the Max that you remember BUT this Max needs to look after Max for a bit."

My mother looks at my masters degree as a waste of time because I don't plan to do anything in that field anymore, but I see it as a time where I lived by myself and I began to pick myself apart even when I thought I didn't have the strength. A lot has changed in me and I like the change.

So yes, I'm flaky! I'm as flaky as a pie crust! And for once in my life, I'm not going to feel guilty about it. In the future there is going to be a husband whose feelings I'll have to consider and babies who will take a lot of my attention. I'm preparing for those times, I'm getting flaky all out of my system!

For my married friends and those with children, try to remember how you were when you were single and don't try to push things on me. Just let me float and flake...that's all I ask.

Okay, I still have art projects that are staring at me and begging me to finish them. *sigh* So I guess I'll get to them RIGHT now. Well unless something else pops in my head, then I'll do that first and probably something after, then I'll do my art projects tomorrow. lol

Until then my non-flaky and flaky readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Can you hear me?!

2006-12-08T17:22:00.000-05:00

So...

I guess this is where I update you all on my life or mi vida loca! *cues Ricky Martin dancers*

*starts to sing*
She makes you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain!
She'll make you live her crazy life where she'll take away your pain!
Like a bullet to your brain! (C'mon!)
Upside inside out!
She's livin' la vida loca!
She'll push and pull you out!
Livin' la vida loca!
Her lips are devil red!
And her skin's the color mocha!

Wait, I guess I should say that at the moment I can't sing right? I have NO voice! I can't even talk to myself!!! Today on the radio, of course they played all of the songs that I LOVE to sing to...Oh the humanity!!!! lol Oh yea also something feasted on my leg about a week ago and I got a horrible infection from it! *giggles* Can I help it? I guess I look delicious! Now I can hear some of you guys now:

Why didn't you tell me you were sick?

Oh? Did I mention that I had to go to the hospital? The emergency room. Three things you DON'T want to hear while you're in the emergency room:

1. You're a bleeder! I heard that as my blood splattered everywhere!

2. If that infection doesn't clear up...You have to run to the nearest emergency room!

3. Are you Maxie? Your mother is on the phone.

Yup, I heard them ALL. The last one made me say, "Oh for the love of! No I don't want to talk to her!!!" That made the doctors crack up. They were all Residents, so I'm glad I was able to make them laugh.

3 things that you don't want to see while you're in the hospital:

1. A woman go into the emergency room and then her man scanning the room for another woman.

2. People who came in 1 hour after you walking in first.

3. A 40-ish woman standing in front of you pull down her jeans partially to reveal a black thong, with a red bow, and a bell on it. To add insult to injury she starts to wiggle her behind to make the bell ding...OMG, shoot me now! She was showing her friends, I just so happened to be the innocent bystander. Talk about wishing to be blind.

"Oh but Max! Why didn't you tell me that you were in the emergency room! I'm SO mad at you!"

Look...

People fuss over me ALL the time! I don't like being fussed over...lol (I'll admit, to some extent it's cute! Like when a guy you like starts to fuss over you to make sure that you're taking care of yourself. That's cute. I like that. lol). I'm not going to become a Debbie Downer (SNL skit). What would you do if I called you EVERY time something bad happened to me? I bet you'll stop taking my phone calls, huh??? Admit it! Besides, I'm fine. I didn't need a kidney or anything! I'm not waiting for a new pair of lungs or anything. If I were in those situations, then you guys will be called. Shoot, you might be the right match for me!

Eh, do I feel like continuing with this blog? I guess...

So my mom tells me that if I don't find a job by March, then I HAVE to come home. Ummm...can we say scary??? lol If I ever had to move home, I would curl up on my bed and stay that way until I DIED! Just smother me right now...Seriously....That's what I feel like when I think about living with my mom again. I don't know why but she keeps junkin' up my funk!!! I'm SO funky and then she calls me....Then the funk flees. How RUDE!

So...What to do?

Well I wanted to be a pole dancer, but my friend Scott (*hugs*) talked me out of it. Besides, I know most of my friends would come down to my show only to drag my tuckus off of the stage where they will then proceed to stomp me in the middle of the floor.

Then there's being a phone sex operator but I swear, I would end up laughing at those guys' suggestions. "You want me to do what with your what and a WHAT?" lol

I thought about working at a fast food joint but um, no....I would kill people with the plastic utensils in the first month! Heck no, the first hour.

I could get a sugar daddy and replace his viagra with sleeping pills. (Yes I thought it out) But then again, I don't want some 80 year old touching me. I'm sorry, if you can't bend over and touch your toes with ease, then I don't want you. lol

I could become a...ewwww, I'm not even going to FINISH that thought!

I heard that a woman can get 5,000 for her eggs. So since I have 2 eggs...well until my next menses cycle, I could get 10,000. That could last me a LONG time!

Oh! Then there's robbing a bank! Case a joint, then rob it the third day later. That would be awesome!

Hmmmm...

Or I could sell ALL of my possessions and live in my current apartment and sleep on the floor! THAT will work!!!!

ANYTHING TO NOT GO HOME!!!!

I don't think anyone wants to hire me in Boston. It's their loss actually but I just want to work at a job that I LOVE! I don't want to suffocate at a place where I won't be happy, which is why I left Higher Education. Hmmmm...Any suggestions???

Until next time mah gorgeous readers!!!!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

Super Temps

2006-11-19T18:49:00.001-05:00

So...

A friend of mine introduced me to his web comic. I've been following it for months now and I figured, why not share this with my friends.

And now...
(Y Ahora)

We are going to see...
(Vamos a ver)

Another SHAMELESS PLUG!
(Otro enchufe sin vergüenza) Which literally means another plug without shame.

Click the picture and you will see a bigger and clearer version of it.

I love Super Temps. Why you ask? You gotta love a cute person who HATES to hear that she is cute! Molly (a.k.a. Skull Girl) reminds me of myself. Besides who DOESN'T love a comic that is intellectually hilarious?

Check it out y'all. You might feel the same way. If you don't follow these steps.

Step 1: Raise your strongest hand (depending on which one you write with)

Step 2: Stretch out the arm that your strongest hand is connected to.

Step 3: SMACK YOURSELF SILLY!

Step 4: REPEAT until you knock some sense into yourself. OR until you knock yourself silly.

If you want more, follow the link:

http://megaskunjii.comicgenesis.com/

Check it out. Scott Kinoshita is very talented and you all know that I DON'T throw that word around at all.

Now, I'm off to do a rant in another post. See you all soon!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

2 Days...

2006-11-19T18:31:00.000-05:00

So in honor of my birthday, which is in two days, I figured I should do a rant on this bad boy. I'm not sure what I want to rant about, so I figured I would keep this opened until I have purged all of my insides. Sounds gross huh?

Rant #1:

Lips of an Angel
By Hinder

Okay, so this song ANNOYS me to the point that I want to find these guys and pull out every strand of hair on their bodies! One by one...

The part that bothers me the most is, woman like this song! The radio station that I listen to mentioned that women LOVED this song! Before I go off on it, let me give you the lyrics (with my own commentary after it):

Honey why are you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those wordsa it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it so hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why are you calling me so late

Let's talk women...

Why are women liking this song?! I'll tell you why! It's because in their twisted little minds, they believe that they are the woman on the phone INSTEAD of the woman in the other room. How stupid is that? Yea I said it. The truth is the majority of these women ARE indeed the woman in the other room and it sickens me that they wish they were the woman on the phone! Let me tell you what will happen to you if you are the woman on the phone...

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

Do you REALLY want to know?

Okay, you asked for it...

If he leaves the woman in the living room for you...Again, let me state this again...

IF he leaves the woman in the living room for you...(because most of the time, you will be content with him cheating on you, so he will end up playing you like a straight up sucka telling you that he is going to leave the woman in the living room and you're going to believe him...Oh trust me, you will. Stop lying to yourselves...YOU WILL!)

So...where was I?

Oh yea, if he leaves the woman in the living room for you...You and him will have a blissful coexistance...that is...until...

You become the woman in the living room...while he's talking to another chick.

That's reality...but no, these women want to have a "Lips of an Angel" and they want to help a man cheat on his girl. I would apologize for calling these women stupid, but why lie? You guys know I'm being serious. In my eyes, when a man acts like an ass towards women, it's because SOMEWHERE in his life a woman taught him that his stupid behavior was acceptable. Whether it was his mom, a sister, grandmother, girlfriend, friend, WHATEVER! By loving this song and increasing it's ratings what the heck are women telling men? And you KNOW it's women who are buying up this song!

Everytime I hear that song, I get pissed. I actually limit my radio usage because why waste my time getting upset? It's so not kosher!

All right, I'm empty. For now.

To my lovely readers I say...

Until next time :-)

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Random Thoughts

2006-11-06T10:46:00.000-05:00

Random Thought #1:

Impatient people suck big, hairy, greasy balls!

Random Thought #2:

I hate this time of year. It's all about the election polls. It is during this time of the year that I am reminded that my own government is screwing me over. Literally raping me...without lubrication. Sounds horrible? Well it is.

Random Thought #3:

Today I put on sneakers and not my flip flops. Winter is truly on it's way. I'm now sad. *sigh*

Random Thought #4:

I am now 27.95 years old. YAY! 3.05 more years until I'm 30 and trust me I am looking foward to it!

Random Thought #5:

People really like to treat temps like they are idiots. Luckily for them, I don't feel like proving how intelligent I am...or do I?

Though, today I did speak with someone in the office. She took the time to ask me about my education, etc. She also told me that her husband was once a temp and he was shocked at how many people tried to treat him like an idiot. Then she said that I was, "obviously intelligent." Heh, and I wasn't even wearing my "smart" glasses.

Random Thoguht #6:

I am not listening to "Careless Wispers" by Wham! (George Michael's group) It's reminding me about the times when my roommate and I used to go to this bar near Northeastern University for karaoke night and there was this guy there who ALWAYS sang this song. He once told me that he was a "white boy with a lot of rhythm." I actually thought he was a "white boy with a lot of horniness." You haven't seen this song performed until you see him grinding on every girl in the audience. Um, let's just say my roommate and I strategically chose our locations.

Random Thought #7:

I'm actually going to take a break from this. I have a feeling that there are more random thoughts but waking up at 6 am is killing my random juices.

Random Thought #8:

I've been working on the same short story for the past few months. The stupid thing won't flow! FLOW gosh golly darn heck!!! FLOW!!!!!!!! I recently changed all of the names, but I will probably change them again.

Random Thought #9:

I'm now listening to "Natural Woman" by Aretha Franklin. I think I'll give Jay a call so I can sing it to him. I used to dedicate this song to him in college.

Random Thought #10:

Now that I found out the answer to my question about corn and why it comes out whole once it's digested, I feel the need to develop another question to ask people, though I doubt any of them will hold a candle to my corn question. Man...Any suggestions?

Random Thought #11:

I'm starting to become a stickler for the way I converse online thanks to a certain person who ALWAYS has to capitalize the beginning of his sentences and use punctuations. Gee, thanks. :-P

Random Thought #12:

I used to hate my arm hair. I did everything to get rid of it but now I think I'm FINALLY accepting it. It's not like I'm a hairy wooly mamouth...I was just given a complex. Or should I say that I accepted the complex? I figured that since I'm lighter, my arm hairs are more noticeable, though I've seen women with hairier arms than me. I'm looking at them while I type this and I'm okay with them...or am I? I'll keep you all posted.

Random Thought #13:

I recently spoke to someone who asked my opinion on relationships. He said that his girlfriend is upset because he won't talk to her about his life. He also said that he preferred to keep it that way. I told him that if I were her, I would do the same. I thought about it after...

Why have a relationship if you aren't going to share your life with someone? Seriously. Why have a relationship with a woman? We thrive on that sharing crap! Without that, we don't achieve intimacy. Shoot, his girlfriend might as well buy a vibrator. That way she can be sexually satisfied anytime she wants. Is that too crass? Well without communication or intimacy, then what's left in the relationship? I'll answer that...SCREWING (did you REALLY think I was going to use the 'f' word?) Sure, it's a lot safer for her to get satisfied with this situation because male prostitutes are just nasty (so are female ones) but in my opinion that's what she's getting now. She should start leaving him 20 dollar bills on the night stand before she leaves in the morning.

Why am I talking about this? He reads my blog. :-) I could NEVER be with a man who doesn't share his world with me! Never say never? No, I'm serious. I look forward to the time when I will have that one person who knows me inside and out. No secrets...nothing. Sure the sex would be fun too, but I really crave the intimacy and if the guy can't give that to me, then I can't be with him. It would only be half of a relationship and who wants half of a relationship? Who wants half of anything? I want to be able to give myself fully to a guy but that won't happen unless he's able to give himself to me fully.

So homey, if you don't want to lose her or anyone else, I suggest you start opening up. Stop being so freakin' stubborn you arse!

I'm done.

Random Thought #14:

One of my all time favorite songs is "Try a little Tenderness." I like Otis Redding's version of it. I've been trying to get a guy to sing this to me for years, but not just any guy will do I guess. :-) I just wanted to see what would happen if I put this on my blog so close to my birthday. Check out the lyrics:

[This is for you] Ooh she may be weary
And them young girls they do get weary
Wearing that same old shaggy dress
But when they get weary
[You gotta] try a little tenderness

[Tell you, might not believe it, but]
You know she's waiting
Just anticipating
The thing that she'll never, never possess, no,no
But while [all the time] she's without it
Go to her and try just a little bit of tenderness
[Thats all you gentlemen gotta do]

Oh, but it's one thing
It might be a bit sentimental yeah, yeah
She has - her grieves and care
But the soft words [they] are spoken so gentle
Yeah
But, oh, that makes it, makes it easier to bear, yeah

You won't regret it
No no,
Them young girls they don't forget it
[Cause] Love is their whole, whole happiness yes, yes, yeah

And it's all so easy
Come on and try
Try a little tenderness
Yeah try
Just keep on trying

You've got to love her
Squeeze her
Don't tease her make love [get to her]
Hold her tight
Just, just try a little tenderness
That's all you gotta do
Youve gotta hold her tight

One more time
You`ve got to love her
Hold her don't tease her
Never leave her
Make love to her
Hold her, man

Try a little tenderness
[Just one time] God have mercy now

All you`ve gotta do
Love her
You've gotta hold her
Don't squeeze her
Never leave her
You gotta now, now, now

Watch it, tell everybody
Try
Try a little tenderness

You gotta make love
Don't tease her
Never leave her
Rub her down
Smooth her, soothe her
Move her
Love her
Rub her
Gotta gotta, zap it to her
Try some tenderness

Oh yeah
Tenderness
Little tendernes
Gotta, lord you gotta hold her
Squeeze her never leave her

I'll let you know if anything comes from this post. (hint, hint)

Random Thought #15:

How far will I be able to go with these random thoughts? I'm starting to get tired now, but I'll keep holding on!

Random Thought #16:

I hate forwards that say beautiful things but then ask you to forward it to 30 more people. I really don't like the ones that say that if I don't forward the message that means that I am ashamed of God. By whose standards?

Random Thought #17:

I think I'm done with this list. What do you think?

Random Thought #18:

Until next time drop dead gorgeous readers,

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Corporate America

2006-11-03T10:40:00.000-05:00

So today I'm chillin' in the office where I am working until Monday and I notice something that catches my eye. This little woman came into the office and changed the flowers that sit on the counter in front of this desk. She walked in, we exchanged pleasantries, and she changed the flowers! Honestly, I thought those bad boys were fake but no, they are real. I watched as she filled up the water pot and walked away. All I have to say is, "wow." I mean, they have a person who stops by to change the flowers! The part that kills me is the first flowers weren't even dead! Sheesh, when I worked at UMass Amherst if there were flowers on my desk it was because my students gave them to me, but it was up to me to water them and throw them out when they died! I didn't have some person come in and do it for me. Sure Barbara used to walk around and water plants but she did that because she wanted to cut down on plant fatalities.

It's pretty interesting here. Mind you, I've been working at institutions of education for the longest time, so I'm used to the relax atmosphere with no office perks. This place is a bit mind boggling to me. As I sit here listening to "Sexy Back" I can't help but to look around. I SO don't belong here. I look down at my clothes and realize that I might have ONE outfit that would make me fit in here, but that's my interview outfit and that will be burned once I get a permanent job. Let's just say I've been stuck in horrible rain storms in that outfit...I've had horrible interviews...interviews with people who already know who they are going to hire but they are calling you in because they have to interview other people for the sake of office politics (politics suck by the way)...yes, that outfit will be BURNED. Anyone care to join me? I'll bring the matches because I'm a recovering pyromaniac, thanks to the first time I lit a match when I was 5, and you can bring something to roast over it. I'm not really into marshmallows (or marshmallow peeps for that matter) but someone could bring those, just hook me up with some chocolate and a graham cracker and it will be all gravy (darn you Dannny). Perhaps it's time to get a new interview outfit, but why? This one is kinda perfect...it's just SO ANNOYING! LOL. Well not the outfit I guess, more the fact that I've had to put it on SO many times! I so want to retire it and then burn it. I'm SO serious.

Okay I think I'm done for today. It's Friday and I'm soooooooo tired. 6 am wake ups suck big hairy cojones. That was so lady like wasn't it? Sheesh....I wonder why no one has snatched me up yet. :-)

Until next time readers(it could be Monday, it could be this afternoon. Who knows?)...

Say it with me...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

P.S. "CIEE how may I direct your call please?" Darn you Corporate America!!!!!!!

Bubble tape anyone?

2006-11-02T10:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday while on the bus I saw a sight that made me roll my eyes. There was a kid with her book bag but instead of carrying it on her back, it was on wheels with a handle so she could roll it around. I thought to myself, what are we doing to our kids?! On the news two day ago they were talking about a school in Boston that banned the game of tag because kids were getting injured. Are you kidding me?! Don't even get me started on those commercials that talk about the evilness of sponges because they carry germs so we should ALL run out and buy wipes because you can throw them away once you are finished. Did you know that once those commericals came out, fatalities by sponges dropped significantly? I would apologize for being sarcastic, but it wouldn't be sincere so why bother? If all of this nonsense keeps up we will raise a generation of people who are terrified of germs! C'mon! I've been germ infested as a kid and I LOVED it! Besides a few mental issues, I'm perfectly normal...lol. I didn't die. I didn't have to go to the hospital. If anything, I gave my immunse system a good workout and I know for me, I ALWAYS feel better after a good workout. I played in mud, I got scratched up...

Shoot when I was in high school we used to play international hand ball guys verses the girls. The male gym teacher used to tell us that if we didn't win we had to do push ups after gym class so we won those games by any means necessary. That means that guys were often pushed up against bleachers by your truly and pinned there while my teammates tried to get the ball. And by ball I mean the ball that we used in gym. You guys are so sucio! lol Yea the guys I went to high school with were kinda small. Though I was a tomboy so I'm pretty sure that even if they were taller and more muscular I still would have rammed myself into them once they got to the bleachers. Just because I could and I got personal pleasure out of manhandling them.

What's so wrong with germs? What's so wrong with our kids carrying their book bags on their backs? I had to do it. I had to carry all of my books and as a matter of fact they used to suggest that we keep all of our books with us because that cut down on locker time. My back isn't in any pain. If anything I'm pretty strong thanks to my heavy book bag witch was also a dangerous weapon when I needed it to be.

What's next? Will parents start bubble taping their kids? Will neighborhoods have to be sterilized so children can go outside and play? Honestly, I think when I have kids, my husband will often come home to 6 people covered in mud (me plus the 5 that I want for now and yes I DO understand that might change after I have my first). If he's lucky, he just might get covered in mud too...hmmmm, I'm going to drop that line of thought but let's just say...nope not going there...lol.

I think cuts, bruises, and germs are part of being a kid! I still have scars on my body from times when I hurt myself. On my forehead I still have the scar from when I busted into my brothers' room and a street sign fell on my head. What? I was 3 years old! And who in their right mind STEALS A STREET SIGN?! I remember being in my nightgown with my Snoopy doll who had to be thrown out because there was just too much blood, but now I'm okay! *twitches* I swear I am!

WARNING: THIS NEXT STATEMENT IS GOING TO BE VERY GROSS!!!!

Have you ever worn your underwear two days in a row? By that I mean, you showered the second day and you don't have a fresh pair so you flip them inside out. I remember doing that as a kid and sometimes as a college student. What? I didn't want to go commando! Hey wait, guys call it free ballin' and I'm pretty sure that I am unqualified to free ball, so what is it for women? Free peachin'? Letting the beaver outta the cage? Freein' da beave? (yes I mean "beave" instead of beaver) Emancipation of the lips? Okay I HAVE to stop! I'm holding back laughter in this office. *exhales* I almost bursted out laughing and trust me, it wasn't going to be quiet. Freein' da beave...man I'm funny! There are so many more, trust me, but I can't do them here...I need a place where I can crack up.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, all I'm saying is there is NOTHING wrong with germs unless you are The Boy in the Plastic Bubble (can anyone tell me the star of that movie?).

We really need to stop freaking our kids out. Let them run and play. Let them get scraped up. There's nothing wrong if they hit a wall from time to time. I once walked into a pole. I was too busy looking at a car and BAAAAAM! Let me tell you, I was only 9 then, I NEVER walked into another pole after that. And you know what? After I did it, I cried for a little bit but then I went to summer camp anyways. I think that's probably why when I'm in pain, I'm usually too busy trying to calm everyone else down. I broke my ankle and I kept asking them to take a baseball bat and knock me out. They thought I was kidding. I wasn't. I really wanted to be knocked out but the fact that they were all laughing and my friend who was totally freaking out was calming down a bit was all good for me. Imagine if my mother was so overprotective of me and I broke my ankle...

Another time I broke my foot and had an ear infection. I went to the doctors to check out my foot because I fell down the stairs and it was killing me. Mind you, I was taking ballroom dance classes and we were doing the waltz, so not only was I barefoot, I was also on my tip toes for an hour and for 3 times a week. My doctor was shocked to find that I was still dancing on a broken foot and she asked me how I was able to deal with a serious ear infection and a broken foot. My answer:

When one starts to hurt I focus on the other one.

She said I had a high threshold for pain which is true. I wasn't supposed to, but I did my ballroom dance finals AND learned the cha cha the next semester. My friends were upset when they saw me take of my hospital shoe but I didn't want to schedule a make up for me and my partner.

I swear if I have kids and the school system tries to baby them, then I'm going to help them get over the fear of pain and germs myself. I will take them out back, line them up against the wall, and do an old fashion came of dodge ball. I might have a basketball though...what? It's better than a baseball. I will have them rolling around in the mud. They will have a few outside meals where they will have to eat with their hands WITHOUT washing them first. I'll chase them into walls on purpose...lol. Throw a ball or two at their head when they weren't looking... You know stuff that will make me a good parent, lol!

America, DIRT happens! Stop trying to protect your children from it!

Kids are meant to get hurt every now and then. Who do you think they REALLY make bandaids for? Adults?! Puh-LEASE! I have a cut right now on my hand, do you think I have a bandaid on it? Nope I don't. Now if this was twenty years ago (sheesh, that's SO long ago), there would have been a HUGE bandaid on it.

Eh I'm done with this topic...it sickens me!
Until next time readers,

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

P.S. And NO I am not freein' the beave at the moment. I hate the breeze...lol!!

ADARNADORABLEBLOGGER says what?

2006-11-01T10:43:00.000-05:00

WHAT?

LOL!

I've been doing that a lot lately. What can I say, I find it awfully amusing! Hmmm...some of you must be asking, "What will she talk to us about today?" To those people I give this suggestion, "Sit back and chillax. I have a feeling that this is going to be a blog filled with random thoughts and other interesting tidbits."

So let's begin okay?

First thought:

Why is it that so many people try their hardest to conform these days? The amount of people getting plastic surgery to look like their favorite star is on the rise. It's kinda sickening when you think about it. You know who I blame? I blame Sesame Street. Now, hold on, there is a method to my madness...NEVER forget that. You see on Sesame Street (wait, do they have Sesame Street in Canada? I only ask because one of my regular readers is from that area.)...where was I? Right:

On Sesame Street there used to be this bit where they had 4 people all seperated by different squares. Three out of the 4 were usually doing the same thing, like skipping rope. The 4th one would be doing something completely different like painting their toe nails (yea I know the example sucked but forgive me, I woke up at 6 am). Then you would hear this song:

One of these kids is doing their own thing. One of these kids is not the same. Can you guess which kid is doing their own thing? Now it's time to play our game!"

Yes I did that off of the top of my head (see thought 2). Anyways, the person who was the one doing their own thing was pointed out. Their box often lit up or it went dark. It's almost like they were ridiculed. What kid wants that for themselves? Seriously, most kids want to fit in or they want to find a group of friends that are exactly like them. Because of this they grow up to become adults who crave the same thing. It's kinda sad when you think about it. Poor kids, unable to do what their own thing because if they do that insipid song will come on and the other kids who are normal will point them out.

Okay so I might be stretching it a bit too much although thanks to my childhood (my weird beret phase in middle school, my name, the fact that I was raised Seventh Day Adventist, my shoes with the different color smiley faces on it, my african print shoes, etc.) I'm used to being the odd man out. I think if I was placed in the box, I would watch what the other three were doing and I would do something different on purpose. I'll admit sometimes I go out of my way to not follow the crowd. I dunno, following the crowd gives me the willies...lol. It makes my fro frizz and no one likes a frizzed fro.

Why did I bring this first topic up? Well I've been working in Copley lately and yesterday my mom offered me a ride home. She got upset because I didn't try my hardest to fit into the corporate world, which I'll admit that she was correct. She then mentioned that I should have put on earings. (See Third Thought) Today I'll admit that I calmed down my regular style and went more for the "tamed" look. I stared at myself in the mirror and frowned. Why can't I be the kid in the box that lights up or dims forever? I'm okay with it, why can't she be?

Second Thought:

My friends often accuse me of knowing every song ever made. If you start singing something to me there is a good chance I can finish the song for you or at least hum the rest of the melody. That's because I can hear a song once and remember it from there. When it comes to childhood songs from shows that I watched on a daily basis, it might take me a while but I can easily sing the songs to this day. I can do a mean "Punky Brewster." lol

Third Thought:

Earings...I swear my mom thinks earings are the answers to everything.

Your daughter doesn't look like she belongs in the corporate world? Put some earings on her.

You daughter is still single? Put some earings on her so the fellas would know that she is straight (I'm serious, she thinks this...these are NOT my words...lol).

You still don't have grandchildren? Put some earings on your daughter and see the point above.

Wish that your daugther was more effeminate? Slap some earings on da broad. lol

Daugther refuses to wear earings? Keep buying her earings with the hope that she will just put them on. (Actually I end up losing them all the time)

I must say that I am very effeminate just in my own way. I don't like earings because I can feel them in my ears and that bothers me. Well when I had the top of my left ear pierced I was okay with that. I didn't feel a thing. I actually miss that piercing but after my surgery on my ankle, my mother lost the earing that went up there and I think she did it on purpose...

Hmmm...I think I want that piercing back. *thinks for a moment* Anyways, where was I?

Oh yes, earings, the cure for whatever annoys you about your daughter...

I think I'm tired now. I've been reading about different operas all day. So far I tackled Carmen, Faust, Tosca, and La Bohème (which Rent basically ripped off...sheesh but let me not continue on that topic because someone will try to take me out if I did). After lunch I'm going to go through a few more.

Until I get bored again readers!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

P.S. I SO didn't edit this! I don't wanna read it but I will one day and find errors and that will cause me to edit at that time. Until then....

DEAL WITH IT! lol

What is a Maxine "adventure"?

2006-10-31T14:09:00.000-05:00

SO I just wrote this post! And it accidently got deleted, so excuse me if it isn't as funny as the last one. The last one was TOTALLY awesome! (That last line was meant for someone special who either laughed out loud when he read it or responded with a hearty "DUDE!")

Some of you might be asking, "Maxine what's the dilly with the word 'adventure?'"

To those people I give the following instructions. First, look at your hand and locate the dirtiest finger on there. Once you found that finger, take it and poke yourself in your eye! Feel the stinging? That pain is your punishment for using the term "dilly" in my presence! Seriously, the nerve of some people!

Well I first started using the term "adventure" when I moved to Amherst, MA. I had to start a new job the day after I moved to Amherst and once my family left I started to feel a bit scared. Yes, I admit, I was scared. I wasn't feeling Maxilicious (yes that is a Maxinism...which I guess I should explain in a later blog. Perhaps even after this one. It's only 2:13 and I have until 5).

Anywhoo...

So I was um, scared and basically I had to go to work and to a welcoming meeting in a town that I was not familiar with. I'm a city gal and to be out in a quiet town like Amherst was a shock to all of my senses. Sure I attended Lynnfield Public Schools, but I ALWAYS had my city of Boston to fall back on! Not this time. I was 2+ hours away from home, my family, and my friends. I had to figure out how to become Maxilicious back because being Maxilicious means that I'm the bravest thing in the world. When I'm in my Maxilicious state I have two things on my mind, "Where is my challenge? AND Who are the new people whose world I'm going to rock??"

In order for me to get my "umph" back, I did two things:

1. I prayed - Shoot, I don't even want to think about how my life would be if I didn't believe in or have a relationship with God.

2. I coined my experience as an adventure. It became fun to me. The word adventure has a "wow" factor to it.

So after I did those things I walked out of my apartment and strutted down the street like I was a diva and that road was my walkway! I went to my job with my head held high and I went to my grad meeting with the thought that this was another challenge that I was going to meet head on and conquer (or make my **tch). The funny part is once I got to my grad school meeting, I felt a little left out because my classmates already met each other during orientation. Okay, I'll admit that I chickened out...I used the fact that I was working as an excuse to get me out of attending but it was all good because a few minorities came into the room and I immediately relaxed and knew that they were going to sit next to me, which they did. They weren't black, but the fact that we were minorites was enough for us. Also, I met a friend who was once my boss at Northeastern. It was cool because I made a statement about how I used to be brave and he corrected me by saying that I still was...aren't cool people awesome? Quick story on Aaron, when I was an Orientation Leader he was the ONLY one who knew when I did something bad or that I was about to do something mischevious He said that I got a look in my eyes. I don't doubt it, but it was interesting because he was the first people who noticed it. He would come up to me randomly and say, "Whatever you're thinking about doing, don't do it." Of course I did it anyways and when my other boss screamed, "Where are my keys!" Aaron always knew to look at me first.

So that's why I use the term "adventure." I guess I've conquered a lot of them, until you ask me to eat something that I'm not familiar with. There are certain rules that I have to things that go into my mouth (on that sounds so bad). First, the item has to be in the food groups that I eat. Second, the item has to be smelled and studied for a long period of time (sometimes this includes poking with my finger). Usually the food never passes that stage unless I'm with my girl Gaetane who knows me and watches me. One time she ordered mussels and I have NEVER eaten one in my life! I sat there while everyone was digging in with my head slightly cocked to the left and staring. She said, "(insert my full name here) I know you! Take one!" I sighed (which is something that I do a lot) and grabbed one. It was interesting. She looked at me and rolled her eyes because she knew that if she wasn't paying attention, I wouldn't have eaten any. Does that make me fickle? How about picky?

I know my mom is so happy that she doesn't have to go food shopping for me anymore because one week I would absolutely love something but the next week I wouldn't touch it at all. Kinda like tofu. There was a time when I cooked it all the time! I have so many tofu recipes it's not even funny! Yet now, I don't even buy it because I just don't crave it. If I order out and it comes with the dish it's okay but it's not something that I cook anymore. Watch, now I'm going to crave it again. I'll probably let you know if that happens that is if you care. LOL Who am I kidding?! I'm going to let you know even if ya don't care! (I know you were expecting that)

So I guess this brings my explanations on "adventures" to an end.

Until 5 minutes from now readers (What? I have to do SOME editing!)...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Is there a stupid sign on my head?!

2006-10-31T11:06:00.000-05:00

*sigh*

The ONE thing I hate about working as a temp is the simple fact that people treat me like I'm a complete idiot! Oh yes, it's venting time because if I don't vent this right now, I'm going to... *sigh* Do absolutely nothing I guess. Freak this!

Okay, so it began when I came in a day before so I could be trained. This is the first time I had to come in a day ahead for some training, so silly me, I thought this job was going to be hardcore. I actually pictured myself coming home all sleepy and crap. Physically and mentally tired from my long day. Ummmmm...no. I had to come in a day early to learn that I will be delivering and dropping off the mail. I have to answer phones and transfer calls. Oh yea, and let's not forget about the electronic faxes! I have to FORWARD those things! Do you think I can handle it?! Sometimes I swear I need to get my resume tattooed to my culo or something. That way when people annoy me, I moon them and show them that I can actually handle a simple assistant job (no I'm not being condescending. That's what my temp agency called it).

Just now, someone came up to me and introduced himself. Which is all good because I've had to deal with that all day, but ummm, then he goes:

I receive very important faxes. My name is blah blah blah. Could you forward those faxes to me?

Me: I've been sending out faxes throughout the day. I've sent some to you.

Him: Well I haven't checked my faxes yet.

Me: Well check your faxes, I've sent a few to you today. (fake smile)

I felt my bp go up a bit and if you know me, you know my bp is oddly low all the time, thanks to my non-dramatic lifestyle and weird semi-hippie diet. Anyways BACK TO THE IDIOT! lol

So basically I'm not intelligent enough to follow through on the tasks handed to me. I'm too stupid to learn how to forward an electronic fax. I guess me having to learn InDesign while putting together a yearbook all in 5 months, doesn't qualify me to be as computer savvy or smart in any way shape or form. I guess not. I guess perhaps I should write myself notes to remind myself to breathe (yes I got that from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air). The part that's killing me is I'm wearing my "smart glasses." What a waste of smart glasses! lol Funny story. Before I had to start wearing reading glasses, I used to rock fake ones. I liked the way they looked on me. I looked serious. I mean when you have a baby face and dimples, people rarely take you seriously, until you physically harm them (I know from experience).

I consider myself to be averagely intelligent (okay, that's an understatement, but I'm trying to play the modest role tambien). Some people say that I'm too smart for my own good. I agree. I swear I wish there was a camera that could have captured my face after the guy left the front desk. It was a "classic" Maxine face: First the face scrunches up then the right eyebrow raises and finally the eyes squint. I just had a vision of tripping him. It made me giggle. Now I want to trip him. Great...

Why couldn't he check his inbox before he questioned my intelligence? Seriously, if he would have done that, things would have been all good. But no, he rather spend time putting too much gel in his hair...well I'm not sure if he was putting gel in his hair instead of checking his inbox. I DO know that it was waaaaaay too much. I would hate to be his girlfriend. Not just because of the gel but because he really ticked me off...

All I am saying is, why not assume that a person knows what they are doing and check your inbox first. If there is nothing there by 10, THEN go and harass the person! If I was evil (and I'm not) I so wouldn't give him anymore faxes. Seriously, he doesn't deserve faxes. No faxes for him! Eh, but I'm not I guess. It is indeed tempting though...

This is going to be an interesting adventure. Well I have lunch pretty soon, so I guess I should end this. When I get back, I will discuss the term "adventure" and when I first started using it to explain mi vida loca! I swear if you are singing Ricky Martin right now, you should stab yourself with a pencil, pen, or whatever is near you at the moment. Shame on you....

Until then readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

More and more weird things

2006-10-26T17:56:00.000-05:00

You know what really grosses me out? No not blood. Not spiders or creepy crawly things. Nope not throw up or seeing chewed up food. It's pasta when it sticks together after you finish cooking it. I can't remember when it first grossed me out. All I know is that it does. Once I finish cooking pasta, I rinse it out in cold water and then I check every single last noodle to make sure that it didn't stick to another. Weird huh? I just gagged thinking about the noodles that I found sticking together today. I don't even like touching them. Seriously I don't know what's wrong with me. I have no clue why I act this way. All I know is after cooking my pasta I'm usually hunched over in my sink inspecting all of my noodles before I return them to the pot. It's much easier if I'm just cooking enough pasta for dinner but if I'm cooking for the week, that's when it gets tricky. My biggest fear is taking a bite out of my food and finding 6+ noodles stuck together and biting through the hard part. OH my goodness this is grossing me out! lol I have to change the topic...

Soooo...

Another weird dream to report people. This one takes the cake...well for this year. Remember the one with the vampire, blueblocker sunglasses, and the dogs is the worst dream I ever had. But back to this one. Hmmm...I just began a sentence with "but." Eh, whose grading me? Anyways, I had this dream that I had a party at my apartment, which of course wasn't my real apartment because Kelly wasn't there and instead of being a town house it was this HUGE one bedroom apartment. During the party I was raped by two guys. They got away and I came out to a party that was ending. I went up to my girl Ana D-C. and told her that I had just been raped. Instead of consoling me, she looked down and said, "Well since you're hurt, that means you can't stop me." In my dream all of my undergarments were thrown around the room. SO I watched as Ana bent over and stole my two favorite pairs of underwear! I just sat there and stared at her in disbelief. The worst part is I tried to tell my friends what she did and they didn't believe me. So not only was I raped, my girl stole my favorite underwear. How messed up is that?

I didn't dream this dream last night. I had this dream the night before. So Ana you stole my drawers!!!! LOL...

All right I just spaced out, I'm going to end this now.

Until next time you piles of sexiness!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Kwanzaa...WHY?

2006-10-18T11:25:00.000-05:00

*******WARNING! THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS SURVIVING ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP. IF YOU ARE OVERLY SENSITIVE PERHAPS YOU SHOULD SKIP THIS POST...SERIOUSLY...I MEAN IT...OH WELL, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!*******

This post is probably going make them revolk my Affirmative Action rights, which I don't really care...I mean, I'm about to say somethings that might tick off Black folks, but I'm okay with that...

Let's talk about Kwanzaa...

The made up holiday whose sole reason for creation is to give whites something that they can't celebrate (was that too mean?). Sure they say that the purpose of it is to connect us to our African roots, but c'mon, it was created in the 70's by a man who took bits and pieces from various African cultures and glued them all together to create a holiday that whites couldn't participate in. The sad part is, Americans are eating this up!

I'm sorry (actually I'm not) but I don't see the need for this holiday. It's 5 days after Christmas so people are usually too tired to do anything for this. Who really wants handmade presents? I know some of you are saying, "Hey Max, you do." This is different though. Hey Shaquan put down that Barbie dream house that I got you for Christmas and come play with this drumset made out of corn husks that I made you for Kwanzaa! Yea....riiiiiight. lol

From a Christian standpoint I'm not down for it either. I've been to many Kwanzaa celebrations not because I'm black and I'm supposed to, no I did it because my choir was singing at the event. There is a point where they call on the spirits of black leaders who died. I don't believe that this only happens at the Kwanzaa celebration that I had to go to. They would pour libations from a cup and then they would say things like, "I call on the spirit of Malcolm X." One question...what if the spirit of Malcolm X showed up?! Trust me those people would freak out! So why call on something that you REALLY don't want to see?

I guess my anger at this holiday comes from what I was taught by some African friends of mine. If the purpose of Kwanzaa is to connect us with our African roots, then why do most Africans see this holiday as a joke? If they don't feel the connection, then how can we? Also, why do we need to connect to Africa so much? We are Americans now. We are assimilated...get over it! There is no turning back. I challenge black person to go back to Africa and live there. You will see that our cultures are VERY different! You will feel your American roots AND I guarantee that they will remind you about your Americanized roots! I also challenge anyone to find Kwanzaa celebrations in the motherland.

I haven't celebrated Kwanzaa in years and I feel better! I was never comfortable with it and I never will be. Not it seems as though it's a holiday created to make blacks feel special and to make whites feel left out. Now is that cool? Not really...

Not at all.

Now, if you guys don't hear from me in about a month, know that I've been kidnapped by the NAACP. lol

I'm just kidding. *shakes her head no*

*sigh* I think I'm done. *pauses dramatically*

Yup I'm done.

Until then wonderful readers!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Just Woke Up

2006-10-14T12:39:00.000-05:00

It's Saturday and I just woke up. For some reason I just wanted to type in my blog. I guess I have stuff that's on my mind and since my personal journal is MIA at the moment, I'm going to use this bad boy as my outlet.

So...let's chat...

First let me say that I am normally not they type of person who likes to talk about herself. No I'm serious. There are people who have been in my life for years and they still know nothing about me. Don't be sad, they know it too, so I guess they are okay with that. There are others who constantly make themselves available to me, you know by saying, "If you need anything call me," or, "I'm here for you, you know that." Those are the ones that I tend to hit up every now and then.

But eh, there is more to this, but you know what? I don't really feel like talking about it... Deal with it...lol.

Have you really just dug somebody? I mean, in your eyes they are just so cool! At first you wonder if you're being an adoring fan or if you really like this person for who they are. If this person lost that "star appeal" (not to say they are famous, when I use that I mean there is just something about them that is intoxicating) could you still like them as much as you did when they had it? Don't get me wrong, and don't equate this chica to a teeny booping brat who cries or faints when she sees a pop star in public because I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a regular guy and a regular girl. Well neither people are actually regular, you guys know that I'm not so for me to really dig someone, that person would have to be extraordinary...like me (yes, I know, I'm modest).

You see, I really don't know the answer to my question because this is the first time I ever felt this way. It's odd, but what can I say? This cat is the bomb diggity...lol. And this isn't a situation where I'm fawning over someone, I'm too old for that. Though, I do remember my high school days of having raging crushes that only lasted a few weeks. Nope this one has been going on for months now. 7 months to be exact...

I'll admit I took a break from this and it's now 6 pm....lol. I had stuff to do so shoot me. But I'm just in one of those floaty loving moods today. You know the one where everything in the universe is just copastetic? Where all you want to do is smile and even though you are presented with drama and the harsh realities of the world, you still just smile...

This has been my mood all day. I feel like I just had a big cup of tea after a nice dinner and I'm all cozy while having an intellectually stimulating conversation. *sigh*

It's fun to dig someone...isn't it?

Until then you beautiful, gorgeous, sexy beast readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

P.S. I know this doesn't make sense and it won't make sense to a lot of you...but remember, I write these bad boys for myself...

Yearbook Posts

2006-10-12T20:42:00.000-05:00

I wonder...

If I had to do a yearbook post today what would mine say? Would it be so different from my high school one? I mean there will be some differences for example, singing. I never really got into singing until I was in college. I was a band person (notice that I didn't say geek...as if!). So I'm going to try this only because idea amuses me. Yes, I tend to do things that amuse me, why don't you?

Name: (mumbles her 24 letter name with the same last name)

Nicknames: Max, Maxie, Maxine, Princess, Loquita, Sunshine, Picklehead (my older brother), Chica, Shugg (smiles)

(high school nicknames: Max, Maxine, Buttascotch)

Activites: Stuff...lol. Fine, fine, fine, I'll list them. Causing mischief, singing, dancing with the lights off and her disco ball on, writing, being sarcastic (yes that's an activity), Urbaniacs (www.urbaniacs.com), staring at my cell phone when it rings sometimes (why do I have one again?), talking to myself (my favorite activity), wreaking havoc on unsuspecting citizens, helping people get comfortable in their own skin (that's my other favorite activity), 24-7 hero (See Hero Complex)...

(high school activities: band, peer leader)

Memories: Holding my nephew for the first time on Christmas 2005, seeing my mother fall outside of my apartment (it cracked me up), breaking my ankle in 2004, breaking bones in my foot twice, being tripped down the stairs and breaking my toe (thanks Jeremiah), dying my hair red, piercing my right eyebrow when I was 20, piercing the top of my ear when I was 23, being best man in a wedding, moving to Amherst when I was 22, moving in with Kelly when I was 25, 1st published poem (can't remember the year), "you are so cute when you're mad", "you're an aight person and I love you and all that other crap", GJ blinding herself when I thought I saw a mouse at my mom's crib (cell phone lights are all fun and games until someone loses an eye), karaoke nights, Girl nights out/in, the night Kel and I had to do community service (don't ask), Jay breaking into Ryder Hall so he could play the piano (thanks for going to the police station with me to so we could get permission to enter the building), Monica talking me into wearing flip flops (I was never the same), my dream and the 5 people who know it (it involves vampire, blue blocker sunglasses, and dogs...I won't tell), realizing my knack for decorating, Ghetto Phi Ghetto, "surpise" parties (I'm still the queen of finding out mine), "Come here Franky wants to talk to you", "hey guys I'm high on perkasets, how about we go over to the bar for a few shots, I won't feel a thing!", the laughter, the tears (thanks for the gum Juan even if I did freak you out), the day I realized that I'm just cute and agreed, "A Walk to Remember", 1st time I watched Scrubs, being stalked by different men at different times in my life (what can I say? I'm darn adorable...lol), Play dates (I still have them), and many more....

Favorite Quote(s): "I never said that I was sane", "I SPIT on your Bus!", "Sheesh", "I'm darn adorable!", "They used to call me Crazy Joe but now the call me BATMAN!", "Dude", "Eh", "He/She/They started it!", "Are you KIDDIN' ME?!"

(High School quote: "If you like me, cool. If not, SO WHAT?!")

Hmmmm, I think I'm done.

Well until then readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Goodbye September

2006-10-02T11:36:00.000-05:00

So now it's October and if you know me, you know that my birthday is creeping up. The 28th birthday and you know what means? Absolutely nothing!

I'm not trying to say that nothing fun is going to happen because I am usually hanging out with a group of friends on my birthday. I can't help it, I guess it has to do with the fact that I never had birthday parties when I was younger. Not even a sweet 16. But before you "aww" and pity me, let me tell you, I wasn't really sweet during that time...lol. So why perpetuate a lie? lol!

Oh wait, I've been meaning to tell you all this but for some reason September has been filled with reflection so I didn't get a chance to come here. I guess I'm tired of reflecting...I mean, you think and think and think some more...I've gotten headaches, I've been depressed, I've been confused...man....reflection SUCKS. Well I'm tired of reflecting!!! I know it's an artistic thing to do but sheesh I have put a limit on it like I can only reflect once a week or something...lol.

Anyways did you know that September is Menopause Awareness month? Yes! It is! I learned that on Lifetime (and no I don't really watch that channel). Are you aware about menopause? I became aware of it when I was in college. Not because I had it but because in the wintertime my brother and I would go to sleep in a comfortably warm house only to wake up to sub-zero temperatures thanks to menopause. And let's not even talk about the hormone shifts. Sheesh!

So yes, I am aware but it sucks to be aware when you are a chick because that means you are staring into your future. Menopause here I come in 30 years. 30 years isn't long enough if you ask me. I dun wanna go through menopause!!!! It doesn't look fun at all. Those commercials where you see women with menopause dancing around or taking long walks are a LIE! They are there to make younger women like me think that menopause is cool...But it's NOT! It so sucks being a woman. You would think that because we have kids we could get a break somewhere...

Why can't men have menopause? It's named after them it only seems fitting. I mean I know I'm not suppose to blame her but I truly believe that this is all Eve's fault! Sheesh, why couldn't she get Adam to bite the fruit first? If that happened then men would be the ones cursed with their monthly menses and menopause while we would be chillin! I doubt they would have children but I believe that childbirth for us would be easier...MUCH easier (not speaking from experience here).

And some guys have the nerve to complain about the fact that women can get into certain establishments and have free drinks. I ask WHY NOT?! After all the crap that we go through we deserve a free dance and drink (make mine a diet coke no ice please)!

I honestly started this blog at 10 am while waiting for a friend to say hi on yim (thanks for standing me up ya jerk!). I had to log out and handle some business so now it's 6:43 pm and I am confused. What was this blog about? I don't know...

I guess it's time to end it before I go off on a tangent or a rant. What's the difference you ask? Well you will find out tomorrow if you read this bad boy again!

Until then humble and cocky readers (you know which group you belong to)...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Something for y'all to check out!!

2006-08-20T17:09:00.000-05:00

What can I say?

SHAMELESS PLUG!!!! SHAMELESS PLUG!!!

If it interests you....

Follow the link

It's called Urbaniacs...I love it there. I figured some of you might like it to.

Until next time readers... (Sorry, I just don't feel like doing blogs right about now)

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

This Song...

2006-07-23T14:30:00.000-05:00

I normally don't talk about pop culture in my blog. I do that because I feel that if you want to hear about gossip and stuff like that, there are so many blogs that can oblige you. I just feel that since I'm not into things like that, my blog would reflect the things that I am into. I heard this song the other day and it blew my mind because it is so true on my life. I figured I would share the lyrics with you. Read it over and reflect on it....

It's John Mayer's "Waiting for the World to Change"

me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could
now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it

so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

it's hard to beat the system
when we're standing at a distance
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
now if we had the power
to bring our neighbors home from war
they would have never missed a Christmas
no more ribbons on their door
and when you trust your television
what you get is what you got
cause when they own the information, oh
they can bend it all they want

that's why we're waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

it's not that we don't care,
we just know that the fight ain't fair
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

and we're still waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
one day our generation
is gonna rule the population
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

The part that makes me sad is, will the world ever change or are we waiting in vain?

Something to think about.

Until then you gorgeous sexy beast of a reader you (Yes, I'm talking to my one faithful reader again)

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Man's Best Friend

2006-07-23T14:00:00.000-05:00

So I honestly had an idea for today's blog, I swear I did, but goodness, I seemed to have forgotten it. So I decided to go off on a few different tangents just to...

Wait, I just remembered. Hold on I have to change my title from "Mixed Up" to what you will see when I publish this.

Fellas, what is better than having a dog as your best friend? Having me as your best friend. I gave myself this title a long time ago. I'm not trying to sound cocky, but it's true. The majority of my friends are males. When you get to my inner-circle (which is what I call my friends who have become my second family) there are still more males than females. Now when you get to my best friends (which are those who I tell everything to) you will find that there are 2 females to 1 male there. Hey these cats have gone through a lot with me. I've scared and scarred them...lol. They deserve their positions on my best friends board!

Back to the topic...

So this is how it usually happens for the fellas. You meet this chick called Maxine and perhaps you are attracted to her, but chances are you're just intrigued by her demeanor because she is incredibly laid back and funny. And might I add, she's darn adorable too! Well you get to know her, share a few flirts with her, and next thing you know it you feel completely open and you begin to share some things with her. You tell her about your past, your insecurities, everything because you know that regardless of what you tell her, she will never judge you. Sure she might give you a whack everynow and then because she hates it when you self-depricate around her but regardless of what you tell her she will remain supportive. If you are single, you have a cuddle buddy who will make you feel very special. Sometimes she can make you feel like you are the only guy in the room. If you are dating someone, you have a female to bounce ideas off of. She is there to help you smooth things over with your girl and to even help you pick out a gift or two. And if you need a romantic idea...shoot, you came to the right place! Her last idea dealt with candles, home cooked dinner, a bell, feeding, and singing romantic songs. I bet that woman felt like a queen and thanks to Man's Best Friend, that guy was able to show the woman of his dreams how he felt about her.

You can talk to your best friend at all hours of the day. If you are going through an issue or even if you just want to participate in some mindless banter, you can call her. She will drop whatever it is that she is doing just to give you a laugh. She is willing to cry with you if you need it and she will be the first one to tell you that she is so proud of you when you do something extraordinary. She understands that sometimes a man needs to be a man so she will allow you to do certain things for her (but not too much) and she will even teach you the little things you can do to make woman go, "Oh he is so smooth!"

If you have a low self-esteem or if you have been hurt, her love can cure you of what ails you. Can a dog help you to realize your special talents and help you to maximize them? I doubt that. :-)

And for the women, if your man is getting on your nerves all you have to do is bring me to your house or drop him off at mine. The wives of my guy friends often tell me that. I think I should start to ask for payment...seriously. :-)

Man's Best Friend...

The funny part is I'm not bragging. All of my guy friends are married now, which is interesting because the majority of them are married to women who thanked me for helping/taking care of them. One wife thanked me for helping her husband to become a man, which is cool because I'm not a man but thanks to my father I have learned what a man shouldn't do. :-) So it's interesting for me because whenever I meet a new guy, I often try to determine what my purpose will be in his life. If I can sense that he's struggling with something, I immediately take a step back and get him to trust me and we go from there. I often wonder, because I had to say goodbye to many of my best guy friends (I feel that once they marry, their wife should be their best friend, so my job is over and I just become the old rag doll that is placed in the attic where the moth balls are. Once day while cleaning out the attic they will stumble upon me and reminisce before placing me back in the chest and locking the chest), if the next best guy friend is going to be one that gets to stay... Wouldn't that be interesting? For once, I would help a guy to realize his potential while prepar him for his future mate who would be me. I'm not sure, but that would be odd...just a little. I don't know...hmmmm....

Or when I get married, would there be a woman who I will thank for helping my husband turn into the man that he is. If I'm that woman, I think I will send myself a thank you card and some flowers...

Okay okay, I'm getting silly now...lol. I'll stop. I'm glad I remembered this topic.

Until then my faithful reader (I only have one faithful reader...lol)

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Once again it's my dreams

2006-07-21T17:59:00.000-05:00

So...

Last night I had a dream...

Yea...A dream...

I was in Germany. I must have been there for a while because I was hanging out at this coffee shop with some people, most of them were males. The night before I went to a club with two German guys who were Black. One was gay the other was straight and he liked me but I didn't pay him any attention because I was having too much fun with the gay one.

Okay (yea it gets odder), so the nexy day I was chillin and all of a sudden I was judging who had the best male butt. But here's the thing. They were all butt naked and I walked behind all of them and did tests like, flicking, grabbing, rubbing, slapping their butts and I would make notes on this clip board that I had. Now in this dream, I was going to announce the guy with best behind the next day during some event at the coffee shop. So the next day, before I announced it, I found out that the straight German guy liked me and we kissed. Then I announced that I wanted all of the contestants to come in the middle of the room so I could announce the winner but I ended up getting all of the men in the room. After clarifying what I meant and the men who weren't in the contest left, I announced the winner. It was the guy who liked me. But I couldn't help it. According to my dream he had a very beautiful behind...lol. Odd dream...

It's like the one I had 3 days before. I was at my wedding and I was marrying a white guy. The wedding was beautiful and in a church, but when I got to the reception, my husband was black! Hmmm...perhaps he caught a VERY bad tan or he was just so ashy and he ended up putting on lotion. I don't know....

Anyways, his parents were driving me up the wall and I decided that I didn't want to be married to him. The reception was in a castle and I ended up crawling out of the room because there were so many chairs. I ran to a van, jumped into the back of it, and I was driven to my apartment...which wasn't my apartment in real life. But I stayed there...

So, a friend says that my dream was a warning that I shouldn't rush into marriage, but who is rushing? LOL...

As a matter of fact, the last guy who told me that he loved me got upset. But it wasn't my fault! He said it too soon. He was acting kinda weird as I kept him company at work via AIM. We had just gotten into a fight and he then typed the words, so I freaked out, logged off of AIM, shut down the computer, ran out of my office and into my best friend's office. She looked at me and said, Max why are you so pale?" Which for me is something that I can become. I told her the story and she replied, "I understand logging off AIM, but why did you shut down the computer? Was he going to jump through it?" I sat with her for the rest of the day. Let's just say after that episode, we broke up...lol.

So TRUST me...I'm not rushing....

That is all for today,

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Too tired to hide...

2006-07-13T18:16:00.000-05:00

Let’s just say that today didn’t start off oh so good. It all stared when I woke up at 6 am (mental note, try to find a job that will allow for me to sleep in until 9 am). And now here I am, it’s 10 am and I am still waiting for the verizon people to come and fix my connection…

How can I blog you ask? Well it’s called Microsoft Word readers…I plan on typing here and then doing a cute little thing that I like to call “cut and paste” or wait, I didn’t make that up so technically I’m not allowed to say “cute little thing that I like to call” because everyone calls it that. Hmmmm….(Sorry, I’m tired, so this will be an interesting blog, that is if I don’t fall asleep on my laptop). Does anyone else hate waiting for repair people? I mean, if I had a job, I would have taken today off to wait for someone to show up between the hours of 8 am and 5 pm and they are okay with telling you that, YET if I were to tell them, “Hey I plan on paying my bill between July 13 and September 1,” they would have a royal fit and turn my stuff off. Hey what’s the difference between a royal fit and a regular fit? It’s not a joke, I was just curious…Awww…a cat just died….

That last line made me laugh. I guess I am always the most dangerous when I’m in a state where my inhibitions are lost and this is the case. Seriously, anytime any of you feel like hearing the hardcore truth from me, just find me when I’m tired, hyper, silly, or very relaxed. It’s funny to me because I always end up annoyed with myself the next day because I allowed for myself to “spill the beans.” Why is it so bad to spill beans? I mean, it’s a lot harder to clean up spilled milk, I guess that’s why people cry over it, but spilled beans? I eat a lot of beans and I have spilled them and it didn’t mean a thing…I just picked them up and called it a spilled beans day.

That last line is making me laugh…can’t see the screen, eyes are closing…LOL. Speaking of which, my friends still to this day make fun of the fact that my eyes are I guess you could say tiny….well not like 1 inches wide and 1 inches tall…can eyes be tall? I don’t know….Let’s just say that whenever I mention that somewhere down the line (waaaaaay down the line) my grandmother’s grandfather was Chinese they say, “Oh that’s where you get it from!”

Funny story about the eyes. I am a BAD movie goer! If the movie doesn’t capture my attention, I fall asleep. Well it’s the same when I’m watching a movie at my crib. My couch is sooo comfy so if I decide to turn of the lights and watch a movie, if I’m not into the movie I will wake up later talking about, “oh it’s over.” I know I had a story to tell here but first this one and then I will jump into the original story that I had for you guys (Does it sound confusing? Did it make sense? I’m not sure because I don’t really plan to edit this and I’m afraid that if I reread that line I will forget my story all together because I might stare at it and say, “What in the world?!”) Hmmmm…I think that last sentence was a run on sentence. Anywhoo….

First story. In college I ended up contracting the flu, which is something that rarely happens to me. Well, I was watching tv one night and I fell asleep while trying to watch “Boogie Nights.” Okay, well by the time I woke up, it was the ending scene with Mark Wahlberg talking to himself in the mirror. While I was watching this, I was thinking to myself, “What is he talking about? How long was I asleep?” At that point Mark stood up and pulled down his pants. Talk about a BAD image to see when you first wake up. I quickly reached for my remote and turned the tv off. I sat in the dark until I mustered up enough strength to walk to my room and crawl into bed. That was the first time I had the flu. I have been fluless eversince….Wait is fluless a word? Eh…who cares? When I’m sleepy I make up words too….OH WAIT…there was another story that I had tell you all…about my eyes and movies.

Well, in college one of my closest friends was this guy named Orlando. We hung out so much that he was actually able to predict my menses cycles…you think I’m kidding? He would walk up to me and say, I’m feeling crampy today, you’re getting your period tomorrow.” I would laugh at him, wake up the next day and then BOOOOOOOM! There it was. Scary, huh? Anyways, we would always watch movies together at my house or in my room and I would always fall asleep. Normally he would let me sleep and then make fun of me afterwards. This one time, he brought over a movie that he wanted me to see and so we began to watch it. Honestly, I wasn’t even tired at all. The movie had captured my attention and even though it was dark and we were snuggled close together, I was alert. Well he looks at me and smacked my arm! I looked at him and asked him, “what was that for?” He was like, “You were sleeping!” I told him that he was wrong but he didn’t believe me. He told me that he knew because my eyes were closed! I told him that if my eyes were closed I wouldn’t have seen him trying to study my face. Let’s just say that I ended up missing an important part of the movie not because I fell asleep but because I was arguing with him. Now before some of you get your drawers in an uproar, don’t sweat the fact that he hit me. It wasn’t that hard and besides, Orlando and I used to hitting each other a lot. When we were sophomores we both decided to kick the swearing habit. Well how can you do that? There isn’t a swearing patch and substituting swears for silly little words only last for so long when you are so used to saying the real thing (Let’s just say my mouth during my sophomore year of college wasn’t too lady like. Heck most of my male friends would blush when I got started), so we devised a plan where if you swore you got your hand smacked. Now now now….this wasn’t a little hand smack that you give a three year old. I’m talking you had to sit there with your hand out and wait for the person to wind up and smack it with all their might. It was quite painful actually and I think I got most of the hits…but when he dropped a four letter word, my hits always stung a few hours after…I guess I have the “mommy” hit….which is weird considering that I’m not a mom….but let’s not talk about this…I think my mom reads my blog every now and then and I don’t need to be giving her any ideas….especially after thanksgiving of 2004 when she told me that it was time for me to get married and give her a grand child!!! Exactly!!!! I’m like, “ummmm…can we leave my womb out of this conversation?” And yes, I know I will make a great mom, but I would make a greater mom if I take my time and do it the right way. And yes there is a right way. The day I tell the man who impregnated me (some how that’s making my face scrunch up in a not too good way) that I am having his baby, is a day that I hope he would never forget. I would want for it to be a happy occasion for him too! I don’t want to tell a guy that I’m bearing his child so he can respond, “Is it mine?” or “Are you keeping it?” or “I know it’s not mine Craig and ‘em told me you were sleeping around.” Well that last on I think I got it off of the talk shows that I used to watch in high school. I don’t want to have to drag a man on Maury just to prove to him that it’s his child. I expect tears, I expect dancing, I expect yelling, I expect a celebration and that’s just from me….I would like for him to join me in the crying happy yelling dance of the pregnant woman….I think I stepped a bit too far into the silly world with that one. But I would just want things to be cool for my child. My last memory of my pops was when I was 5. I think I told this story before, but I don’t have an internet connection so I can’t check. If you heard this story before, let your eyes gloss over a bit, that way you won’t have to read it again. For those who haven’t heard this story here it is:

I was 5 years old and I had just made a Father’s Day card for the sperm donator (He doesn’t deserve the title of “father” “dad” or anything else) and I think he called me or I called him on the phone. Well he told me that he was going to pick up his card and bring me some bubble gum, which made me very happy (hey I was 5 years old and I have always been the type of person where it’s the little things that make me happy in life). So I went downstairs and sat outside of my apartment and waited. I waited for hours and he never showed….my mom finally came downstairs and told me to come up because she didn’t think he was coming. And that was that. I had never heard from that coward again. He was man enough to make a baby but when it came to raising me and caring for me…he was just a selfish little boy (that’s the first time I said that…see what I mean about my inhibitions being lowered). Now before one of you (and there is always one) says, “Well Max, how do you know something didn’t happen to him? Well even if something did happen to him…he had 22 years to contact me and he didn’t. “Well Max how could he have contacted you?” There are way. If he really cared, he would have. Shoot, I have a very distinct first name. As a matter of fact, I use my nickname “Maxine” on here as well as other sites because it protects me. There are MANY Maxines but there seems to be only one person out there with my first name…trust me I google that name every 2-3 months to see if anyone else has it and spells it like me and I can’t find anyone, so trust me…if the sperm donator wanted to find me he could. Heck he was the one who gave me my name and that’s all he gave me.

So you see…what I experienced is the LAST thing I would want my child to experience and if I married a man who already has kids I would encourage him to make sure that his relationship with them was strong. There were there before me and I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I went through at all. It’s not fun sometimes…and people pity me when they hear the story or their hearts break for me (though, my heart doesn’t break….wait, I think that last sentence might just be a lie because I’m feeling some sort of emotion over here…)

Sometimes when my mind is very quiet and my environment is very quiet I think about him. I wonder what could make him leave his own child? When I picture my wedding day, it hurts to know that I won’t have a father to give me away. Ha, these are emotions that I have only expressed to one or two people in my life and neither of them are my family. I wonder sometimes if his leaving affected the way I have relationships with men. I mean, I’m not the type of chick who is looking for a father figure….If I am calling you daddy, I’m using the fun sense of the word and not the, “Young lady you march yourself upstairs, you’re grounded” sense of the word….LOL. Okay I’m going to end this blog…I think I am definitely embarking on a TMI Violation (tmi = too much information). Besides I think I just figured out a way to catch a nap while waiting for the repair person….wish me luck!!!!!

Until then gorgeous and handsome readers *yawns*

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Ya KNOW it! ;-)

Who has the time?

2006-07-11T22:44:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness!!!! Is anyone else annoyed by the commercials out there today? There is one that REALLY bothers me...It's those herpes commercials!

"I have genital herpes but who has time to take that prescription?"

YOU DO!!!! Oh my goodness...YOU DO!!!!!!!! What kind of attitude is that? Like I'm supposed to agree with them or something! Are you kidding me?!??!?!?!

One of those commercials state that 70% of genital herpes sufferers get it from their partner...So guess what? I guess they didn't have time to put on a condom either...But honestly who wrote that crap? Obviously they didn't have the time to think about how stupid and dangerous that one line is!

And be honest....Who stares at the actors? I mean, how do you REALLY know that they are acting? What if their acting abilities for this commercial stems from an ACTUAL genital herpes outbreak???? I know for me, I study the men in those commercials like a lioness studies her prey before she pounces. Seriously....You never know!! I kinda feel sorry for those actors. Sure, they are getting paid, but can you imagine the jokes they receive from their friends and family? My family would clown me until the commercials stopped running and once that happens they would probably pop out a video tape of the commercial so they could clown me a few times a year...Yes my family got jokes...Are you so shocked?

Now let's talk about feminine hygiene commercials!!!

Ummmmm.....When I am on my period, I do not dawn a tight pink top and a lil pink skirt and dance salsa around my house! Nor do I work out at the gym doing sit ups on a ball talking about how I'm not feeling bloated and how I'm craving something salty. Oh yes I DEFINITELY don't put on a bathing suit and parade around a beach talking with my friends about brownies!!!!! It just doesn't happen that way. I'm not exactly a tyrant either....But goodness, why are these commercials made to catch a man's eye? I mean they get all of the commercials. Shoot, you can't even sell a car without a woman draped over it. Let us keep our feminine hygiene commercials! I have to deal with all those stupid commercials that show women attacking guys because of the cologne that they wear so men should have to deal with some real commercials of women who are menstruating (yes I got technical there but so what?).

It seems that in this day and time...All of our commercials are made by 21 year old frat boys!

So until I start to see some real commercials I guess I will continue to scream back to my television, "You DO!" I will continue to roll my eyes when women who are on their menses are doing things that wouldn't even cross the average woman's mind to do!

Or am I the weird one? Well I am the weird one, but I mean on this topic...LOL.

Okay, my rant is over.

Until next time readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Free Falling

2006-07-10T12:22:00.000-05:00

It's funny...

I have always thought of myself as being a free spirit. You know I go with the flow. I'm laid back. I don't sweat anything in life. I can laugh at myself...well mostly because my life is so freakin' hilarious I either laugh at it or I cry....and most of you all know how much I HATE crying. Strong word? Well it's true.

But I realized these past 3 months that I am a free spirit in everything BUT my career plans. For the last 10 years of my life, I had only one career plan: Work my way through the ranks of higher education until I become president of a university (Northeastern University specifically). Well I'm pretty sure that has changed now. No no...it has changed now. I've been so stubborn, because I didn't want to realize that my path doesn't lead there. Instead of letting go and becoming a free spirit I fought the inner part of me because I refused to believe that I needed to let go of my plans. I can honestly say that I have given up that fight, so now I am in free falling mode...Meaning, I'm standing over a ledge, I turn my back, eyes closed, while I let go until I can feel myself gliding down....praying that something will catch me and it doesn't matter if that thing holds me forever or if it lets me go until I am caught again. I have a feeling this will be my fate for a while...until I lose the urge to want to control the career aspect of my life, but can you blame me? I have ALWAYS been the one that people looked at and said, "You know she has her stuff together!" I've always had plans. I always had goals that I met...And now it has to shift. I have to let go or else. So that's me right about now. Trying to unlearn everything that I've pumped into my system. Before you all say it...I agree it's for the best. Seriously me as a president? That would be cool but I always knew that the bureaucracy would drive me up the wall....

So, enough about me.

Normally I don't like writing in the blog too much but I think I will have to suck it up and do it. I have this friend who told me that he loves to read it during work and I know how much he hates his job, so why not do it? If he's the only one who reads this, I'm cool with that. Isn't that the entertainer's mentality? You give the same show to 3 people that you would give to 3,000 people! So I'm giving the same blog to one person that I would give to 1,000 people...like 1,000 people would ever read this.

I do enjoy the random comments that I receive from the rest of you all in regards to this. All of you find it funny. Great....laugh at my pain. Just kidding...I laugh at it too, so why shouldn't you? :-)

You don't sound black

It's interesting because lately I've been told that I have a non-ethnic voice...which honestly I have been hearing my entire life. Then again, anyone would if they had my mother. I'm not sure if her rules were in effect before I was born because I am 10 years younger than my oldest brother and 8 years younger than my second brother. All I know is growing up, we weren't allowed to use slang in the house. If you said the word "sucka" you had better be talking about a lollypop. Also, I remember the countless vocabulary quizzes that I had to take on Sundays. Seriously, I was only in the 3rd grade when she brought a book called "30 days to a powerful vocabulary." In addition to my vocabulary tests, in the summertime, if she didn't have enough money to send me to a summer camp, I had to do book reports. At least 2 book reports a week. With my best penmanship and everything had to be coherent. If it wasn't, the book report was tossed back to me and I had to do it all over again. Yea....fun times....BUT it kept me out of trouble. Living in the inner-city with children can be a tough task, but she knew exactly what to do in order to keep me in line. I actually began to teach myself slang when I was 13. I remember picking up terms from my school friends, leaving what they meant, and then practicing them at home (whenever my mom wasn't there). I got it to the point where I felt comfortable saying it and it became natural for others to hear me say it. Isn't that crazy?! It's true though...

Now that you have the history, let's jump back to the present. It used to bother me whenever people would say that I don't sound like I'm black. I guess it's because as I grew up, I was often called an "oreo" (black on the outside white on the inside), a "coconut" (brown on the outside white on the inside), and even a "twinkie" (yup you guess it! Yellow on the outside white on the inside. That one came from a kid who realized that I was too light to be called an oreo or a coconut...don't ya just wanna smack him?!?!?!). But as I look around and pay attention to the representation that blacks have on tv...I can't really blame the people who are shocked when I open my mouth. Especially if the only examples that they have of blacks are on tv or on their radio.

Heck, I want to start a company of translators for sports players and even hip hop stars. Sometimes even they confuse me! I figured I would hire some people and like translators do for those who speak another language, my translators would help the American public understand what the heck these stars are saying. I am willing to admit that the majority of my clientele will be individuals from the African Diaspora (or without the PC terms...minorities), but I also know that there will be some whites up in there too. Shoot, my own mayor (Thomas Menino...I can't stand that guy) he REALLY needs a translator! Seriously....it's bad. My mom calls him mumbles. She thinks it's cute...I think it's annoying....but enough about him, I'm trying to keep the mood light here.

Picture this...at the NBA Finals (the recent ones with the Mavs vs the Heat). The Heat just won the series and you see Shaq on your television screen talking to a reporter:

Reporter: So Shaq you just won! Can you tell us some of the strategies that you and your fellow teammates had to clinch the series?

Shaq: (mumbling) You see uh, we were just doin' our thang, tryin' to come together and play the same game. I mean, they were a tough team, but I guess in the end we just had it all together and that's why we won.

(the microphone moves over to the translator)

Translator: What he is trying to say is, "We won because we used the strategies that our coach mapped out for us in the beginning of the season. Teamwork played a BIG part in our game. Our competitors were tough, but we played a better game and that is why we are the champions!"

Reporter: Excellent! Shaq what are you plans now? You know that the series are over?

Shaq: (still mumbling) I'm probably going to sit back and chill for a while...hang out with my babies and my woman. Write some rhymes, do a lil acting on the side, drop some phat beats, and try to get an album going once again.

(the microphone moves over to the translator)

Translator: What my client is trying to say is, "I will relax for a bit. Spend some time with my children and my wife. Perhaps even write some lyrics, act on the side, create some songs, and put out another cd. Oh goodness!!! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!! (regains composure) Sorry, I slipped there. This interview is now over. Shaq needs to celebrate with his teammates.

Shaq: Peace!!!! Lahumah!

Translator: Bye!!! I love you mom!

See? It would work!!! It would be SO perfect! No longer would people get confused over stuff like that.

So I guess that's all I have to say right about now. It's funny because when I'm not in front of my computer, blog topics seem to flow, but as soon as I sit in front of this thing, they all disappear. I guess I need to write them down. Well I'm off. I'm trying to teach myself how to play the guitar....lol.

Until then readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!!

Do you love me Marilyn Jane?

2006-06-26T15:55:00.000-05:00

So yesterday, which was Sunday, my mom and I decided to go shopping together. Well actually, she decided to treat me to a day of shopping and I don't know about you all but shopping is fun...but when it's free...it's OFF DA HOOK! But I'm not sure if I have ever taken the time to explain my mom to you all. I think I will do that now. Let's just say we are polar opposites on many levels. She's an old school diva who likes to spend her time getting manicures and pedicures, wearing jewelry and furs, and strutting down the street, while I'm what you might call a funky diva because I love my natural looks and I wear them well and with pride, I prefer clothes that are funky yet comfortable, and I'm not sure if I strut down the street, but I walk with confidence. Okay, so to my shopping experience:

We arrived to my store of choice and low and behold there was a sale!!! So when I first saw the sign I was like, "yay! 70% off!!" But when I stepped in...oh the fashion SUCKED!!!! My mom came in after me and she noticed the frown on my face, which I tend to have if I'm thinking or upset. She asked me what was wrong and I told her that I wasn't interested in what was there. She asked me to look again. I guess she saw some things there that she wanted me to be in...but she knows better than to try and push them on me because the more she (or anyone) pushes, the more I resist. So I looked around the store once again and picked out some undergarments and fabrics that I felt would make a cool headband. What a waste! Free money and nothing to spend it on. Also while going through the store, I realized that I already have a lot of clothes, so that turned off my desire to shop completely. I have this thing about not buying things until I need them. So there we are, standing at the register...here is a bit of our dialogue:

Mom: I don't know why you couldn't find anything in the store that you liked.

Me: I don't know, I'm just not feeling it here. I got some things, thanks for buying them for me.

Mom: I don't know why I'm spending money on possible headbands for you...

Me: Because you love me. (smiles)

Mom: Right (laughs)

Me: Hey! Have you noticed my birkenstocks? I'm breaking them in.

Mom: Oh?

If you could have only seen her face. Trust me, she died a little inside. She admitted it i the car. She also admitted to me that she wears lipstick to bed, which made me die a little inside. I mean here she is making sure that her lips stay red before she goes to sleep and the only thing I like to do is brush my teeth and wash my face. The only thing I want on my body when I sleep is the covers and every now and then a eye mask if I need to sleep in the morning, but that's it.

From there we went food shopping. Food shopping with my mom is SOOO annoying! She's the type who is satisfied with chicken and popcorn whereas I'm usually in the health food section checking out the soy products and veggies. Growing up I had to deal with frozen broccoli which she cooked until they were mushy along with spices. (gagging) That's why now, if I'm having broccoli, it's raw and there might be some dressing on the side for me to dip but chances are it's plain.

Shopping is so bad with my mom. she is no longer allowed to follow me up and down the aisles because I got sick and tired of hearing her mouth. "Oh so you eat sushi?" "Why are you buying that?" "I'm telling you, you have expensive taste." "Why can you just get the other stuff over there?" "Oh you're allergic to that? Since when?" "SINCE the day you gave it to me mom and my tongue and throat swelled up! Now please, go away!" That's all I end up saying to her. My mom and I are different in many ways, but the way we debate is the funniest thing in the world. The majority of our debates end up with me saying, "oh just SHUT IT!" In a respectful manner of course. But this upcoming dialogue is the funniest thing in the world to me because not only were we going at it, but we also had an audience. I always feel sorry for the person who has to interact with her and you will see why.

To set up the scene, we are now going through the check out line:

(My mom walks down the aisle and pushes the cart towards the bagger. I walk behind her and stand at the end with the bagger)

Mom: (to the bagger in a gruff voice) I want double plastic. (to me) Goodness your food is expensive! You get on my nerves!

Me: (laughing) Whatever mom.

Mom: (to the bagger who is obviously using two plastic bags) I said TWO plastic bags!

Me: Mom, he is using two plastic bags! Leave the man alone. Let him do his job. (to the bagger) Sorry, my mom is a little bossy, but she's my mom, so I win. (the bagger laughs and gives me a "help me" look)

Mom: Well I was just making sure!

I can't remember the rest of the conversation from here. All I remember is she started to get playfully dramatic and so I joined her. I remember saying out loud, "Oh SHUT IT! You aren't helping our race out acting like this in public!" She laughed. People were looking at us not sure if they should laugh or be completely mortified. As we got outside of the supermarket she started to die down. I turned to her and said, "Thanks, of course you can act up in there! You don't live in this area. I'm the only one who has to come back here!" She laughs as usual and begins to rag on my birkenstocks. "Who wears birkenstocks!" She says. "When you showed me those shoes I was like, 'Dear God no!' And they are expensive!" "Oh yes, please let me go through your closet and pull out your shoes please! You're just mad because they aren't fashionable according to you." There was some comments made about blacks and birkenstocks and people's sexual orientation and birkenstocks, but I will not mention them here...sheesh.

I swear my mom is a beautiful person. If you met her you would fall in love with her immediately. It's just that when you put the two of us together and we are both in a playful dramatic mood, then you either have some great entertainment or you have some very uncomfortable moments. I think that's both of our favorite parts, shocking people. Kinda like one day when we were shopping. I was 13 at the time and I was pushing the cart. She was looking at some milk and I was kinda hyper at the time, so she turned from the milk and said to me, "Stop moving that cart," in a stern voice. The sound of her voice made me stop dead in my tracks, but it also made an employee, who was trying to remove another cart stop dead in his tracks and say, "huh?" My mom and I looked at him, laughed in his face, and walked away. Poor guy...

Oh well, I think I will end this blog here. I'm not sure if this is another long one. I'll find out when I press the publish post button...

All right darling readers until next time!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Sorry, but based on your application...

2006-06-18T03:49:00.000-05:00

Dating Resumes

How much easier would life be if before you dated someone you had to exchange resumes? I mean, we do it for jobs...You hand your resume to a boss and together you both decide if the job is something you want and if you are the type of employee that they want. Why can't we do this for dating? A friend of mine even suggested that there should be a carfax for dating...That would be SO cool! I think I would date a bit more if that were the case. I mean, picture this scenario:

You meet a hot guy, in my case, someone who is musically and artistically inclined and you both exchange resumes. After viewing each other resumes, you set up an interview process. My process would have two rounds. The first round would be with my guy friends and male family members. The second round (if he ever got there) would be with my girl friends and the female members of my family (which would be torture). They would be asked so many questions. For example:

1. Are you on the down low?
2. Are you anyone's baby daddy?
3. How many kids do you have? By how many women?
4. Do you go to church? What was last weeks' sermon about? What's your favorite Bible verse? Recite it for us.
5. Do you have mental illness in your family?
6. What is your father's last name? Your mothers? (Thanks to my absent father, this question would be an important one because I don't want to give birth to kids with 3 heads and one finger on each hand. Though that wouldn't be necessary if I'm dating someone of a different race.)

And so on...

I know this whole process sounds weird, but in previous relationships, when I caught the guy that I was dating in a lie, he would ALWAYS respond, "But you didn't ask." I'm not talking about one guy either. This way, I could respond to him, "Yes I did!" A lot of people end up dating someone who starts of one way and ends up another way in the middle of the relationship. My way would prevent that because your friends and family only want the best for you so they would work hard to make sure that you received that.

Finally...Each resume would have to come with 5 references (their exes). Sure they would put the ones that they still have a amicable relationship with, BUT even those exes will have stories that could help shed some light on your potential date or even life mate. Now if the person only dated 1 person, he or she could use friends and family has references.

I don't know about you all...But this sounds good! Even if it is 6:12 am on Sunday and I still haven't slept a wink yet...I think my plan could work. Yes, it is time consuming, but at least you can enter into the relationship with a clear head, a sound mind, and knowing exactly what you are getting yourself into. No more psycho chicas/chicos. No more abusive relationships. No more men who are dating you while they have a girlfriend who is 8 months pregnant with their baby! Yea...That really happened to me...jackass. Anywhoo...No more of that! *sigh*

So who's down? LOL

Until then lovely readers!

Love, Peace and Hair Grease

P.S. 30 Days is a show where Morgan Spurlock shows people living in an environment that is completely different from their normal habitat. For example, he took two people out of the state of New York who were very wasteful when it came to energy and had them live in a comune where everything was solar powered and simplistic. It's a good show that encourages thinking...I suggest that everyone should check it out. The first show is June 26th on FX.

Migraine...

2006-06-14T00:49:00.000-05:00

SO I got the dreaded headache. I'm talking I can't stand to be in the light, my stomach is feeling nauseous, every little sound annoys me, and all I want to do is sleep but I can't, MIGRAINE. This one started out SO weird. I was on my way out of the door. I got extremely light-headed so I told my roommate that I was going to go downstairs and lie down...next thing you know it...it's 2 hours later and I wake up in pain...but oh well...I'll deal, this isn't what I want to talk about. I've got some odd thoughts on my mind that I need to get out so I can sleep this crap away...

Thought number 1:

Is anyone else happy that 30 Days is going to be on soon? I love Morgan Spurlock and if anyone is interested in a show that will make you think...check it out! I can't wait! I'm excited!!!

Thought number 2:

Why is it that people who normally don't contact you pick the time when you don't want to talk or being around human beings to call you? Is it fate? Someone playing jokes here?

Thought number 3:

Baby oil and a spatula could be a DANGEROUS weapon if in the right hands.

Thought number 4:

No one seems to be answering my q-tip question, I guess it's time for me to start polling people myself.

Thought number 5:

I think I'm going to cut and paste an email that I sent to my friends about my insane thoughts. I think I'll do it now...and this will end my post for tonight..it's almost 2 am and my mind is empty of odd thoughts. Time to focus on the migraine.

If this doesn't make sense, ignore it...I know I will...lol.

Here is the copy of the email. Enjoy!!!!!
----------------------------------------------

Hey Family, Friends, Lovers, and the rest of y'all,
:-)

How was your Thanksgiving? Mine was fine. I hope
that yours was good also.

In order for me to fight the infamous "Colored
People's Disease" I came up with about 75 thoughts(or
ramblings), but I'm only sending 55, that I tend to
think about or question.
(*NOTE: If you don't know what "Colored People's
Disease is...ask the person next to you...if they
don't know ask me)

Why would I send these out?

Well, some of you will get a kick out of most of them.
Some of you will shake your head and say, "only Max."
Others might become inspired to make their own lists.
You know who you are and which category you fit into.
So happy reading. And as always please feel free to
tell me what you think. :-) Just don't become
offended. IF you feel offense tapping you on your
shoulder...remember...Max doesn't mean it that way.

The Ramblings of Ms. Maxine

1. Where does lint go once you pick it off?

2. Picture this: You're walking down a dark street
and a car with tinted windows drives up on you. A
person, in disguise gets out and smacks you with a
pillow...jumps back into the car and drives off. What
do you do?

3. If Christmas is JESUS's b-day and HE's not here to
receive HIS gifts directly...why doesn't everyone give
HIS gifts to the homeless?

4. For a county that trusts in GOD so much I never
seen so many people scared to fly.

5. Why isn't it ok for a parent to spank their kids
when they did something wrong, but it's ok for the
police to go around beating people? If most criminals
were spanked...chances are they would be different.

6. Since women are shaving off their eyebrows and
drawing them back in...is the next phase to shave off
their hair and draw it back in?

7. Can the Flo-BE work on an afro? And if not, why
hasn't an Afro Flo-Be been invented?!

8. Is it me or does all R&B say the same things but
with different wording?

9. What is the purpose of weave? EVERYONE knows it's
fake! And what about the poor horse? It can't swat
flies off it's back anymore.

10. Can a 19 year old wear depends?

11. People get upset when they hear about another
culture that eats cats and dogs, but how does a
person, with a pet chicken, feel when they see you
sucking on a chicken bone?

12. A friend once told me that she loves to eat hogs
head cheese and pigs feet, but when asked if she would
eat escargot...she exclaimed, "No!" But wait...pigs
use the bathroom in their pens and then walk around,
sleep, and chill in it ALL day!

13. How can you really "tell someone off?" And what
goes off once you're finished?

14. Why do we call unidentified bodies "John Doe?"
Was it originally a John Doe who donated his name?

15. My mother tells me to never baby, a man or pump
up his ego or do everything for him. Yet I see her,
my aunt and female cousins doing all of that for my
brother....EVERYDAY. hmm...

16. Do I really are about Justin and Britney?

17. Can a mute person make a booty call?

18. Who determines what is crazy? Wouldn't you have
to be crazy in order to spot the signs?

19. Why doesn't white and off-white match? Who made
up that rule? Isn't that discrimination?

20. Why are some of the most militant anti-white
blacks married to white people?

21. Everyone makes a big deal about Michael Jackson
and his skin color. If he did change his skin color
then why are you shaking your head while going to the
tanning salon for the 3rd time this week?

22. Why can't I marry myself so I can keep all the gifts?

23. Is it wrong that I want to take all the cute gay
men and turn them straight by shooting them with my
sex change gun? And then take all the ugly men and
turn them gay?

24. Why did LL Cool J want a girl with extensions in her
hair, bamboo earing at least two pair? Does he know
something we don't?

25. If you went to a wedding and the first dance the
bride and groom does is the electric slice what would
you think?

26. How come you hardly see black folks in Disney
movies? Was there ever a black star in Disney movies?

27. Who came up with the word pun and why?

28. Does being PC all the time bother anyone else?

29. If Tiger changed golf, and Arthur, Venus, and
Serena changed tennis...where the heck is the black
Martha Stewart? And would she teach us how to use
ghetto items to decorate our homes?

30. If a tree fell in the woods and no one was
there....WHY WOULD I CARE?!

31. How come Ed McMann/Publish Clearing House never
goes to the hood to give people money?

32. Why would a person steal a Bible? Aren't they
defeating the purpose of having one?

33. What's the worst? Someone sneezing in the salad
bar and you don't know or someone sneezing on the
sneeze guard and you seeing that? And are sneeze
guards accomondating to people under 5 feet tall?

34. What is the purpose of talking to yourself if you
don't answer?

35. Is is still indecent exposure if I walk naked in
a neighborhood filled with blind people?

36. Mimes...why?

37. Bring back school spankings....PLEASE!

38. Adults should get spankings too...

39. If someone with bad body odor sits next to
someone with bad breath...don't you t think it's funny
that they would notice each other's funk?

40. Sometime I miss my imaginary adopted sister,
Jennifer. I would write her imaginary letters, but I
don't know her imaginary address.

41. What ever happened to Michael Bolton?

42. Why should I feel upset that a transvestite is
more feminine than me? Like vegetarian meat, they
have to work 10 times as hard to try to be like that
real thing...but they can never be...even after an
operation.

43. If Martin and Malcolm lived...what would they
think of the jheri curl?

44. A moment of silence for the great old skool
bands, like the Gap Band who is now reduced to singing
in commercials about bottled water.

45. If I found Michael Jackson's nose...do I get an
award?

46. Why do most people hide behind their color when
the issue of rhythm comes up? JUST TRY WHITE
PEOPLE!!!

47. Since there are no toilets for insects...and they
have to go somewhere...is it safe to say that
sometimes it isn't random rain drops you're feeling?

48. I want to kidnap Carrot Top and beat him with a
pillow case filled with door knobs...anyone want to
come? I'm forming a posse.

49. I like saying Platypus...how about you?

50. Can something really smell like "open ass?" And if so can you close it?

51. Why do people with roaches always place the blame
on their neighbors?

52. Now that Clinton is in Harlem, is he down with
the swirl?

53. What is the purpose of cotton candy? Except to
make children bounce off the walls?

54. I've heard "America love it or leave it!" And I
wonder was that slogan used in England when the
Pilgrims made their journeys?

55. Is it strange that I've never seen a Native
American up close?

I hope you enjoyed it! I did when I read through it again...

All right readers...it's time to take down the migraine...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!

Some day my prince will come...

2006-05-29T19:53:00.000-05:00

I don't the exact time I stopped believing in the "one true love" theory. You know that one. It's the one where you and this person have been a part for sooo long! You grew up in the US and he grew up in Spain, but you were DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER!!!! So you both deal with absolute pain and suffering until that one day...you glance at each other across a crowded room. Cut to scene where you both are running through a field in slow motion. You both continue to run until AT LAST Your true LOVE has come along!!!! He/she now completes you. You are SO happy! They are the ying to your yang...the stick to your popsicle, the platanos to your arroz y habichuelas (plaintains to your rice and beans...sorry...I'm craving Spanish food at the moment). But you get the point, right?

Well I don't believe in that anymore. I guess one can say I'm more realistic about this. Sure I still believe in love but so help me if someone tells me "Don't worry Max, you'll find someone to love you," ONE MORE TIME...I'm going to slap them silly with my pimp hand. I'm not sure which one is my pimp hand...but I will be willing to find out if I hear those words again! Sorry for getting violent but you just don't how many times I have to hear those words!!! Look...I know that I'm not ugly (shoot as a matter of fact, if I were a guy I would so date me...I sexually harass myself on a daily basis...LOL), I got a slammin' personality (I'm the type of woman who treats good men like kings of the universe because I already know that I'm its queen), I'm hilarious (I can make anyone laugh), I'm laid back, intelligent (oh so intelligent! I'm SMART!), and so modest...oh my goodness can't you tell??? So I don't need anyone's pity. I know I'm the bomb and if I was willing to settle I would be married right now...not happy...but married.

I just don't believe in the "one person" who is waiting for me...

I see so many people who are afraid because they pushed away a good person. Afraid because they think that was their last shot a love...but that's not true. The way I see it is like this: I've met so many men and we clicked so quickly. I mean, the mental vibe was so strong that I was like "whoa." But for whatever reason, we couldn't do anything. Like, they lived too far away, they are married/engaged/dating seriously/gay, the drama in our lives made it impossible for us to concentrate on anything else but our lives. See what I mean? But does that mean that I will never find love? Ummm...NO. I will...but I guarantee you it won't be a Cinderella experience! I mean, I really think television, music, and movies ruin the truth about love. They feed us pictures of people falling in love and that's all they need. They don't really mention the part where you're looking at your significant other and you're deciding whether or not you're going to continue to love them when you see them lick their fingers and insert them once again into the peanut butter jar. Or the times when you want to kill them because they decided to video tape you in the bathroom...and no these things haven't happened to me, and I feel for the person who tries...but c'mon people in love go through these things ALL the time!

I'm actually happy that I don't believe in the "one true love" theory. SO HAPPY!!!! The way I see it is like this. One day, someone who has either been in my life for a long time or someone who sees me walking down the street will tell me (after a month or two of dating) that they are in love with me and I will respond in a very positive manner and I will marry him and there will be punums (children)...lol. But it wouldn't be a situation where we're like, "Oh my goodness...I was half of a person when I met you...blah blah blah. It's going to be more of a "hey, you're chill...I like you." lol...

And I'm okay with that. Well I must bring this blog to an end because I just do...lol.

So until then kiddies!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

Too Young to be Tied Down....

2006-05-28T15:26:00.000-05:00

Man, I reread my last post that I wrote here and golly!!! LOL *pokes depressed Maxine*

And the winner for one of the most dramatic posts goes to... *opens envelop*
Oh my goodness! I knew she would win. I voted for her myself. MAXINE!!!! C'mon up depressed chica and accept this award!!!

*I walk up on stage and accept my award*

Wow...thanks! I didn't think I would ever get this! I mean, there were SOOO many people out there who could have won this! I would first like to thank God, not because He gave me this mood but because I won! I would also like to think my mom. *Holds out award* THANKS MOM!! You gave birth to me and you dealt with me during my teenage years. To my friends...you guys are the bomb...don't ever forget that! And to the members of the Drama Awards...thank you for noticing this chica from the Boston area. Although I honestly try to limit the amount of drama that I experience in my life it tends to hunt me down, capture me, and hold me hostage. So Drama...you're my favorite of all!!! *winks* Without you, I don't think I would be able to write as much! *music starts playing* Okay, I guess my time is up. To my fans I am nothing without you!!!!

LOL

Sorry, I had to poke fun at that last post...but yea the title of my post for today. I'm not talking about commitment, although the thought of it tends to freak me out sometimes. I'm talking about jobs. I originally wanted to work in higher education, but now I am thinking that I want to put that on the back burner for a while. You know, get some experience in something that I've always wanted to do. When I was a teenager I had a job that paid me to write stories, poems, ANYTHING! And you know what? That wasn't work for me at all. I just couldn't believe that someone was going to pay me good money to do something that I already do. But trust me, I took the money and ran with it. The funny part is...I want that now. But not just write...maybe sing, I just don't know. Perhaps I could meet up with a professional photographer and he could teach me the tricks of the trade...GOSH MY HEAD!!!! LOL...Sorry, I've been thinking a lot lately and me coming to the revelation of not wanting to experience the higher ed track has lifted a HUGE boulder off of my shoulders. For the first time in a long time I can breathe easily. I mean, I came to this epiphany earlier in the year, but I allowed someone to talk me out of it (Stupid me). As I gaze around my living room I notice the awards that are on my wall. I see one that I received for a poem that I had published when I was 20 (yea 7 years ago) and I'm wondering why do I only have one? I have journals filled with poems...it's about time that they see the light, right? I think so!!!

I guess what freaked me out about admitting that higher education might not be something that I want to explore yet is the fact that I've been taught to have something constant in my life. My mom really wants that for me and I know that if I begin to jump from job to job that would make her uneasy. And yea I know, I can't live my life for her but she's made so many sacrifices for me thanks to that jackass sperm donor who left me when I was 5 years old...otherwise known as my dumb ass father. I mean, my mom had to step up in my life. My brothers still had their father in their lives and there I was the fatherless baby of the family. Life was great with my mom. Sure we've has some fights (oh my goodness...I still have the emotional scars from some of those things) but when I look back on my life...I seem to only see the good parts first. Going to the Nutcracker together and being the only two people there dressed down. At first I felt out of place, but she turned to me and said, "Don't we paid the same amount of money that they did, so who cares?" Her supporting my weird beret phase by buying a beret of every color...but the story that I will never forget is the day that I was on my way to school and I didn't have any lunch money. I guess she had forgot to buy some food for lunch or something, but she didn't have a dollar to give me so she gave me her half dollars. But here's the thing, they were so precious to her. She had been saving them for the longest time and she gave them to me. I looked into her eyes and said to her, "But mom, you've been saving these for the longest time! They are precious to you." She smiled sadly and said, "I know, but you need to have lunch so here." I'm tearing up remembering that day because it consumed my thoughts throughout the entire day until I spent them. I can easily replace the 2 half dollars by giving my mom 2 more...but her sacrifice deserves much more and that much more is having a daughter who financially secure, who is able to take care of her when she grows old. She deserves that BIG time and I even have plans one day to buy her one of those rare coin collections filled with silver half dollars. That way she will know that I haven't forgot. I even plan to compose a poem recapping that day. She deserves it...I am who I am because of her. I look around my townhouse and remember how life was when I was a kid. It definitely wasn't as lavish as I have it now. When I go home to visit her, I look around the house and I think, "Goodness, this woman has done everything in her power to lift her family out of poverty!" And now it's time for her children to continue.

So do you see my dilemma? She freaks out when I'm not consistent. When I was in college I started out as a psychology major. Then I decided to change to communications. Imagine her shock and the many times I was asked, "So what can you do with that degree? How will you be able to support yourself?" Well at that time, I wanted to be the next Oprah (stop laughing), but then higher education tapped me on my shoulders, and I said, "okay." Then the questions started flooding in and everyone thought that my degree in higher ed meant that I wanted to be a teacher so I let them believe that. (I wasn't trying to be evil, I just don't like to explain things a lot so after answering a few questions, I was just like, "whatever" if they think I want to be a teacher, then let them. Who is it hurting???)

Now....well now I want to tell her, "Ummm, Mom? Let's talk about this higher education stuff..."

I know, I can't live for my mom. And I'm young so this is my time to explore every option that I want...even if it is tap dancing (just kidding). So, I guess it's time for me to unlatch myself from the Higher Education train (sorry, I'm listening to a station filled with 90's music and the song C'mon and Ride it by the Quad City Dj's is playing so that should explain the metaphoric phrasing) and find another mode of transportation. It doesn't mean that I will never go back to that field. It just means that I need something else to satisfy my needs for now or forever... *shrugs*

-------------------Completely different topic--------------------------

I'm conducting this experiment and I figured why not post it under my blog. I mean I think about 3 people read this thing...so you three can answer a question for me.

One day my friend Jason (and yes I consider you to be a friend) asked me this question:

When you step out of the shower and you use a q-tip. Do you wet (either by placing it in your mouth or under running water) it before you use it?

If you want to answer it, could you just reply to my blog, and oh yea...could you tell me your ethnicity? I'm working on a theory here but I can't tell you what that theory is because it would ruin my experiment (I guess I learned something from psychology after all). Once I collected my data, then I will explain my hypothesis along with my theories in a future blog. You don't have to give me your name. You can do it anonymously...but I would appreciate any help that you give me and I believe my brother from another mother (bump "in another world" Jason...so I guess that would make me your sister from another mister...lol) would appreciate your help too.

Until then my darling readers!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!

I Wish the Real world would just stop hassling me

2006-05-26T03:08:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had a time when everything as well as nothing was going on in your life? Well that's what I'm going through. I kinda wish that I could go to my Happy Place for a while but my Happy Place is so far away and besides I don't think my roommate would all me to lie in my bed all day in the fetal position...Though it sounds sooo good to me at this point and time. Now wait, before you pick up the phone and call the men with the cute white jackets, relax. I used to go through this a lot when I was a grad student and working full time. This is my, "Hmmm...Something is wrong with me but I don't feel like admitting what it is." Sounds crazy? Well yes it is! It's very crazy...But it's my craziness and I'll deal with it thank you...LOL.

Today I go so upset over something so little and as much as I tried to calm my body down, it kept tensing up...So I did the one thing that would cure me of my harsh emotions....I put in a sad movie and I cried out my frustrations. Sounds odd? Try it, it works. I guess it's a chick thing, but all I knew was after the movie, I was stuffed up...My eyes were swollen, but I felt better...A little bit moody (hence my ability to do this blog) but better.

I guess it's my time to be trapped in my thoughts. That way no one can bother me at all. I stare at my cell phone when it rings, check the messages after, and then I go on from there. Still wish I can go to my Happy Place...But it might scare Kel as well as some of my friends who expect me to be their rock at all times. Well you know what? If you take a rock and drip water down on that rock and the same spot...Guess what? That rock is going to change it's shape. I don't know...It might even break. But am I breaking? Hmmm...I don't think so. If I were breaking do you really think I would be talking to you all about this? NOPE. Hmmm....Happy Place.

When I was in the hospital because of my broken ankle I used to get morphine and demorall (spelling?) all of the time. All I knew was when they were injected in me, the walls would begin to sprout flowers and the ground began to grow grass. The next thing you know it, I was running through a meadow. No one bothered me and my ankle was healed...Shoot I was frolicking though that field so I'm pretty sure my ankle was healed! But I liked that place. I would wake up to find myself in a hospital with a doctor looking me or a nurse forcing me to get out of bed. Hmmm...Happy Place. I would really like to be there. Just for a while...To borrow a line from Matchbox 20:

I wish the real world would just stop hassling me

What's wrong, you ask? C'mon, do you really think I would tell you? The purpose of this blog isn't to beg for sympathy or to allow a question and answer period. It's just me...Letting my blog juices flow (LOL...Jason) to give me a chance to start processing what the devil is going on inside of my noggin' because until I do that...This will be my mood...My Happy Place will be my dream....And the real world will be my nightmare. Hmmm...That last line could be a poem if I felt like writing one...LOL.

Hmmm...Happy Place.

Until then readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

P.S. I would apologize for the tone of this blog, but I don't feel like it. Sounds harsh...yea I know. Happy Place...

Disgusted

2006-05-16T13:05:00.000-05:00

I swear...

If I hear ONE more commercial for a show that that states "We will show you how to look like the celebrities without spending a lot money" I'm going to go postal. I'm talking storming up and down the streets of Boston and hitting people with whatever is in my hands...yea I know that the "term" postal insinuates that the person has a gun, but I've lost enough people to homicides...I don't want to go there.

But anyways...I have to finish my rant.

Remember back in the days? You know when the celebrities were cool, but the secrets to their beauty were a well kept secret? Can we go back to those days? I personally don't care what JLo does to get her nice "glow" but it seems to me that more and more of our youth today are falling into that nonsense. I mean...you have reality television on MTV that shows young people going into plastic surgeons offices just so they can have Britney Spears' looks or Ricky Martin's chest! What are we doing to ourselves?! What happen to accepting our differences and lovin' what we got? Sure I don't look like any of the celebrities out here and I'm darn proud of that! I remember back in the day I used to be on this site called College Club. Whenever I met a new guy he would say, "which celebrity do you look like the most?" I would always respond, "I look like me...no one else." But I guess that's just me...you know a individual until the day I die. When I was in middle school I had the beret phase thing...and let's not forget the African print shoes, or my favorite pair or shoes in the whole wide world...my tennis shoes with smiley faces in different colors all over it. OH I loved those shoes!!! I just so wish that everyone could be chill with themselves!!!! If everyone decided to change their looks to their favorite celebrity then this country will become one filled with copies...instead of one filled and decorated with funky individuals!

Who do we have to thank for this? Well for once it's not the government...it's the media! They are the ones who flood our televisions and magazines with this crap! To this day, I refuse to have a magazine subscription. I've had a few when I was younger like Jet, Ebony, and Latina...but I started to notice that I didn't agree with the messages that they were giving: If you want to look like this celebrity buy this lipstick. If you want to be sickly thin follow this celebrity's diet plan. If you want to objectify yourself, but this celebrity's bathing suit. If you want to have the type of hair that makes him want to run his fingers' through but this shampoo and conditioner along with this hair color.

I decided to wear my hair natural when I was a sophomore in college (as opposed to having it chemically straightened). So one day I was rocking my fro and I heard someone say, "Oh that's how a lot of sistahs are wearing their hair with the afro and the head scarf today thanks to Jill Scott." I turned and said, "I decided to go natural 1 year ago. Looooong before Jill Scott hit the scene!" I was so upset! I mean how dare he think of me as a conformist!!!

I just think that EVERYONE is this world would be happier if they were happy with themselves and not coveting another person's physical traits.

Am I wrong?

OF COURSE NOT!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE DEALING WITH?!

Is it me?

2006-05-12T07:26:00.000-05:00

*Typing this post while still technically asleep*

I don't know about y'all but my mom loves to send me forwards. Everytime I open my yahoo account, there are about 5 waiting for me at 8 am. Well this one was quite interesting to me cuz it tells you the "characteristics" of people born during certain months. Normally when I read something about November babies it freaks me out...because most of the time I'm being told that I'm some sort of sexual freak who will destroy anything in my path...yes, I'm a scorpio too. But this one kinda cracked me up. Check this out:

---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes (ME: ONLY JUST A LIL BIT). Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind (Me: I prefer 1 in a million...lol).

It hits a lil too close to home don't it? LOL. But what's deal with the line "the greates men are born in this month?" What about the women??? Oh but wait, this is my MOST favorite under the Novemeber Babies post:

Repost
in 5 mins & you will excel in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

Are you kidding me?! That's like me going up to someone and saying, "If you give me $50.00 something good will happen to you during this week."

Ok, it's time for me to start my last day at this temp job. I'm not sure if this post makes sense...but then again, does it REALLY matter if it make sense? I mean, here I am pouring out my heart for your entertainment and criticism...lol. Oh goodness, whatever...

3 days without sunlight....3 more to go. I better get some sunshine soon or one of two things are going to happen. 1. I'm hiring someone to follow me around with one of those tanning lights. 2. I'm going to go postal and I don't even work in a post office...lol.

Until then homies...lol.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!

P.S. To the person who posted the coffee remark, this chica under the influence of any type of drug is not a good thing. Shoot...it's bad enough that I'm under the influence of myself...lol.

Women's Bathroom

2006-05-11T08:22:00.000-05:00

Before I get into this post...let me first say:

WARNING!!! The following blogger has coffee in her system and she isn't a coffee drinker, so I'm not sure what's going to come out of my head...

Let's talk women's bathrooms.

What annoys me most about the women's bathrooms is the women. Okay...hmmm...perhaps annoy is too strong of a word. It actually kinda cracks me up. What is it? It's the fact that you have many women out there who are ashamed to "perform" certain bodily functions when there is someone in there. You know who you are. You are chillin' doin' number 2 (yes, I decided to use a nicer term) and someone comes into the bathroom. What do you do? You stop!!!! I always find that fact fascinating! I mean we ALL have the same bodily functions! I'll tell you one thing, first of all I personally don't like using public bathrooms, not because I'm shy...it's because of all the dirty things I've seen in the bathrooms! When I was a grad student, one of my co-workers walked out of the bathroom without washing her hands (first alarm) THEN when I walked into the office she was there eating a sandwhich WITHOUT plastic wrap around it (second alarm)!!! There were no sinks between the women's bathroom and the office...so you see stuff like that freaks me out BIG TIME!

Why am I writing this post? Well I just think it's silly for people to stop what they are doing just so they can "pretend" to the person that they aren't doing what it's so obvious they are doing...lol. Unless you're stuff smells like cake (mmmmmm...cake smells) then the person is going to know what you're doing as soon as they step into the bathroom. My thing is...continue what you're doing but since someone is in the bathroom with you...give some curtesty flushes...but that's it. I know that what I'm about to say is mean...but I have to say it. It's a warning to all the ladies out there. If you're using the bathroom and I walk in and I hear you stop (because you don't realize it...but most people make noises when they stop that function) I'm going to take my TIME in the bathroom. Oh, I used to do it all the time in college. I'll take my time using the bathroom, getting re-dressed, I'll wash my hands for like 3 minutes, then pull out some lotion and start to slowly lotion each finger and under each finger nail, I would check my hair...even it it's twisted and doesn't require a comb or pick, I would mess around with it, try out a new hairstyle, then glance at myself in the mirror and make faces at myself. This whole exchange will take about 15 minutes....lol. The funny part is going to the door and hearing the person finally relax. I know, you're calling me mean, but am I? I didn't make the person ashamed to do stuff like that in public...I'm just being, well? Okay mean *sighs* but I can't help it. I can understand if perhaps you were the ONLY person who did number 2s but goodness we all do it and if someone tells you that they don't, then that person has some issues. Though there was one time when a friend of mine had to go to the bathroom, so since it's a chick's rule to not allow your girl to go to the bathroom alone (especially in an old empty building like we were in) I went with her. Let's just say that within 1 minute I was leaving the bathroom, within 3 minutes I walked down the stairs away from the bathroom to escape the sounds coming from her stall, and within 6 minutes, I was not only outside of the bathroom and down the stairs, I was around the corner shaking my head because not only could I still hear her "noises" she was cracking up! I felt bad for ANY woman who had to go to the bathroom. Perhaps my girl should have practiced some of the shame that most women practice...lol.

I don't think I'm even going to edit this (coffee is still flowing in system)...I'll do a grammar check because it bothers me to see my writings with errors.

Oh yea, to the person who responded to my blog yesterday...thanks for the response. I'm slowly starting to realize that I can't save everybody and I think as long as I let that thought sink in...I won't crash as hard. It shocks me to this day when I find that someone is actually reading this stuff. Why write a blog you say? Well I normally have a journal for my deeper thoughts but I wanted to have something for my silly thoughts...hence the blog. I am a BIG thinker and I need several outlets to clear my thoughts or I would go crazy just like the tagline under my title suggests.

All right, I GUESS I should go back to work.

Hasta Manana hombres y mujeres!

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease

Look Up in the Sky!!

2006-05-10T07:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, so here I am. It's a gloomy day in fair Boston. It's the type of day where you need to dress in layers cuz no matter what you do, you're going to get drenched in the rain. I'm so upset that I could't wear flip flops today (yes, I wear them to work...don't sweat me) but oh well any day that I am able to rise out of my bed is a good day, right?

Now this post that I am about to do has been annoying me. I have to type it out. I was going to do it during lunch but since I'm early, I figured what the heck? LOL.

So here we go...

Ummm....no, not really my style, let's change that track...lol.

Let's talk about my hero complex. And yes it is a complex. Tell me if y'all feel the same way. Since I live in a city, I normaly frequent the bus...and EVERYDAY I take the bus there is always some one on it who is standing but isn't holding on to anything in the event that the bus stops short. I always look at them and think to myself, "wow you're setting yourself up to fall stupid" but then another thought begins to form in my head. Suddenly, I begin to think, "okay if the bus stops short and he or she becomes off balance, how can I save them?" LOL. I'm serious. I plan this crap out in my head, my "rescue plan" if you would...LOL. The one thing that my rescue plan does not recognize is the fact that if I tried to rescue them, I would end up saving them...but then I would end up crashing into the window...the bus driver...the back door...SOMETHING! So I began to wonder, "Why do I think this way?" My closest friends know that one of the resons why I moved 2.5 hours away from Boston to get my masters degree was to escape the many people who depended on me. "Oh Max," some of you are saying, "That is sooo mean!" Is it? When you have people calling you because they are sad that their nails broke, or they couldn't afford to get their hair done, or that their boyfriend is a "jerk" when he's bustin' his culo to buy them nice things while you're grieving because you just lost your godmother...that's when it's time to take a breather. And you know what? Now that I am back in Boston, they have all changed. They handle their own problems...so you see techniqually I saved the day again...lol. Just in a different way.

It's interesting though because although I like to save...I don't like being saved. My real cause is self-esteem issues...I don't know why but if I'm in a crowded room with chatty people, I'm always pulled towards the quiet one shrinking in the corner. I've helped many people realize their inner beauty and it's funky to me to see them now, especially when I can still remember the first time that I saw them, but if I were having a bad day or something...I would rather sit in my own funk rather than let someone cheer me up...well sometimes (I know what you're thinking Kalin..."Max, you NEVER let me cheer you up!" Well Kalin that's because after a "session" of you trying to cheer me up I always end up worse off than before!) It's a downfall and I'll admit that I am struggling with it (hmmm...I just admitted weakness...lol). I used to have a super hero complex (you know the one where you believe that you can save EVERYONE and that you're invincible?) I lost that one when I broke my ankle, had to go through surgery, and finally rehab. My physical therapists said to me one day (and I don't know where she got this from), "But Max aren't you superwoman?" I was like, "I used to think I was superwoman until I broke my anke and then it hit me...oh yea, I'm just a regular human. I get hurt, I get sick, no super powers here." That's when I demoted my status. I don't know...should I try to erradicate this complex? (Sorry for the SAT word...lol) Is there anyone else out there feeling me? LOL. Oh! Let's start a possee! It would be so much fun!

Hmmm...I just looked at the time and realized that it's 8:42 am. It's time for this hero to get to work. I know that I am leaving this blog a little undone, but that's because I don't know all the answers yet (yes admitting another weakness). Besides, y'all don't need to know EVERYTHING that's going on inside of my head. It's pretty scary in there...don't go there. :-)

So until then beautiful people...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!!

To all my fellow Bostonians...it's really BAD out there, keep yourselves warm, and if you're in a funk...email me...we'll be in a funk together...lol!

So sure...

2006-05-09T12:27:00.000-05:00

Hey people...

I'm kinda busy at work, so I can't do my blog on being a hero...But I've been playing around with this poem for the past 2 days. Let me know what you think about it.

It absolutely scares me how you're so sure
Willing to trust someone with my past is pure-
ly odd to me and surely I know you've been hurt, you shared that so freely
And it boggles my mind
Cuz though I've been expose to many types
I still haven't encountered your kind
Am I blind?
Or are my eyes wide opened as I'm lead down the exact place from whence I came?
Back down to heart break?
Or
Perhaps to do what it takes for me to change and make you happy that you decided to partake
in this crazy thing I call my world
Your smoothness amazes me
Your sweetness craves my soul to interact with yours
As I type away it's all nonsense for life is a daze...
Mind a blazed from the cluster of thoughts
As I muster the courage everyday just to say "hey"
Trying to act normal while still dizzy for your text effects me throughout the day
But it's no use...
The changes in my dialect gives me away

So truthfully, I want you to stay and play

And adore me...

For I promise thee
I won't flee

That's it. I'll admit it's still kinda rough...LOL.

It's May!

2006-05-08T12:08:00.000-05:00

What's up everyone!!!

I know what you're thinking...Max where the heck were you! I'm sorry...I sista has to work. I mean, I could easily get a sugar daddy, but I decided a long time ago that that thought was completely gross! Besides, I would feel bad because every night I would end up switching his viagra with some sleeping pills and when he woke up the next day I would at him and say, "Wow daddy you were GREAT last night!" And if he said that he didn't remember...I would cry and say, "Every night with you is the best experience I have ever had and you don't remember it?!" Trust me...Those sentences along with some tears would make any man play along...LOL.

So work? Yes. Still haven't found my "dream job" and if you know me...You know that I don't like to just settle, so I have been temping. It's fun actually. If I don't like the place, I get to smile at the thought that I really don't have to return once my assignment is up...LOL. I am actually "working" right now. I'm experiencing down-time and I always found that it's when you are experiencing your down time everyone is mad crazy busy (ghetto vernacular flag...LOL)! And no...I don't participate in bored calling (see post "And you're calling me before" to understand what I am talking about), so I decided to post. Though I don't think anyone is reading this anymore. The last time I posted was in March. WOW! Perhaps I should catch y'all up? Maybe? Yes? No? LOL...Well I'll catch you up in Maxine's style of catch up:

Dating or in Love: NOPE

Job: NOPE and I don't want to talk about that. Most of the times when I try to talk about it with my friends I have to spend my time convincing my friends that I am okay with it while in the back of my mind I'm going "Ummm...Why are you more distraught than me?!" But I guess I've never been one to worry too much.

Family: They are doing great.

Home: Kelly and I are still doing our thing. We still haven't argued yet and that's because we tend to ignore each other when the other person is in a crabby mood (which is usually me...But I warned her that I'm not always cheerful when I'm home. I think it's because on the outside I feel the need to always smile and be sweet with all that I encounter...So I need some time to be in a bad mood).

Hero Complex: Yea...I still have it. LOL. I tried to get rid of it...But it's not working. Perhaps this will be my post tomorrow. The part that REALLY sucks about a hero complex is the fact that you're too busy saving the world but then it hits you...who is going to save me? Any takers? LOL

Talents: Some of you really care about this so I figure that I'd let you know. For those who don't care...Skip over it, close your eyes, scroll down. :-) I've been writing more (poetry and stories) and even singing more. I swear I would LOVE to start up a band...LOL. I have most of the instruments at my crib...Thanks to Gaetane for supplying me with my guitar and bongos which are both red! My favorite color just in case you don't know...LOL. So if ya want to play or just jam, you know how to reach me. Seriously.

I've met some new people and things are working out fine. A few of them are REALLY sweet and I don't know, it just feels good when you get to that point in your life when you feel that everyone you meet are enhancing your experience in this world. So let's end this in a sweet way...

To my new "friends" ( I use quotes because I tend to be a bit careful about using that word with people), "sit back, relax, and let's enjoy this adventure called life together! LOL. I don't know how or why, but I do know that we met for a reason...

To my old friends, "you all know that you will forever have my loyalty and my love. Thanks for being the first ones to break down most of my barriers so that the "new friends" have it easier...LOL. Sure you have the battle scars, but guess what? You also have my heart and that to me is the most precious thing anyone could ever have!!

Until then dear darling readers...

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!!!

Mothers

2006-03-29T18:05:00.000-05:00

Oh please...watch this video...that's all I'm going to say about it. :-)

Treat you Mothers Right